From the Rethug Crime Blotter...

Troglodyte Justice Antonin Scalia's daughter, Ann Scalia Banaszewski, was convicted of driving under the influence yesterday in Illinois. Ms. B. had 3 of her children in the car when she was stopped on February 14, 2007. Remember that the next time the Rethugs bring up Kennedy tippling.

Foghorn Leghorn to Join Rethug Field

Former Senator and "Law and Order" potted plant Fred "Foghorn" Thompson is all but in the race for the Rebunglecan presidential nomination. He'll be joining the Three Stooges (a.k.a. Rudy McRomney) and the Seven Dwarfs. Thompson, who makes the likes of Tweety swoon because of the manliness of his "deep voice," yearns to have comparisons drawn with former actor/President Reagan. As a Senator, Thompson was barely there, never authoring a single piece of significant legislation while, we think, longing to get back to the bit movie roles that made him a local celebrity in Tennessee and gave him juice with the chicks.

When he starts campaigning, look for Foghorn to ditch the $1,000 suits and limosine and dust off his "populist" props -- the plaid shirt (the same favored by fellow millionaire Tennessee Rethug Lamar Alexander), and the red pickup truck. Ah say, ah say, that there Fred is a man of the people!

Is It Wise to Be So Smart Ass?

Reading WaPo's resident smart-ass Dana Milbank's column today re Al Gore ("Is It Wise to Be So Smart?"), one can only conclude that Milbank is indeed someone so enamored of his own precious "wit" that he is unable to look at a serious person in a serious way. Milbank spends his column dissecting Gore's supposed pendantry, essentially advising that if Gore were to run for President he dumb-down his act. Simply put, Milbank is one of those chronic Washington salon lizards who, among others, in the 2000 election took great glee in faulting Gore's tendency to want to raise the level of political discourse, rather than praising it as a virtue; Milbank and his fellow cosmo-sippers mocked him as someone you wouldn't want to have a beer with -- unlike his opponent, George "Commander Guy" Bush, who knew plenty about beer and not much else. Well, how did that work out for us Dana? Keep at it and our next Preznit will be another fact-phobic, evolution-denying knuckle-dragger. Then you'll have accomplished your objective: a Preznit you can feel superior to!

Yeah, But We've Painted A Couple of Hundred Schools

The report from Mosul, Iraq in the NY Times today indicates some ethnic cleansing in the supposedly calm northern Iraq. Apparently, Mosul, Iraq's third largest city, has been virtually cleared of its Kurdish inhabitants by Sunni Arabs. This fits a pattern of establishing sectarian-based territories that will eventually go their own ways, a far different picture from a "democratic" unified Iraq as a goal that is being sold to us by the Bushies.

Wolfie for Mayor!

It's nice to know that the Rethuglicans look after their own. Congressman Walter Jones has suggested that Paul "Socks" Wolfowitz be appointed as a mayor in Iraq, now that he's looking for work. What better way to recognize Socks' contribution as an architect of the Iraq war than to let him help "fix" the problems there? He could roam the streets of Baghdad and reassure the citizens that the surge is working, while ducking live fire. Or confront the Mahdi army with his steely gaze before they blindfold him. Or establish the Iraqi Likud Party, along with Richard Perle. Or shack up with another A-rab lady, now that he and his old girlfriend, Shaha "Ha Ha" Riza, have split. Wolfie for Mayor! That's the ticket!

Roll Out The Barrel

News item: "An e-mail was sent out Saturday [May 26] by the College Republicans of Northwestern University, informing club members that they 'decided to cancel the end-of-year BBQ because we only had two people RSVP.'"

The good news is that the two that RSVPed later had their own party anyway (photo). Their clubmates must have been at the Army recruiting office enlisting in their Preznit's war.

Memorial Day 2007

To all those who have served our country in time of war, we honor you today and every day, especially, our late father William, uncle George, and cousin Dale, and our uncle Richard. We love you and hold you dear in our hearts.

Recycling Bin

The Daily Howler's report on one of the new books out on Hillary Clinton is right on target. The disreputable team of Van Natta and Gerth have individually indulged in political porn about the Clintons before, and there's nothing new here but the same questionable information and innuendo. The mainstream media will no doubt recycle it endlessly (any bets that Tweety Matthews will be cackling about it tonight?). Strange how with all of the oddballs among the Rethug candidates that the MSM keeps obsessing on the Clintons. Must be that they don't like Presidents who play with the truth. . .oh wait, then they'd be after Chimpy, too. Never mind.

UPDATE: As expected, Tweety was rolling around getting himself dirty in the new books on Hillary. You can tell when he's "excited" because the drool starts flowing.

Putting the "Vice" in Vice President

Steve Clemons' account of Dirty Dick Cheney's manueverings to provoke hostilities against Iran is chilling. Aligned on one side, favoring diplomacy, are Secretaries Rice and Gates, CIA Director Hayden, and Dep. Sec. of State Negroponte. On the side of attacking Iran are Cheney and his neocon acolytes. The disturbing element of the story is that Cheney is deliberately narrowing the choices being presented to the Presidunce to steer him toward war, because he's lost confidence in Bush to make the "right" decisions (no surprise there). A former intelligence official calls this undermining of the diplomatic initiative by Cheney potentially "criminal insubordination" (no surprise there, either, coming from the crew that cooked up the rationale for attacking Iraq).
He and Johnny Walnuts will be singing "Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran" together any day now.

Unfortunately, Cows Don't Fly

During the Preznit's news conference today, a little birdie pooped on the Commander Guy's sleeve. That's one discerning sparrow!

Meanwhile, in Pakistan . . .

It may not be time for deep concern yet, but things in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan are not looking good. From the Pakistani government's decision last year to pull out of the Northwest frontier which is overrun with Taliban and al Qaeda, to recent demonstrations against Musharraf's regime, Pakistan should be on the Preznit's radar by now. If he thinks Iran poses a problem, consider that Pakistan is turning more Islamist by the day - - and they have nukes.

The Best and the Brightest?

Watching Monica "Not" Goodling's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee this morning reminds one of Alice in Wonderland. How she became one of the most influential people in the Justice Department with her lack of experience and questionable academic background (Pat Robertson's "Regent University") is a testiment to this Assministration's ineptitude. The WaPo's Andrew Cohen has more questions.

Missing in (In) Action

The Washington Monthly has a report from Juan Cole that the leadership of Iraq has largely taken a powder: al Hakim is in Iran for chemotherapy, Talabani is in the U.S. for treatment of obesity (snark), and al Sadr is in hiding, fearing for his life.
Meanwhile, Presidunce Bush is in Crawford clearing underbrush. For the cameras.

Like Father, Like Daughters

The Bush twins are back together in town, as the WaPo reports today. What better time to suggest that they stoll a couple of blocks from the White House to the Armed Forces Recruiting Office at 1099 14th St. NW to show their support for their daddy's noble war? Surely, they believe that the sacrifice should be shared equally, like their daddy did during the Vietnam war.

Slow Learner

Like a slow learner, the Bush Assministration is absorbing the lessons of its exclusionary approach to the Middle East, and is moving toward talks with Iran next month. Perhaps the child king has been convinced that stonewalling Iraq's neighbors is frustrating his failed war "strategery." More likely, the neighbors in the region that we talk to - Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, etc. - have sent the Presidunce the message that it's long past time to engage with the regimes in Iran and Syria, despite the off-stage urgings of the neocon "braintrust" to stiff them.

The Baker-Hamilton study group's recommendations had been shelved for months, since the child king was unwilling to admit his plan was going nowhere fast, and that he needed help from his daddy's advisors. Now, in desperation, he's grasping for something - anything - that might hold promise for a face saving "cut and run."