Slammer Time

Two items hot off the police blotter this afternoon:

Well, Heiress Paris is going back to jail to serve the remainder of her sentence for probation violation. This follows a tsunami of outrage that washed across the nation after yesterday's decision by the LA County Sheriff to release Heiress Paris after serving only 5 (though we only counted 3) days of confinement. (Does this mean they have to give her another cavity search? Ouch!) At the hearing today, she cried and screamed "It's not right! Mom!" as the sentence was reimposed on her clueless, privileged heinie.

Also, Italia Federici, the head of a Rethug "environmental advocacy group" (an oxymoron if there ever was one), pleaded guilty to tax evasion and obstructing a Senate inquiry on her role as a bag lady between Jack Abramoff and J. Steven Griles, former Deputy Interior Secretary in the Bush Assministration. It is fondly hoped that Ms. Federici, who was also Mr. Griles' paramour, will sing long and loud in the period between now and her expected sentencing date in the fall, and we'll see more Rethugs doing slammer time.

Bindar Bin On The Take

A news report in the WaPo this morning indicates that Saudi Prince Bindar bin Sultan collected an estimated $2 billion in secret payments over 10 years, as part of a $80 billion arms deal between arms conglomerate BAE and the Saudi government. The oily prince is a close personal friend of the Bush family, and was instrumental in shepherding the bin Laden family out of the U.S. immediately after 9/11, despite all aircraft being grounded. Would anyone really be surprised if some of the payoff eventually found its way into Bush or Rethuglican coffers? Or supporting Islamist madrassas around the globe?

Down The Tubes, Ted?

Bad news for Senate internet expert Senator Ted "Tubes" Stevens (Rethug.-Porkland). He's acknowledging that the FBI has asked him to retain his records as part of an investigation into bribery and corruption involving his son and others in Alaska. Looks like some big bucks may have changed hands for favorable energy legislation, etc. Why is it that the senior Rethugs (Stevens, Duke Cunningham, and "Sneaky Pete" Domenici, to name a few) seem to think that they're above ethics and the law? Arrogance, contempt for government, and greed.

If "Tubes" is forced to do a stretch in the pokey, he can always assist fellow prisoners in mastering the internet tubes.

(Ed. note: If and when "Tubes" is sentenced to jail time, his lawyer should file a motion to have him serve his time at the LA Regional Detention Facility, where it's rumored the Sheriff goes easy on celebs.)

Heiress Paris Sprung

Heiress Paris Hilton was sprung from an LA County regional detention facility (a.k.a. jail) this morning due to an unspecified medical problem. She had spent a total of five days at the jail, and will serve out the remainder of her sentence confined to the Hilton estate. Heiress Paris will be fitted with an electronic monitoring bracelet during her confinement (it's not known at this time whether she'll retrofit her bracelet with diamonds or emeralds).

It's already being speculated that the unspecified medical problem has to do with either having had to sleep on a lumpy mattress or with Heiress Paris' difficulties in doing without alcohol and blow for nearly a week. In any case it must have been something really serious, because when she was sentenced on May 4, the judge ruled that she would not be allowed any work release, furloughs or use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. Ahem...nevermind!

"Take Deep Breaths, Vladimir!"

Preznit Moe is frantically trying to calm everyone's nerves about his "missile defense plan," which would deploy missiles along the Polish and Czech borders, ostensibly as a deterrent to rogue (Iran) states threatening Western Europe. On Wednesday, he told reporters that the plan is "not something we should hyperventilate about," thus trivializing Russian concerns about the placement of a system that looks more like it's aimed at deterring Russia than Iran. President Putin has already called out this rationale as "ludicrous."

At the same time, Moe is being criticized for his curious timing in (rightly) criticizing Russia, on the eve of the G8 summit, for derailing its democratic reforms. Moe & Co. have been quiet for years about the disturbing trends in Russia, only speaking up about an abuse when it wasn't possible to stay quiet. But to raise the issue just when tensions with Russia are peaking over the proposed missile defense plan demonstrates once again the tin ear and myopic vision of what passes for diplomacy in Moe's Assministration. One can also point out, as we expect President Putin has, that Moe doesn't occupy the moral high ground when lecturing Russia, given Gitmo, Abu Ghraib, warrantless wiretapping and the suspension of habeus corpus. Well played, Preznit Moe! Nyuk, nyuk!

Man Crushes

Digby has an amusing piece today on the drooling, swooning, and loss of other precious bodily fluids over some of the Rethug presidential candidates. Tweety's love of Fred "Foghorn" Thompson's manly manliness has already been documented. Seems Roger Simon has one on Willard "Mousse" Romney now. Not to mention Ann Althouse's (though she's technically a woman, we hear) continuing lubricity over Rudy. All this coming from the same genus of hyenas that love to mock John Edwards' looks.

Lying Bastard

While the compelling and official evidence says that there was no link between Iraq and 9/11, the despicable Dick "F**k Off" Cheney continues to lie about it. To high school students! Of course, this fabrication was one of the ones that Cheney used in manipulating public opinion after 9/11 and before the invasion of Iraq. The Senate Intelligence Report debunked this lie, yet Cheney persists. But then, we shouldn't be surprised that this deceitful and sinister clown has no shame or remorse for a bogus policy that's resulted in the deaths of many thousands.

(Related: Cheney aide Scooter Libby has been sentenced to 30 months in prison and a $250,000 fine. Good. This shows the price people pay for loyalty to a cheap liar like our Mr. Cheney.)

Jefferson Indicted

We would be remiss if we didn't note that Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) was indicted yesterday on 16 counts of bribery and other charges. Jefferson, who successfully ran for reelection in 2006 despite the cloud of a criminal probe and vigorous Democratic party opposition, had been the subject of a long FBI investigation that broke with the discovery of $90,000 in marked cash in Jefferson's freezer 2 years ago. Although he is yet to face trial, the evidence (including a videotape of Jefferson taking a bribe) seems compelling.

As much as the Rebunglecans have tried to corner the market on corruption and hypocrisy in the past, Jefferson is an unfortunate reminder that shady characters come in all races, religions and political persuasions.

Robert Kagan's Vision

It's been a day now, but getting neocon war whore Robert Kagan's Sunday op-ed excretion washed off takes time and effort. From his comfy office at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace (wha?), Kagan surveyed the Iraq landscape from far away and discerned that it's al Qaeda that's causing all the problems, not the sectarian camps themselves. Therefore, we should stay the course with the surge and beyond, and not give in to the Islamofacisto terrists (who wouldn't even be a factor in Iraq had we not invaded it at the urging of neocons like Kagan). Then the same day, seeming to spoil Kagan's insights, along comes a report from Terry McCarthy in Baghdad that says,

"Sunni insurgents have been blowing up Shiite shrines, and Shiite militiamen have responded by attacking Sunnis leaving mosques."

No mention of al Qaeda in the entire report. Not. A. Word. But then, McCarthy's actually there in Iraq, and can't see the forest for the trees. Kagan sees the "big picture" of course, and isn't restrained by such bothersome things as details, and, you know, facts. He also has a war to promote and justify, from a distance of course. (Photo: Kagan researching his next op-ed piece)

Re-Branding

The Rebunglecans may be taking a short break in their ongoing efforts to "brand" the American public, in the manner depicted in this illustration. It appears, as reported in the June 1 WaPo and in DWT, that the Rethugs think new "branding" for the somewhat tarnished Rebunglecan nameplate is just what's needed to bring America back to its senses. Well, they need look no further than our April blogging, "What is a Republican" and "Who is a Republican" to find plenty of fertile ground for this Truth in Advertising effort. In fact, we think so much of the efforts of Rep. "Man Tan" Boner and his point man, Rep. John "Not Jimmy, Dammit" Carter, that we sent Carter copies of these postings to help stimulate the creative process. We patiently await his thanks.

Tweety Wuvs Ronnie Lite

If we had a dollar for every time Tweety Matthews and his "amen corner" friends on Hardball praised Fred "Ronnie Lite" Thompson, we could buy MSNBC. Media Matters has a thorough wrap-up on the phenomenon of Thompson's annointment by the media as "folksy" and "authentic", with Tweety being one of the former one-term Senator's foremost butt boys. This always produces a mirthfull hour of swooning and idol worship. Tweety should consider renaming his show "Whiffleball" when it comes to "Ronnie Lite." Thompson couldn't have better ads if he wrote them himself.

Gas Price Musings

We can't help but take note that every time the public's attention is diverted for a while (thank you? Anna Nicole and Paris), gas prices take an upward spiral - and that the spiral levels off mysteriously as soon as previously distracted Joe Sixpack contacts his Congressman and hearings are scheduled. Amid much chin music about "refinery capacity" and OPEC production that the MSM happily pass along without a critique, Big Oil continues to pile up the record profits. Hmmm... let me put in a fact-checking call to this oil industry PR firm, Dewey, Cheatham and Howe (apologies to the Three Stooges - no, not Rudy McRomney, the original Three Stooges).

Mr. Milbank, Meet Mr. Robinson

It's probably not a coincidence that Eugene Robinson's WaPo column today (no link) rebutted Dana Milbank's recent snarky Al Gore piece "Is It Wise to Be Smart?" Eugene, please tell Dana to stick with the Bush Follies. It's a much more entertaining and appropriate subject for serious journalists.

Message: Screw Your Sacrifice

Item in the WaPo's Reliable Source (no link): Elaine Johnson, who lost a son in Iraq in November 2003 said yesterday that she met with Presidunce Bush in Ft. Carson, CO a month after her son's death. There, Bush presented a presidential coin to families who lost soldiers in Iraq. When presenting the coin, the idiot prince is reported to have said,

"Don't go sell it on eBay."

Such class and awareness in one man. Such empathy with the families who lost family members in a war that he initiated for bogus reasons against a country that had no connection to 9/11. Wonder if he had his insipid smirk on his face when he said that?

From the Rethug Crime Blotter...

Troglodyte Justice Antonin Scalia's daughter, Ann Scalia Banaszewski, was convicted of driving under the influence yesterday in Illinois. Ms. B. had 3 of her children in the car when she was stopped on February 14, 2007. Remember that the next time the Rethugs bring up Kennedy tippling.