Christie Attacks Trump In Announcing Candidacy

Former failed New Jersey Governor and traffic saboteur Chris "Krispykreme" Christie formally announced his sure-to-fail bid for the Republican / Shooters / Forced Birth party nomination yesterday in New Hampshire, firing salvos at the front running Malignant Loser.  His meat axe-wielding style of politics will be amusing to watch as he goes after the Malignant Loser's criminal carcass, as he did yesterday:

"In New Hampshire, a state that is key to Christie’s chances, the ex-governor began a point-by-point take down of promises that Trump made and never kept. He noted that Trump did not fulfill his pledge to repeal and replace Obamacare and that any recent attendee of one of Trump’s rallies might leave after listening to the former president mistakenly thinking that he had succeeded in building a wall along the entire southern border and had made Mexico pay for it.

'He got a quarter of the wall built and Mexico hasn’t given us our first peso. We paid for all of it,' Christie said.

Christie noted that he had recently heard Trump claim that if he is reelected he would settle the war in Ukraine in 24 hours: 'Did you hear that one? That’s a beauty. … In a career of complete falsehoods, that makes the top five.'  [snip]

'A lonely, self-consumed, self-serving mirror hog is not a leader,' Christie said, before accusing other rivals of being 'pretenders all around us who want to tell you, ‘Pick me. Because I’m kind of like what you picked before, but not quite as crazy. But I don’t want to say his name.’ He said he would leave no doubts about the target of his criticism.

'The person I am talking about — who is obsessed with the mirror, who never admits a mistake, who never admits a fault, and who always find someone else and something else to blame for whatever goes wrong but finds every reason to take credit for anything that goes right is Donald Trump.'" (our emphasis)

Of course Christie was one of the first to endorse the Malignant Loser in 2016, and would not stray far from the Malignant Loser's noxious, fascistic policies if he ever got into office. His singular appeal as a candidate for those who despise the Malignant Loser is his willingness to hack off his opponents' gonads, as he did with Sen. Marco "Little Marco" Rubio in a Republican debate in 2016. If he has enough in the bank to last a year, he should provide some entertainment not only in going after the Malignant Loser, but his spineless colleagues in the race.

(photo: In happier times. Drew Angerer / Getty Images)

 

Christie Aiming To Be Trump's "Critic In Chief"

Florida's book- banning, COVID-spreading fascistic Gov. Ron "Bootsie / Meatball Ron" DeSantis is losing steam among donors and voters in his likely bid for the Republican nomination. As the great hope of corporate Republicans who are tired of losing with the Malignant Loser, DeSantis hasn't hit back at the Malignant Loser's frequent and nasty attacks, worrying some of his followers that he's not up to the task. However, in the way that nature abhors a vacuum, the boisterous former New Jersey Gov. Chris "Traffic Cone" Christie appears ready to  engage with the Malignant Loser, if only for a kamikaze mission to tear some chunks off of the Malignant Loser's yuuuge rear end. Christie was in early primary state New Hampshire the other day testing his "Trump's a loser" message, as Politico reports:

"Christie reunited a group of his New Hampshire backers on Monday night, when he returned to the state for a town hall at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics — a prerequisite for any presidential hopeful — followed by a private dinner with close friends, former supporters and some donors.

Christie was cagey about whether he is actually running for president again. But if he is — he’s said a decision could come in 45 to 60 days — he spelled out a clear lane for himself as Trump’s critic in chief.

Christie doesn’t see one in what is shaping up to be the 2024 Republican field.

'They’re going to wriggle right up next to him and say "I’m almost like him, but I’m not quite as bad,” Christie said of his would-be rivals. 'Let me tell you something, everybody. That’s going to lose as certain as he lost in ‘20, as we lost the House in ‘18, as we lost the Senate in ‘21, as we underperformed in ‘22.'”  [snip]

'Trump said a few weeks ago: I am your retribution. Guess what everybody? No thanks,' Christie said. 'The only person he cares about is him. And if we haven’t learned that since Election Day 2020 until today, we’re not paying attention.'”  (our emphasis)

In some ways, the loud mouthed former New Jersey Governor was a forerunner of the Malignant Loser's style of cut-them-up politics, known for his nasty remarks and bullying. We'll see how long he's able to hang in with the Malignant Loser, but we're not optimistic about a long distance event between the two.

(photo: Christie and Trump, with Christie-nemesis Javanka sneering in the background/ Shawn Thew, Getty Images) 

 

Guess The Cost Was For An Extra Large Canvas

News Item:

Chris Christie is sparing no expense when it comes to his official portrait, which is being paid for with public funds. 

The former New Jersey Republican governor is commemorating his eight years in office, which ended in January, with a painting of himself by Australian artist Paul Newton. He signed an $85,000 contract for the work the month before his term ended.  

The price is more than the state’s three previous governors paid for their portraits combined, reports The Record, which revealed the extravagant expenditure on Thursday.

Just one more "sit down and shut up" moment from Christie for the citizens of New Jersey.

(Photo:  "I'm going to need more paint over here!")

Calling Liars Liars And Racists Racists - Comedians Do Political Media's Job Again

I their unique hilarious ways, Steven Colbert and Seth Meyers rake over neo- fascist loon and racist conspiracy monger Donald "Rump" Trump's long history of "birtherism" and his recent "ending of the controversy."  Unlike many who cower at the thought, both Colbert and Meyers aren't afraid to call Trump (and in Meyer's case Trump surrogate Chris "Cartoon Gangster" Christie) a LIAR.  Meyers also does a nice job of showing that Trump and other Republicans were playing to their racist base throughout the Obama presidency.  Good stuff:





BONUS:  Samantha Bee gives the nitwit media holy hell for the way they've slavered over Trump.

A Brit Has A Question For Chris Christie

New Jerksey Governor and man with his own zip code Chris "Krispycreme" Christie is on a resume-padding but largely (heh) ignored trip to Great Britain, where the locals can't quite place the name, but have a related question:

“I’ve vaguely heard of him,” said Michael Rabbett, 67, as he sipped red wine from a plastic cup (“wine beer,” he noted). He paused to let the name roll around in his head. 

“He’s in the background of my head. But not really,” he concluded. 

Alerted to Mr. Christie’s reputation for voluble candor as well as his party affiliation, Mr. Rabbett asked his own question. “Has he told that lady from Alaska to shut up?” 

No, he was informed. Mr. Christie had not tried to silence the former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. “Well why not?” he inquired.  (our emphasis)

God bless Great Britain!

In light of the current measles outbreak, it's also noted that Krispycreme was asked about vaccination and responded that (the overwhelming scientific evidence in favor of) vaccination should be "balanced" by the parental right to choose not to vaccinate their children.  As should, we presume, the issue of blood letting with leeches vs. not.  What a jackass.

UPDATE:  This self-certified nitwit ophthalmologist is even more of a jackass.  Surprise.

(h/t New York Times, via No More Mister Nice Blog)

Headlines We Wish We'd Written

"New Jersey's Christie casts shadow over Iowa, 2012"

-- Associated Press on-line, July 24. Yeah, we bet it covered the entire state!

Screen Shot of the Day -- Wide Angle Edition

"TILT!!!"

(NJ Rethug Gov. Chris "Twinkies Are Our Friends" Christie on the "Fox and Fiends" nitwit show - via "Bill D.", Wonkette)

Tunnel Vision

On Thursday, New Jersey Rethug Gov. Chris Christie canceled the largest public works project in the nation, the rail tunnel under the Hudson River to New York City. After a firestorm of criticism, He's now reconsidering the decision. Paul Krugman has a great take on Christie's move, and what it represents about the current political climate.

(Image: He needs to tighten his own belt before he cancels any more projects)

Getting Ready To Stick A Fork In Him *

There is growing evidence that the Rethuglican candidate for Governor of New Jersey, Chris "Jumbo" Christie has peaked and will likely lose the upcoming election to incumbent Dem Gov. Jon Corzine. Rethuglican National Committee Chairclown Tin Man Steele has put the resources of his organization behind Jumbo, but Jumbo has no message beyond "don't vote for the other guy." Tin Man's involvement in political races seems to be the new "kiss of death."
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*but be prepared to run like hell if you do; there's a lot of gas in there.

(photo: "I'll have three hot dogs extra mustard and ketchup. Extra fries, and a double chocolate shake, too")