Rick Perry Re-Enters The Republican Clown Car

Former Texas governor and future men's hair care product spokesman Rick "Oops" Perry is the latest clown to declare his candidacy (his second try) for the Republican presidential nomination.  (Or, perhaps he never exited the clown car in 2012?  Was that you, Rick, tapping in the trunk?).  Perry is considered to be a "second tier" candidate after his disastrous performance in the 2012 primaries, his dystopian 14- year administration, and his current indictment for abuse of power while governor.  But, who knows, now that he's sportin' those "smart" glasses!

Yes, another Republican who will never be President -- and thank goodness for that, since he seems to have no idea what's in the U.S. Constitution. 

BONUS:  Steve M. at No More Mister Nice Blog tells us about Perry's campaign song and the loyal Amurican who sings it.

(Photo:  Yahoo!)

Governor Hair's Excellent Adventures

After his hilariously bad performance in the 2012 Rethuglican primaries, Texas Governor and future LensCrafter spokesperson Rick "Hair" Perry clearly wants to give it another try.  He's wearing "smart glasses," staging photo opportunities with fellow wingnut blowhard Sean "Heil" Hannity at the Rio Grande, and pressing the flesh at the Iowa State Fair, where he literally squeezed a 10 year old girl's hand so much she couldn't feel her fingers.  He's even being "briefed" on foreign affairs ("Shoot, I thought this was 'bout what furrin leaders were havin' affairs").  On top of it all, Gov. Hair's convinced himself that he's "awesome" and definitely Presidential material, despite the fact that only 8.7% of Rethuglicans support his candidacy.  That's not "awesome," that's awful.

(photo:  Gov. Hair, without his glasses, eats what may or may not be a corn dog.)

Oops, He's Running Again!

Step 1.   Wear glasses to give the impression you've got a brain;

Step 2.    Play to the base and pout when you're face-to-face with the President;  and (because we can keep three points in our head at one time)

Step 3.   Have someone pen an op/ed for you to run in the once great Washington Post Bezos Bugle (which will publish anything), attacking a potential rival for the Rethuglican/ New Confederate/ Stupid Party nomination for not wanting to go back into Iraq with guns blazin'.

Yep.  Future Lenscrafters and hair products spokesperson Gov. Rick "Oops" Perry (Secessionist-TX) is running for preznit!  More popcorn over here!

(Image:  Sans glasses.  Given his vision problems, he'll eventually end up shooting himself in the foot.)