The Dukes Of Wasilla / Schmuck Dynasty

Stay classy, Palins!

[Last Saturday] There’s some sort of unofficial birthday/Iron Dog-type/snowmachine party in Anchorage. A nice, mellow party, until the Palin’s show up. There’s beer, of course, and maybe other things. Which is all fine, but just about the time when some people might have had one too many, a Track Palin stumbles out of a stretch Hummer, and immediately spots an ex-boyfriend of Willow’s. Track isn’t happy with this guy, the story goes. There’s words, and more. The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t. At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, “Don’t you know who I am!” And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, “This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!” No, it’s what happens when the former First Family of Alaska comes knocking. As people were leaving in a cab, Track was seen on the street, shirtless, flipping people off, with Sarah right behind him, and Todd somewhere in the foreground, tending to his bloody nose.

Once again, thank you, Sen. "Walnuts" McCain for introducing this "hillbilly reality show" to American politics!

As The Wasilla World Turns, cont'd.

This should be good:

"Levi Johnston Takes Back His Apology To Palin"

Spill your guts, Levi! And pass the popcorn and moose jerky.

Winky for Mother of the Year

Levi Johnston's talking more about life with former Alaska Governor Winky You Betcha. On the CBS Early Show, Johnston said that Winky often jokingly referred to her Down Syndrome child Trig as her "retarded baby," and that daughter Bristol was more of the mother to Trig than Winky, who was never around (maybe she was practicin' her "fancy pageant walkin'").

Johnston has promised to share more behind-the-scenes dirt on life with Winky and the Wasilla Snowbillies. So Winky's adoring boosters better get cracking on that Mother of the Year award before Levi spills more beans.

Mom of the Year? Probably Not

Levi Johnston, ex-fiance of Winky You Betcha's daughter Bristol, is giving everyone some interesting views into life in Winkyville. Johnston, in an article in the current Vanity Fair, says that Winky and husband Todd the Secessionist bicker often and sleep in separate bedrooms; that Winky has the kids do all the housework and sends them out for her food (Taco Bell seems to be a favorite); that Winky never reads a newspaper; and that -- horrors for Winky's fanbase! -- Winky doesn't know how to shoot. Hard to believe, but Johnston also says Winky has referred to her Downs syndrome son as "the retarded one." Mom of the Year.

(photo: Winky respecting the flag, and ready to run away from her responsibilities)