Rethug Values, Cont'd.

Nevada Rethug Governor Jim "Jim Dandy" Gibbons was caught lying repeatedly to a TV reporter about his girlfriend traveling to Washington with him to attend the National Governors' Conference. Jim Dandy has made a name for himself in Nevada for his amorous shenanigans while still married. He nearly was charged with assault after he accosted a cocktail waitress in a parking garage a couple of years ago. His hundreds of text messages to his girlfriend during business hours raised questions about exactly what business Jim Dandy was conducting on behalf of the people of Nevada. Monkey business, apparently.

(photo: Jim Dandy, seated, wearing what appears to be a diaper on his head, had fun in DC with his girlfriend)

Leaving It In Las Vegas

Nevada Rethug Governor Jim "Ladies Man" Gibbons has been in a messy divorce battle with his wife, who is claiming that Ladies Man has been in an ongoing affair with the estranged wife of a Reno doctor. He's been spotted with her several times in Reno after his marital troubles began. You may remember last year that the Gov was involved in an incident in Las Vegas with a waitress, who claimed that he drunkenly propositioned and molested her in a parking garage. Who put the aphrodisiac in this guy's Geritol? It's been disclosed that he text messaged his current flame some 860 times using a government-supplied cell phone. Ladies Man claims that the messages were not love notes, even they were sent at very odd hours. Excuse us for a second. . . .

BWAHAHAHAHA.

It's not likely that Ladies Man will bother to run for a second term, since it's hard to run with your pants around your ankles.