Swift Boaters Attack

Well, we were off by one primary, but the story was true (see "McCain To Be Swift-Boated?", Jan. 3 Hackwhackers). The bizarre pond algae of the far, far-right known as the "Swift Boaters" have launched their attack on Walnuts McCain, accusing him of being a traitor in Vietnam. The 2-page attack mailer was sent by the "Vietnam Veterans Against McCain" to 80 newspaper editors across South Carolina yesterday (it's not known from what sanitarium the mailers were sent, however).

At least one of these deeply disturbed people runs a web site (usvetdsp.com) that's a fetid stew of anti-McCain, anti-"Barack Hussein Obama," etc., screeds combined with advertisements for Gathering of Eagles, "Aroma Boutique"(!), "Posh Maternity Boutique"(!!), and something called "Crusader Pork Shot Hand Ointment"(!!!). Oh, and Duncan Hunter for President bumper stickers. Love that crazy Rethug base!

Photo: Walnuts reacting to an application of "Crusader Pork Shot Hand Ointment" to his nether regions.

McCain To Be Swift-Boated?

Grrr!!! If you think Walnuts McCain is angry here, wait until Monday! The blogosphere is rife with the rumor that a book to be out on Monday, January 7 (the day before the New Hampshire primary) will swift-boat Walnuts McCain. The rumor is vague and could apply to several candidates, but some of the betting is that Gerard "Apocalypse Now" Kiley, head of Vietnam Veterans Against John McCain and leader of the "swift-boat" smears on John Kerry in 2004, is going to try to paint Walnuts as having sold out his country while a POW in Vietnam (!) and is doing Vietnam's bidding now for fear of exposure (!!).

Clearly Mr. Kiley has taken way too many concussive blows to the head... While we're not fans of McCain's politics, we believe he's a man who served his country courageously. If this takes place as advertised, it only will demonstrate to the world what absolute loons there are out there on the far right Rethug fringe, and that they'll stop at nothing to damage their political enemies. One hopes this will lead to the demise of Kiley's group if not his crackpot ideas, but we're not terribly sanguine.

Swiftboater Sunk

Good news that President Codpiece has withdrawn the nomination of Sam Fox, a major Rethug financer of the infamous "Swift Boat" ads that smeared Senator Kerry in 2004, as Ambassador to Belgium. Bush apparently figured out that this clown would be unlikely to make it through the Senate vote scheduled for later today. Glug glug glug glug. (cartoon - Jack Ohman, USNWR)