A Pearce-ing Intellect

From Rethuglican Rep. Steve Pearce (Kook-NM), at the Western Republican Conference in Nevada last week:

“We got kooks running Washington, basically. Kooks are in charge of our government. You all can recognize a kook, but the media seems to not understand. Around two years ago, some guy in New Mexico claimed he was the messiah. And the press couldn’t figure it out. I’m sorry, but the answer to that is real simple. You take them five miles off the coast and let ‘em out. If he walks home, you think about it. If he sinks to the bottom, then he probably wasn’t the messiah. But we’ve got people like that in Washington running our agencies.

People are declaring that we descended from apes. Now, I know that’s not true. The argument that we descended from sheep is still an open question. But the ape idea is completely out of line.”

"...Kooks are in charge of our government." With the Rethugs in control of the House of Representatives, that's the only part of this moron's statement that's true. Welcome to the "modern" Rethuglican/ New Confederate/ Kook party!

Krugman on the "Anti-Knowledge" Party

Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman on the state of the Rethuglican Party, the "anti-science," "anti-knowledge" party:

"Within the G.O.P, willful ignorance has become a litmus test for candidates..."

Why? Because, as any reader of this blog should know, willful ignorance defines the teatard, Rethuglican base.

A Modest Proposal

In today's Kaplan Daily, there's an interesting article about the antipathy of many in the fine State of Oklahoma toward federal spending. The feeling is summed up by lawyer John Hager, who says "I'm not sure what they [the feds] do has a big impact on my life." The article goes on to present a few facts about the relationship between the federal government and Oklahoma:

-- Oklahoma gets back $1.35 for every $1 its residents and businesses pay in Federal taxes;

-- 7% of the Oklahoma City region's workers are federal employees (more than double the national average), and Federal spending on highways, an FAA center and Tinker Air Force Base employs 20,000 civilians, pumping millions into the prosperous Oklahoma economy;

-- Oklahoma is the most Republican state in the Union (Obama didn't carry a single county), with Rethugs holding 70% of the State's legislative seats.

With all this in mind, and the fervent desire of teabaggers and small gummint ideologues everywhere to defund the federal government, Hackwhackers proposes that we start with Oklahoma: the rugged individuals who go about their lives in blissful ignorance of the benefits they take advantage of while simultaneously railing against federal spending should be the first to step forward as the patriots they (think they) are and take an immediate cut in federal spending, to bring their 1:1.35 tax/spend ratio into perfect balance. How about it Oklahomans?

(Image: Two of the many boobs residing in Oklahoma)

Turkey Leftovers

To our American audience, we hope you all had a great Thanksgiving with your family, with lots of turkey and all the trimmings. [Pardon the obvious segue here -->] Hey, speaking of turkeys...

-- In today's Kaplan Daily, asshat Michael "Mushroom Cloud" Gerson, former Dumbya speechwriter, makes another laughable attempt at polemical ju-jitsu, claiming progressive policies have failed in the past 2 years. To the limited extent progressive policies have been enacted by the fearful marginalists in Congress, is he referring to the stimulus that kept us from Great Depression II, or the GM/Chrysler bailout that appears to have re-energized the auto industry -- all with little or no Rethug support? Or perhaps he's referring to TARP (enacted under Dumbya) that stabilized the financial sector, or to health reform, which will insure 30 million uninsured Americans and drive down the deficit over the next decade? Yes, you make a solid, sane argument, Mushroom Cloud.

-- In a radio interview with Professor Glenn "Boo Hoo the Hoot" Beck, noted historian and geopolitical scholar Sarah "Wasilla Quitta" Palin boldly recommends that the U.S. stand with its "North Korean allies." By all means! And we need to keep our troops in Iran and Albertastan, Mr. Obama! UPDATE: The thin-skinned half-wit fires back!

Winky Wants Fed to Stop Buying T-Bills

Noted monetary policy expert and reality show star Winky You Betcha has some unsolicited advice for Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke: stop trying to stimulate the economy! Celebrity nincompoop Sarah Palin's actual message was for the Fed to "cease and desist" from its purchase of $900 billion in treasury bills, which is intended to ...um, stimulate the economy. Winky wouldn't want that to happen, particularly with a Democrat in the White House! We wonder where Palin got her monetary policy smarts: was it from one of the six colleges she attended, or did she get a degree in economics this weekend from Beck U.?

In her quest to stop the recovery in its tracks, she has the support of one powerful ally: China. Why does Winky hate America?

(Photo: Prof. Winky You Betcha can see China with one eye closed)

Is That Shelby or Smell Me?

Reactionary Rethug Sen. Richard "Smell Me" Shelby (Confederate-AL) has been doing his small part to help the Rethugs gum up the gears of government, and then blame Democrats when things don't work. One of the wrenches Smell Me has thrown into the gears is his hold on the nomination of Peter Diamond to be a member of the Federal Reserve Board. Smell Me's objection? Why, Diamond lacks the qualifications! That would be the same Peter Diamond who just won the Nobel Prize for Economics.

(Photo: "Nobel Prize? Why - ain't he got a bell?")

Of Useful Idiots... and Just Plain Idiots

We have two articles to recommend for your Sunday morning edification:

Dana Milbank on Perfesser "Boo Hoot the Hoot" Beck's manufacturing "history" to conform to his crackpot worldview; * and

Frank Rich on Christine "No Dildos" O'Donnell's role as useful idiot to establishment Rethuglicans and their billionaire backers.

(Question to Hackwhackers readers: Is it just us or do you feel like you lose a few million brain cells as a result of reading about the Becks and O'Donnells of the world?)

*UPDATE: You must see this Glenn Beck meets Donald Duck cartoon before it disappears off the internet tubes!! Laff riot! (via Yglesias)

Monkey See, Monkey No See

Wherein teatard Rethug candidate Christine O'Donnell weighs in on evolution:


We didn't see her evolution from a cretin to an idiot either.

Witchy Woman

Rethug Senatorial candidate, Teatard and "Values Voter" fave Christine "No Dildos" O'Donnell (Teatard-DE) apparently dated a witch and dabbled in witchcraft herself. The airheaded O'Donnell made the admission in a Bill Maher "Real Time" show some years ago. Turns out there may be many more gems hidden in the couple dozen or so appearances O'Donnell made on the Maher show in the past. We say, start rolling the videos!

(Photo: Eeek! She saw her image in a mirror!)

The Headless Governor

Arizona Gov. Jan "Papers Please" Brewer has finally had to disavow her earlier errant comments about headless bodies appearing in the Arizona desert. She now says she "misspoke." And this dimbulb is still ahead in the polls against Democrat Terry Goddard. Shame.

Quality Will Out

As a public service, Hackwhackers (via Wonkette) would like to demonstrate the quality of Rethuglican candidates for office in just two states:

Arizona governor (Jan "Papers Please" Brewer); and

Colorado governor (tea bagger Dan "Secret Agent Man" Maes).

Question: Which one has a brain fart, and which one is a brain fart?
(Answer: Both have/are!!)

More Dumbs

It's becoming more and more clear that the Rethugs are the Party of Know Nothing. The latest proof is a Newsweek poll showing that half of Rethugs suspect Obama wants to impose (Islamic) Sharia law in America. To believe that, it's necessary that your I.Q. be no higher than that of a cantaloupe. To think that this knuckle-dragging crowd will be flocking to the polls to elect the "Young Dumbs" and other know-nothings is beyond maddening. Well done, Faux News Nutwork and hate radio! Well done, despicable Rethug officeholders! Well done, "mainstream media" for allowing these toxic memes to fester. Well done, White House and Democratic Party for not pushing back - make that punching back - at this ongoing insanity coming from the other side.

The Shizzle Embarks on a Campaign Tour

RNC chairclown Michael "The Shizzle" Steele has packed his bags and is journeying to the vote-rich destination of (wait for it)... Guam! Given The Shizzle's mad managerial and political skillz, Hackwhackers has learned that, following Guam, The Shizzle's itinerary is fully booked until after the November election. Next stops: New Guinea, The Seychelles, Botswana, Timbuktu, Patagonia, Spitsbergen, and Barrow, Alaska.

(Photo: The Shizzle in "native Guam tribal paint" -- or so his staff told him.)