Bank On It

"Socks" Wolfowitz's resignation from the World Bank is apparently imminent. Although it would be delightful to drag it out a bit longer so that Wolfie could absorb some additional, well-deserved arrows, it appears as though all parties are agreed that he's toast, but are trying to work out a face saving departure (big severance, some World Bank acknowledgement of unclear rules, etc.) Pity that he couldn't have been ejected from the Defense Department before he cooked up the Iraq war strategy.

Update: Wolfie has agreed to resign by the end of June, in exchange for the World Bank board acknowledging some error and a generous severance. Bastard.

Road Trip

Our blog will be on hiatus while we spend time in Wisconsin with family and friends. We'll be back on Thursday, May 17.

Jokers

Robertson: "Did ya hear the joke 'bout the Mormon's underwear?"
Romney: "Did you hear the one about the gay preacher?'
Both: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out

It appears that the term of Paul "Socks" Wolfowitz as head of the World Bank is about to end, according to this piece in the New York Times. His conflict of interest in promoting A-rab girlfriend Shaha "Ha Ha" Ali Riza within the ranks and getting her a cushy job with the State Department was condemned by the World Bank board. That Board is trying to jettison Socks in return for allowing the U.S. to appoint his successor. With the doors seeming to be closing on the neocon cheerleaders for the Iraq war, Socks may have to look for gainful employment elsewhere. Hey, maybe he could be the go-between for the Israelis and Palestinians; given his history with Ha Ha, he could teach them to make love and not war.

The Country Club Set

Eugene Robinson's piece in today's WaPo describes the Rebunglecan presidential field, as seen in last week's press confer ... er, "debate," as wide but not deep. On first look (and last, we might add), the field said "country club" to Robinson. We noted the stature deficit prior to the debate ("The Hour-and-a-Half Comedy Hour"). No wonder the Rebunglecan base is dissatisfied with their choices. As Robinson notes,

"Try as each man might to cloak himself in Reagan's mantle, it didn't seem to fit. As candidates, they all seemed to have some growing to do."

Yeah. And keep in mind "Reagan's mantle" is only a toddler's small.

The Decider's Diary

Well, my numbers are down to 28%, not that I care about polls. I'm the Decider! That's my job and it's hard work! I am having an identity crisis, sorta. See, I'm wondering if I should be the Decider, the Action Officer, or the Commander Guy. My base wants "Strong Man" or "Dictator," but those might be a little harsh. Let me know what you think... and I'll do what I want to do anyway (heh, heh -- just a little jab for any Defeatocrats reading this).

I still have to figure out who'll be my War Czar (hey, that's not bad -- maybe I can be the Czar Czar?!). That guy with the big, empty head... Gingrich... thinks red tape in Washington is the biggest obstacle to winning in Iraq. I quote, "The problem is not broad strategy and policy, it's that the bureaucracy is so inefficient..." End of quotation. That Newtie, he's a card! Heh, heh.

Did you see me and Laura on "American Idol?" That got us a lot of points with the twins. I don't watch it anymore now that Sanjaya fella is gone. I liked him and his funny hairdos! I overheard Mitch McConnell telling Lindsay Graham that he wanted to make Sanjaya his bitch. I don't know what that means, but I'm sure it's wholesome fun even though it sounds kinda weird!

Well, I gotta get ready for the Queen tonight, take a bath, be on my best behavior. I hear she was a little offended that last time I saw her over in England when I tried out a "pull my finger" joke on her. I can't believe she hadn't heard of those jokes before! Anyway, I told her that was my Weapon of Mass Destruction! Heh, heh! Then she pulled a Poppy and vomited! Oh well, at least my base understands me!

Perles of Wisdom

Not far behind former CIA Director George Tenet's "Don't Blame Me" tour, we find the neocon's sinister Field Marshall, Richard Perle. Interviewed on CNN, Perle is ducking blame for his role in the rush to war with Iraq, claiming that he never subscribed to the belief that Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9/11. But on September 16, 2001, he claimed on CNN that there were ties between Saddam Hussein and Bin Laden, ties which he still claims have been documented, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Wonder what he thinks the purpose of those "ties" were, then, if he didn't believe there was a connection between them that led to 9/11? He further said in the interview that he was in favor of removing Saddam long before 9/11, but denies telling Tenet shortly after 9/11 that we had to go after Iraq.

Who's lying? While neither would win a Boy Scout of the Year award, Perle is more slippery by far. A 2004 account of the push by the neocons to make war on Iraq in "Mother Jones" is revealing. The nexus between this group, the American Enterprise Institute (neocon central), and the Likud Party in Israel is also interesting.

Tweety Twikes Again

Of course, the emcee at last night's "debate" was none other than Chris "Tweety" Matthews. Tweety has long exhibited a pathological grudge against the Clintons, and now that Hillary Clinton is running for President, Tweety never misses an opportunity on his MSNBC "Hardball" program to giggle and leer about the former First Lady and President, as if he's heard some new, never-heard-before jokes that he wants to spring on his audience. Martin Lewis has a good skewering of Tweety's performance last night at HuffPo. Lewis suspects Tweety's attitude stems from Clenis envy. Given Tweety's abject sucking up to candidates he views as "macho", such as Fred Thompson, Rudi!, and Johnny Walnuts McCain, that's not such a far fetched theory.

Sam, Mike, and Tom: Your Rethug Stooges

We didn't bother watching the Rethuglican candidates' "debate" last night, along with most Americans. One commenter on a popular post said, "the winners of last night's debate were the people who had their television sets turned off." True, but Crooks and Liars did capture one hilarious moment when the luminaries of the American Taliban Party were asked who didn't believe in evolution. Three idiots, Brownback, Huckabee and Tancredo, raised their hands! And it's 2007, not 1707!

"The Commander Guy"

Well, it looks like Preznit Codpiece has given himself a new designation: in a follow up question and answer session at yesterday's meeting of a builders association, the Decider said, "I'm the Commander Guy." The AWOL frat boy that never succeeded in anything, despite his daddy's continual help, has achieved his ambition: leading our armed forces in wartime. Unfortunately the Commander Guy/Decider/Dress Up Pilot, with his severely limited abilities, is leading them off a very high cliff in Iraq, where real soldiers are paying the price of his pride and stupidity.

The Hour-and-a-Half Comedy Hour

A comedy---tonight!! It's the Seven Dwarfs and the Three Stooges on the same stage, doing their hilarious riffs: Walnuts McCain doing his rendition of "BombBombBombBombBombIran," Willard "Muff" Romney doing back flips while shootin' varmints, Rudy "Toot-Tootie" Giuliani singing in drag, and the Seven Dwarfs ("Happy" Gilmore, "Doc" Brownback, etc.) who... well, the name says it all. Emceed by Tweety (who, if past is prologue, will get at least 30 minutes of air time alone).

The Bloom is Off the Turd

The Senate Judiciary Committee this afternoon subpoenaed AG 'Berto "I Don't Recall" Gonzales, ordering him to provide all e-mails related to Karl "Turdblossom" Rove and the firings of eight U.S. attorneys. 'Berto has until May 15 to fork over the information. Meanwhile, we understand Turdblossom is joining Scooter's yoga class so they can both practice their ankle-gripping techniques. We hear Allenwood is nice in the Spring.

The Veto

Bush's veto statement yesterday was a masterpiece of dishonesty and contempt for the public. He adamantly refuses to tie any achievement of benchmarks by the Iraqi government to the gradual withdrawal of our troops from the middle of their civil war. That's not surprising, given the lack of accountability he's engendered in his own sorry Assministration. Remember "as they stand up, we'll stand down"? With roughly 20 months left in his disastrous Presidency, Chimpy is content to "stay the course" - - the so-called "surge" being an almost meaningless holding action focused on Baghdad - - until the mess is turned over to the next President, likely a Democrat. Then begins the "the Democrats stabbed us in the back" slime from the Rethuglicans, who are too dishonest and reckless to admit that they own this catastrophe and its repercussions.

There are growing signs, however, that some Rethugs on the Hill don't want to wait until September to bail on their leader, and will break ranks and force him to accept some benchmarks for the Iraqis to meet as part of the $120 billion funding package. They see 2008 looming, and are petrified of an electoral disaster. Good.

(photo: pictures of fallen soldiers make up a portrait of Bush)

The Purple Finger Eaters

And speaking of "Mission Accomplished," we're seeing reports today that the Maliki government has set up a shadowy "Office of the Commander in Chief" that is overriding decisions being made elsewhere in the Iraqi government, and that is pushing the Shiite sectarian agenda to the detriment of the Sunni and Kurd minorities. This is what the Iraqi people voted for? Don't think so.

The actions of this Office are seen as undermining U.S. policies in Iraq. It's beginning to resemble the Bushie/Rethug political apparatus here in undermining the Constitution.

Mission Accomplished - $3/Gal. Gas

On the fourth anniversary of "Mission Accomplished," Commander-in-Chief Codpiece is set to veto the Iraq war funding bill that would set benchmarks and a date for redeploying U.S. forces in Iraq. At the same time, average retail gasoline prices are set to hit $3/gallon. If one of the reasons for the catastrophic decision to invade Iraq was to stabilize a major center of oil production, that's certainly worked out well for us, hasn't it?!

It would be one thing if rising gasoline prices were slowing consumption, helping subsidize the retooling of the industry infrastructure, or providing new revenues for conservation actions and alternative energy development, but (spoiler alert!) that seems not to be the case. In fact, what is happening is that the record-setting oil industry profits resulting from this price gouging aren't even going into needed upgrades in the industry's infrastructure; rather they're going overwhelmingly into shareholders' and executives' pockets. You see, that's how the executives and boards of directors of these companies keep the shareholders pacified while they vote themselves generous salaries, bonuses, and platinum parachutes. The middle class gets screwed and the Wall Street country club set rejoices: Mission Accomplished!