If Only We Had A Time Machine

Alexandra Petri tells us "when you should live, based on your ideology:"

What you believe:
“I don’t believe in vaccinating my kids!” 

When you should live:
1794, right before Edward Jenner made his breakthrough! 

You have every right to think this, but please don’t jeopardize everyone else’s herd immunity! And have fun treating your other medical ailments with leeches! 

What you believe:
“If the earth is getting warmer, it is not because of anything that humans are doing!” 

When you should live:
Approximately 8000 B.C., at the end of the last ice age, a time when we could say that with certainty! 

Hey, maybe the science isn’t settled. Just in case, settle in a time before scientists. You want to feel absolutely positive? That comes with a price. 

What you believe:
“I don’t believe women should have access to birth control.” 

When you should live:
3,000,000 B.C., when you can feel confident that no women have access to birth control because homo sapiens have not evolved yet. 

If you don’t believe in evolution, Oct. 26, 4004 B.C. should work just fine — one day before God built the Earth, by Bishop Usher’s calculation, anyway. Definitely no birth control then.

Ahh, if only we could "deport" the tea baggers and other reactionary cranks and dimbulbs back in time to when they should have lived.  ("Look, it's Jesus riding a dinosaur!")  We'd all be so much happier.

Saturday's Paul Krugman Read

Paul Krugman opines on the missing link between the world of science and rationality and the dinosaur-riding-Jeebus party (in the shape of Sen. Marco "Polo!" Rubio (Not A Scientist, Man - FL)):

"Earlier this week, GQ magazine published an interview with Senator Marco Rubio, whom many consider a contender for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, in which Mr. Rubio was asked how old the earth is. After declaring 'I’m not a scientist, man,' the senator went into desperate evasive action, ending with the declaration that 'it’s one of the great mysteries.'

"It’s funny stuff, and conservatives would like us to forget about it as soon as possible. Hey, they say, he was just pandering to likely voters in the 2016 Republican primaries — a claim that for some reason is supposed to comfort us.

"But we shouldn’t let go that easily. Reading Mr. Rubio’s interview is like driving through a deeply eroded canyon; all at once, you can clearly see what lies below the superficial landscape. Like striated rock beds that speak of deep time, his inability to acknowledge scientific evidence speaks of the anti-rational mind-set that has taken over his political party."

With a base in denial about global climate change, evolution and, um, simple math, it's no wonder comers like Rubio are desperate to gloss over the fact that his party for the most part exists in a 19th Century time-warp.

Great Moments in American Edumacation

"I don't think we came from monkeys. I think that's ridiculous. I haven't seen a half-monkey, half-person yet." Perfesser Glenn "Boo Hoo the Hoot" Beck, of "Beck University," on his radio show the other day. To quote Bill Maher's put down of Christine "No Dildos" O'Donnell's denial of monkey-to-human evolution, "you don't evolve in the time it would take to watch them." Also, it begs the rejoinder, "Have you looked in a mirror lately, Boo-Hoo?" Moron.