Monday, June 13, 2011
Night of the Dull Knives
The Seven Dwarfs (a.k.a. Romney, Pawlenty, Cain, Bachmann, Santorum, Gingrich, and Paul) square off tonight in what is sure to be a snoozefest... er, debate at St. Anselm College in New Hampshire. Will Pawlenty-o-nothin' drop the "ObamneyCare" bomb on Mittens' moussed head? Will Perfesser Bachmann school us on the Hoot-Smalley tariff and the brave colonials who fought the Brits at Lexington, New Hampshire? Will Herman "Raisin" Cain bring the pizza and keep his remarks to under 3 pages? Will Poot Gingrich say that anything that he's quoted as saying tonight is a falsehood? Will Mittens Romney let us in on how his job-creating bidness magic actually cost hundreds, if not thousands of people their jobs? Will Rick Santorum (giggle) remind us to go to his website, or just Google "Santorum." Will Ron Paul propose we do away with paper money and use only muskrat pelts? Most importantly, will this Hackwhacker be asleep before 5 minutes have elapsed?