From Conservative to Rethug: A Lexicon

Every so often we think it's useful to define some of the terms we use when referring to our fellow Americans of a rightward tilt. As we have said in the past, the Hackwhackers have friends and family who count themselves as Republicans. We still love them and we think that's fine, although misguided. After all, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, and many other fine Americans past and present have the same party identification.

But over the course of the last 40 or so years, American politics has been degraded by a relentless march downward to the lowest common denominator; it has witnessed a growing "us" vs. "them" dynamic, where both "us" and "them" are Americans. Many on all sides have contributed to this phenomenon, but we believe that a strong case can be made that, beginning in the '60s, there's been such a concerted effort to demonize one side -- liberalism -- to the extent that the word has almost become pejorative. Nixon, Agnew, George Wallace, and the rise of the right under Ronald Reagan and the Bushes were fueled in large measure by caricaturing Democrats/ liberals as soft, elitist, race-mixing, out-of-control tax-and-spenders. In short, when ever they could, they played on peoples' fears rather than their hopes.

During the Dumbya Era, liberals (or progressives, as we prefer) have admittedly taken a great deal of pleasure out of the reversal of fortunes of the "conservative" movement. But we would have to lay on the ridicule non-stop for 30 years in order to match the vitriol that's been, and continues to be, heaped on Democrats/ liberals in the GOP playbook. So with that as a bit of a rationalization, we would like to make some distinctions in the terms we often use here, moving from the sublime to the ridiculous:

Conservatism: A political philosophy based on a belief in limited government and the primacy of the individual. Its ideological forebears are Edmund Burke and Adam Smith. Its modern exemplars are Robert Taft, Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan. George "Born 200 Years Too Late" Will is a notable flame-keeper.

Republican: One of two great American political parties, representing (in the past 80 years) the conservative viewpoint.

Rebunglecans: Republicans who have demonstrated incompetence or ineptitude (see Dumbya, "Brownie," George Allen, and neocons Dead Eye Dick, Rummy, Wolfowitz, Kristol, and Feith -- we could go on, but our fingers would fall off). This is often the result of favoring "style" (eg., Dumbya as a "compassionate conservative") vs. "substance," or of a mindset that refuses to be confused by the facts or reality (eg., the neocons).

Rethugs: A growth sector within the Republican Party over the past 20 years, Rethugs are the win-at-all-costs, hypocritical, authoritarian, hyper partisan, divide and conquer cynics that have been in control of the GOP since the mid-80s. Think Karl Rove, the GOP House and Senate leadership ("Man Tan" Boehner, Missy McConnell, etc.), the entire Rupert Murdoch/ Fox News/ NY Post empire, hate talk radio (Michael "Wiener" Savage, for example), and the wingnut blogosphere (the Townhall crazies, Michelle Malkin, Doughy Pantload, etc., etc.). A not-insignificant part of this is the so-called Christian Right, which is neither Christian nor right: Tony Perkins, "Rev." Dobson, "Rev." Hagee, Diamond Pat Robertson, etc.

Well, we've gone on for quite enough. But hopefully this explains the shorthand terms we use and the distinctions we make.

McSame and His Economic Darwinists

We told you about some of the dubious characters who are Walnuts! McSame's band of economic advisors. Well, Harold Meyerson, in today's WaPo makes a case why these economic Darwinists shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the levers of the American economy. In his op/ed "Bailing Out The Reaganites," Meyerson addresses how McSame and his crew are seeing the fruits of Ronnie Raygun's laissez-faire policies, especially in the unregulated, speculative financial sectors, at the same time he and his fellow Rebunglecans have fallen over themselves asking, "What would St. Ronnie do?":

"Now, the task of squaring the Reaganite worldview with the collapse of the Reaganite world under the weight of its own doctrines has fallen squarely on McCain and those Bush administration officials charged with averting an economic catastrophe... Until recently, McCain's economic message consisted chiefly of abolishing congressional earmarks in appropriations bills - a classic Reaganite proposal that would have no effect on our economic situation."

So who does McSame turn to for the economic expertise he admits he sorely lacks? Why former Sen. Phil Gramm (Rethug- TX), who authored the 1999 legislation that repealed the New Deal law restricting the speculative activities of banks! Gramm also lobbied Congress "to overturn state laws restricting predatory lending and the issuance of mortgages to prospective home owners who could not afford them."

Meyerson also tags Bush Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (former Goldman Sachs co-chair) for his "ambivalence toward regulation" and for his proposal that "would actually lead to less government oversight of Wall Street." Meyerson concludes:

"In their unwillingness to do what it takes to save the economy, McCain, Paulson & Co. are treading a familiar path. From 1929 through 1932, Andrew Mellon, Herbert Hoover's Treasury secretary [and ancestor of Richard Mellon Scaife, Hillary's new BFF on the far right] and owner of one of America's largest banks, saw no role for the government in helping the economy other than to encourage companies to lay off their employees."

Ah yes, the wonderful legacy of laissez-faire Rebunglecans!

New Evidence That Reaganomics Worked!

The Onion has evidence that's trickled down proving once and for all that the Ronnie Raygun economic philosophy that Rethugs have long practiced works!

"Mr. 9/11's" Numbers Slipping

Recent polls are showing considerable shrinkage in Rudy (Rhymes With Doody) Giuliani's support nationwide and in critical primary states. It hasn't helped that "real conservative" Fred "Cornpone/ Leghorn/ Huckleberry" Thompson's in the race officially now. But the real surprise is Walnuts McCain's support shoring up around 18 percent, which is where Rudy had been peeling off support up until now. Also worthy of note: Willard "Muff/Mutt/Mousse/Flip" Romney is barely cracking double digits (10%), and is being beaten in one poll by "Don't Know."

Maybe folks are starting to read more about Rudy's less-than-heroic pre- and post-9/11 actions, his "liberal" positions on "values" issues, his troubled domestic life, or his odd personnel choices?

Turning Left

In an article in today's WaPo, "Permanent Republican Majority? Think Again," Andrew Kohut and Carroll Doherty of the Pew Research Center paint a gloomy picture for the Rethugs and a relatively bright one for progressive Democrats. Contrary to the wishful musings of Turdblossom and Abramoff bag man/"peewee league intellectual" Grover Norquist, the trending on a variety of social and policy issues is leftward; for example, more support for anti-poverty programs and more skepticism about the tenets of religious fundamentalism. In the question of party support, 50 percent connect with the Democrats, and only 35 percent with the Rethugs. A similar trend is apparent among Independents, who trended heavily (57 percent) to Democrats in the 2006 elections.

The writers caution that Democrats must not assume a permanent majority of their own is theirs for the asking, but rather to present themselves to the American people as the leaders and achievers, in contrast with the incumbent small-bore bunglers.

Gilmore (Who??) Bows Out

Comes word that former Rethug National Chairman and Gov. James Gilmore (Rethug-VA) is dropping out of the crowded Rebunglecan presidential field. Gilmore, whose only contribution to the race was his right-on sobriquet "Rudy McRomney" for three of his rivals (we'll keep that one alive for you, Jimbo!), is dropping out due to lack of funds. Gilmore is reportedly thinking about making a run for state office, a thought which must be causing many Virginia Rebunglecans' sphincters to tighten in mortal fear, given the low (Dumbya-level) esteem in which Gilmore was held when he left office. Jimbo, those voices you heard demanding that you run for president? They're the same ones you're hearing now demanding that you run for office in Virginia.

Quote of the Week

"It's going to be a very tight race, and ultimately a Republican will still have an advantage. We're still the daddy-bear party that's going to be trusted to protect America." Alex Castellanos (left), Willard "Muff/Mutt/Mousse" Romney's media advisor on the 2008 race (July 4 WaPo).

No, Alex. The Rebunglecans will not have an advantage. That's because they're not the "daddy-bear party" but, more accurately, the incompetent-bear (think Yogi) party, or the pander-bear party (see Revs. Dobson, Robertson, et al.). And Alex, "trusted to protect America?" This is not 2004 and we're not Goldilocks. For your own sake, please don't let Muff/Mutt/Mousse catch you smokin'that crack, ok? You saw what trouble Rudy's man in South Carolina got into.

Rethug Campaign Theme Songs

We have the latest information on theme songs some Rebunglecan candidates are using, complete with lyric changes:

Sen. Walnuts McCain - Kingston Trio's "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" - Lyric change: "Where have all the dollars gone..."

Willard "Muff/Mutt/Mousse" Romney - The Castaways' "Liar, Liar"

Rep. Tom "Italian, Not Mexican" Tancredo - Ray Charles' "Hit the Road, Jack" - Lyric change: "Hit the road, Juan, and don't you come back no more, no more..."

Sen. Sam "Jurassic Jesus" Brownback - Laurie London's "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" - Lyric change: "He's got the embryonic stem cell in his hands..."

We'll keep you posted on additional theme songs as they are announced.

More Than One Hung Low

Apparently, there's a move afoot by the Feds to have local/state election officials translate candidates names into Chinese characters in precincts with predominant Chinese-speaking populations. Some of the examples noted were for Willard "Mitt" (aka "Muff") Romney and Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson. Willard's name translated into "Sticky Rice" or "Uncooked Rice" (but apparently not "Condoleeza Rice"). Fred's comes out as "Virtue Soup," which we've never tasted but would imagine is pretty thin and unappetizing.

But how about some of the other Rebunglecan candidates? We would venture these guesses:

Sen. Walnuts McCain: "Gen. Bush's Bok Toy"

Rudy "McRomney" Giuliani: "Shady Man Who Likes to Dress as a Woman"

Sen. Sam Brownback: "Dances With Dinosaurs and Jesus"

Statistic of the Week

Sports Illustrated, in this week's edition ("2007 NASCAR Midseason Report"), reports it's polled NASCAR Nextel Cup drivers on a number of topics, one of which was party affiliation (18 responded, but not to all questions, hence the percentages don't add to 100). The results?
Republican 59%
Democrat 0%
Independent 18%

Actually, not surprising, given that they go around in circles, waste enormous amounts of energy, and often cheat (photo of local Rebunglecan party county chairman enjoyin' the racin', while showin' off his IQ).

Re-Branding

The Rebunglecans may be taking a short break in their ongoing efforts to "brand" the American public, in the manner depicted in this illustration. It appears, as reported in the June 1 WaPo and in DWT, that the Rethugs think new "branding" for the somewhat tarnished Rebunglecan nameplate is just what's needed to bring America back to its senses. Well, they need look no further than our April blogging, "What is a Republican" and "Who is a Republican" to find plenty of fertile ground for this Truth in Advertising effort. In fact, we think so much of the efforts of Rep. "Man Tan" Boner and his point man, Rep. John "Not Jimmy, Dammit" Carter, that we sent Carter copies of these postings to help stimulate the creative process. We patiently await his thanks.

The Country Club Set

Eugene Robinson's piece in today's WaPo describes the Rebunglecan presidential field, as seen in last week's press confer ... er, "debate," as wide but not deep. On first look (and last, we might add), the field said "country club" to Robinson. We noted the stature deficit prior to the debate ("The Hour-and-a-Half Comedy Hour"). No wonder the Rebunglecan base is dissatisfied with their choices. As Robinson notes,

"Try as each man might to cloak himself in Reagan's mantle, it didn't seem to fit. As candidates, they all seemed to have some growing to do."

Yeah. And keep in mind "Reagan's mantle" is only a toddler's small.