Quote of the Day: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Dolt Edition

“My father hit me with a belt, I turned out okay!”  -- Ha-ha, no.  Fox "News" dimbulb Sean "Heil" Hannity, commenting favorably (along with fellow dimbulb Michelle Malkin) on Rutgers University basketball coach Mike Rice, who was fired after video of him hitting players and using homophobic slurs gained wide circulation.

UPDATE:  Here's how Jon Stewart reacted:

"STEWART: Anyway, coming up next, I shout at people I disagree with for an hour. Seriously? You’re okay? Have you seen your show? Because it seems like the show of a guy who was hit with a belt as a child. " (our emphasis)

Ms. Braun Speaks

The Daily Beast's Lloyd Grove has a piece on wingnut harpy Michelle "Stalkin'" Malkin and her latest shitload screed on the awful, corrupt, no-good regime of B. Hussein Omuslin. Unfortunately, the piece isn't as satisfying as it should be, because Grove doesn't rip her a new one. (C'mon Lloyd!)

But, Stalkin' does have a few choice quotes in the piece: "I'm a human being." (Yeah, we'll just wait for the DNA tests to verify that one, "lady.")

"I've been called a Jap, Chink, Gook, Dog-eater." (By your right-wing brethren, of course, dimbulb)

She also discusses the paranoia that led her to move her family from Germantown, MD, to an "undisclosed location" in Colorado. We can attest to Stalkin's paranoia. True story: several years ago, on a trip to the Germantown post office, we were in line to drop some letters in the drive-by mail box. Who was in the silver Benz (or maybe Lexus?) a few cars ahead? None other than the "Eva Braun of Oberlin" (as she was known - must mean her fellow Oberliner, hubby Jesse, is... Hitl... um... B. Hussein Omuslin!). Noticing that I recognized her (and, no, I did not give her the one-fingered salute), she took "evasive action" after leaving the parking lot. Had I been a professional hit man, her laughable attempt to "throw me off the scent" would have resulted in her being dropped about 30 seconds later than she otherwise would have been cast into Hell. As it was, I saw her pulling sheepishly out of a side street and peeling around a corner on two wheels as I proceeded on my way, thinking "Bitch has delusions of importance!"

(Photo: Hey! No stalkin' Stalkin' !!!)

Oh No, Not You Again

Follow up stories on the economic situation of "Joe the Plumber" have noted that he's not a licensed plumber, he makes around $40,000 per year - - not $250,000 - - and he voted Republican in last spring's Ohio primaries. Far right bloggers, in particular the unhinged Michelle "Stalkin'" Malkin, are crying foul that their fictional "average plumber" turns out to have a different story than the one that McAngry was telling.

Having Stalkin' Malkin indignantly lecture reporters about prying into the personal life of a private citizen is one of the all-time great examples of hypocrisy. The New Republic's Jonathan Cohn recalls Malkin's literally stalking the family of 12 year-old Graeme Frost last year during the debate on expanding the children's health insurance program. Far right bloggers were especially vicious and dishonest about the Frost family's situation, as the media later reported.

But now, when it comes to some truth telling about someone they've served up in a political context, they're waving their little pitchforks in phony "outrage". And Stalkin' Malkin is leading the hypocrites' parade.

Absolut-ly Hilarious

John Cole at Balloon Juice has a great take on Michelle "Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage" Malkin's campaign against an Absolut Vodka ad running in Mexico. The ad, which shows a map with Mexico incorporating Texas, California and most of the west and southwest U.S, has prompted outrage among Our Lady's army of dim, chairbound Cheeto-eaters. They've bombarded the Absolut ad's creator with nasty emails, which he's been . . . .deleting without opening. Excuse us for a second. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

OK, while we understand that Our Lady views the ad as a major assault on our national sovereignty, her call to battlestations may have been a bit of an overreaction, you think? Besides, it's not a major assault on our national sovereignty until Lou "Meskin Menace" Dobbs says it is.

Stalkin' Malkin Still Walkin', Talkin'

Sadly No is reporting the latest from our favorite wingnut crackpot stalker and her next S-CHIP target: 2-year-old Bethany Wilkerson. The Carpetbagger Report has some info about the Wilkersons that would make it difficult for Malkin, Limpballs and the rest of the Rethug water carriers to smear the family, not that they won't give it their best shit... er, shot. If she keeps this up, even Fux "News" might be forced to "resign" her from their rats nest.. er, network. Or not. (Man, I'm having a hard time hitting the right keys this morning!)

Stalkin' Malkin Walkin'

Rabid wingnut stalker/talker Michelle Malkin is reported to be leaving Fux Network's O'Reilly Factor shriek-fest, allegedly over a verbal spat with Geraldo "Capone's Treasure" Rivera over the immigration issue a few weeks ago. However, Fox's corporate heavyweights appear to be unhappy with Malkin's bizarre stalking of 12 year old Graeme Frost, who delivered the Democratic response to the Decider's veto of children's health insurance legislation. Enraged, Malkin drove past the Frost home in Baltimore, interviewed neighbors and acquaintences of the Frosts, published false information on her website, and generally tried to dig up, pass along (or manufacture) whatever dirt she could. But, while she's gone from "O'Liely", Malkin will certainly turn up on other Fux gigs. They can't help themselves.