Tea-tarded

It's amusing to see the Rethug establishment's pathetic record in their primaries or nominating conventions thus far, thanks to the teabagger Armey, er, army. In Nevada, Alaska, Utah, and Colorado, the Rethug establishment's preferred candidates went down to defeat to teatards. Now you can add Senate nominees in Delaware and New York to the list. Sadly for the Rethugs (snicker snicker) they can also probably remove some states from their likely wins in November as a result (thank you Nevada, Colorado and Delaware).

In Delaware, Christine "No Dildos" O'Donnell beat long-time Delaware politician Mike "Home Is My" Castle, but while her victory may give the baggers a warm, wet feeling, it's probably because they've just pissed away the seat to Dem Chris Coons. Even Turdblossom Rove was turning thumbs down on No Dildos' chances because of her insane positions. In New York, Carl "Porno" Paladino handily beat establishment favorite Rick "Lyin'" Lazio for the Rethug nomination, essentially worthless since either would lose to Dem Andrew Cuomo. Porno, of course is noted for sending mass e-mails out showing a PhotoShopped image of President and Mrs. Obama dressed as a pimp and whore, and for including images of bestiality in his other e-mails. Suggested slogan for Porno Paladino: "Pets Need Love, Too."

(Photo: No shit, Sherlock)

Primary Day

Voters go the the polls in seven states and D.C. today to select candidates for the November elections. The interesting ones involve the Rethug / Tea Farty contests in Delaware and New Hampshire, where far right extremist teatard candidates are running against mainly corporatist Rethugs. The contest in Delaware for the Rethug candidacy is between Rep. Mike "Home is My" Castle and nutjob Christine O'Donnell, whom even the teatards' sugar daddy, "Major" Dick Armey, has come out against. We're hoping that O'Donnell is the nominee, since that would likely mean Dem Chris Coons' victory in November. Meanwhile in New Hampshire, the Rethug / Tea Farty split is fuzzier: Kelly Ayote has the backing of Alaska grifter Winky, but her opponent is backed by prominent teatard activists and loony Confederate SC Senator Jim "Demented" DeMint.

We'll be watching these and the other races during the day.

What The Times Said

The NY Times had a take similar to ours on the primary results in Arkansas. Worth a read. It makes one wish the Kaplan Daily wasn't a hotbed of anti-union Rethuglican wankery.

Crosses To Bear

As a result of last Tuesday's primaries, both the Dems and Rethugs have candidate crosses to bear. The Rethugs, being drawn to the farther-right by its tea bagger base, have more crosses - in the form of Snarly Carly Fiorina and Sticky Nikki Haley. Then there's Sharron "Right" Angle, who is so despicable that Republicans like Reno Mayor Bob Cashell and Nevada First Lady Dawn Gibbons are throwing their support to Harry Reid. Well done, tea baggers!

Unfortunately, our crosses include corporate "Dem" Blanche Lincoln (who will lose in November anyway) and Alvin Greene who is either a Rethug dirty trick or the product of an ill-informed and lazy voting public (we cast our vote for the former, with some of the latter thrown in).

Quote of the Day

". . .for weeks Republicans and reporters have been primed to treat the inevitable Republican victory there as some sort of sign that the Republican wave was going to destroy the Democrats in November. It shouldn't be big news that a Republican would win a district that went for John McCain, and he, uh, lost. For those who are counting, that's 7 straight special elections won by Democrats. I'm sure the Republican wave will start building any minute now."--
blogger extraordinaire Atrios, commenting today on the Dem victory in the 12th district of Pennsylvania. Now, who is surprised that you haven't heard any commentary in the mainstream media about those 7 straight Dem victories?

UPDATE: Jason Linkins at HuffPo notices the shoddy mainstream media narrative fell apart.

Post-Primary Pontifications

Interestingly enough, the Dems fared reasonably well in yesterday's multi-state primaries. The biggest news was the surging Rep. Joe Sestak's victory over Sen. Arlen Specter in Pennsylvania's Democratic primary. The Dem machine in Pennsylvania as well as the Administration lined up behind Specter, but it wasn't enough to overcome Pennsylvania Dems' yearning for a fresh, reliably progressive candidate to face far right-wing Rethug candidate Pat "Loony" Toomey in November. Also, Pennsylvania's 12th Congressional district, one which Rethugs were counting on winning after Rep. John Murtha's death earlier this year, stayed Democratic, and not by a slim margin either.

More bad news for establishment Rethugs was the defeat of Sen. Mitch "Missy" McConnell's hand-picked candidate for Senate in Kentucky, Trey Grayson, who lost by a wide margin to tea bagger favorite and dispenser of 19th century policy prescriptions Rand "The Sprinklerhead" Paul (named after nutty author Ayn Rand). The Kentucky Dem primary produced a victory of a very attractive candidate, Kentucky Attorney General Jack Conway who is both charismatic and photogenic. It's noteworthy that Kentucky Dems came out in larger numbers than the Rethugs. Another mainstream media meme down in flames.

Finally, there's the runoff in the Arkansas Senate race between conserva-Dem Sen. Blanche Lincoln and Lt. Gov. Bill Halter, who was supported by progressive groups and organized labor. It sends a message that, while tea bagging right wingers get a lot of notice for their influence over Rethugs, the progressive wing of the Democratic Party is trying to steer their party back to its roots by rejecting "Rethuglican lite" candidates.