Sen. Tuberville, Florida's Third Senator

 

As jug- eared jackass Sen. Tommy "Dixie Dolt" Tuberville (MAGA-?) continues to keep a hold on military promotions, questions have been raised about where he actually lives, when he's not threatening our national security at the Capitol.  Intrepid investigators have an answer:

... Tuberville sold, for nearly $1.1 million, the last properties that he owned in Alabama, according to real estate records. The properties, known as Tiger Farms LLC, are in Macon and Tallapoosa counties, on the outskirts of Auburn. That same month, he also sold one Florida condo for $850,000 and bought another for $825,000.

Tuberville’s office says his primary residence is an Auburn house that records show is owned by his wife and son. But campaign finance reports and his signature on property documents indicate that his home is actually a $3 million, 4,000-square-foot beach house he has lived in for nearly two decades in Santa Rosa Beach, Fla., located in the Florida Panhandle about 90 miles south of Dothan.

The Alabama sale in July was notarized by a person who lives in Santa Rosa Beach, indicating Tuberville was there on July 14. His wife, Suzanne Tuberville, a licensed real estate agent in Florida, has worked at a Santa Rosa Beach real estate firm since the start of this year; she does not have an Alabama real estate license.  (our emphasis)

Izzat a problem? Maybe ...

Under the U.S. Constitution, senators are required to be “an inhabitant” of the state when elected, so residency requirements can be minimal. Two Democrats, Robert F. Kennedy and Hillary Clinton, were elected senators from New York shortly after moving there. Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), who represents a district in the Panhandle, in 2019 considered running for Alabama’s senate seat. But voters increasingly are sensitive to the perception that a lawmaker is not connected to a state. Sen. Richard Lugar (R-Ind.) in 2012 lost his Senate seat after it emerged that, contrary to Senate rules, he had billed taxpayers for hotel stays in the state. Lugar had sold his home in Indianapolis after he was elected in 1976 and bought one in McLean, leaving him with no residence in the state. 

Being the foobaw coach/ Dixie Dolt means you can gaffe it out and face no consequences as long as there's an "R" after your name on the ballot (so far, anyway):

During his Senate campaign in Alabama, Tuberville didn’t deny he was a newcomer to the state, even though he had once coached football there. “Yes, I am not an everyday resident of Alabama,” he acknowledged to a group of voters in a video posted by the campaign of his main challenger for the GOP nomination, former senator Jeff Sessions. “… I’m a carpetbagger of this country.”  [snip]

In a 2017 promotional video for ESPN, Tuberville says he retired to Florida, not Alabama.

“Six months ago, after 40 years of coaching football, I hung up my whistle and moved to Santa Rosa Beach, Florida, with the white sands and blue waters. What a great place to live,” he said, displaying a view over the ocean from the house.  (our emphasis)

So, living in a $3 million, 4,000 square foot residence on the beach in Florida while ostensibly representing the benighted voters of Alabama.  If only they had the sense to retire him to Florida permanently.

(Photo: The Dixie Dolt / Kevin Dietsch, Getty Images)