Dumbass Headline of the Day

Courtesy CNN.com: "Is It Obama's Economy Yet?"

Answer: No, dumbasses. It took Dumbya and the Rethug Congress years to screw the economy up. It will take more than 47 days of the Obama Presidency to clean it up. But thanks for the thought.

Party of No

Watch this 30 second ad that Americans United for Change are running in a number of media markets. Rethuglican politicians have become a national joke. (Bonus points awarded because they used the French "Can Can" song as the background!)

Worth Noting

1. Frank Schaeffer takes the Rethuglicans to the woodshed and whips them good for their obstructionism and blind partisanship in a stinging Huffington Post article. Schaeffer, a former Rethug himself, was part of the religious right movement, which his evangelical parents helped to create, until he saw the damage it was doing to the country. He spares no words in describing the Rethug political establishment as treasonous and corrupt:

"You Republicans were the arsonists who burned down our national home. . .you do nothing constructive, just try to hinder the one person willing and able to fix the mess you created."

A good read on a Monday morning.

2. David Frum, a conservative former speechwriter for Dumbya, levels a barrage in Newsweek against the current Rethuglican Dear Leader, Pills Limpballs. Frum believes that the far right direction the current Rethuglican Party is heading in will result in the Party's marginalization. We can only hope.

Hackwhackers a la King

(Without apologies to Larry King)

Ever notice how Cokie Roberts has nothing original to say? She's the longest-running Villager on Sunday morning "news programs."

And George Steponaflagpinopolous? I think he sits next to George Will so he doesn't have to throw his softballs that far. Also, I think he likes to have his nose as close to Will's crack as possible.

Speaking of cracks, grilled cheese sandwiches give me gas.

Grilled cheese sandwiches made with pepper jack cheese give me molten gas.

I've got ten bucks that says Tin Man Steele will father a child by Missy McConnell this year. Any takers?

Mickey Rourke has cooties, I'm told.

A tip of my hat to my recently departed pal, Paul Harvey. He was Rush Limpballs before it was cool.

Can someone get me some of whatever it is Glenn Beck is taking these days? That's some powerful stuff!

CNBC is the Larry King of financial news networks. Great, meaty content (and that's just what's between the ears of Larry Kudlow, Rick Santelli and Jim Cramer!).

That just about wraps it up! Got that pepper jack grilled cheese ready, hon?

Some Unhealthy Talk

We hate to keep blogging about Rethuglican Party Dear Leader Rush "Pills" Limpballs, but. . .

The pill-popping demagogue said on his hate radio show yesterday that "before it's over, it'll be called the Ted Kennedy Memorial Health Care Bill," referring to Kennedy's malignant brain cancer. Careful, Pills, you don't look like the model of health and fitness yourself. In fact, you look like you're one pastrami sandwich away from "the big one." And more jumping around like you did at the CPAC poo fest won't peel those excess tons away.

(photo: Mr. Rethuglican)

Doom and Hilarity

In case you missed it, Stephen Colbert's hilarious "Doom Bunker" segment, an antidote to the unhinged Glenn Beck's idiotic "War Room" on (what else) Fux News.

A Wee Willie Vs. Pills Smackdown?

William "Wee Willie" Kristol, the neocon editor of the Weekly Standard, seems to be throwing down the gauntlet to Rethuglican Dear Leader Rush "Pills" Limpballs in an interview with "Fox and Friends." "Look, Americans wish a new President well. They hope his policies succeed, as they should," Wee Willie opined, in direct opposition to the orders of the Dear Leader that every Rethug should want Obama to fail. Shocking!!

How long will it take for Wee Willie to renounce his heresy, and beg Dear Leader Limpballs' forgiveness, but only after receiving the obligatory pie in the face? Only time will tell. Tick, tick, tick. . . .

Jon Stewart Reams CNBC

In case you missed last night's "Daily Show," here's Huff Po's take, with video. Masterfully done, sir!

The more the Rethug pin-striped yakkers on CNBC and Fox Bidness channels try to derail the Obama economic agenda, the hotter the place in Hell will be for them to toast their weenies.

"Minority Leader Limbaugh"

(Hackwhackers continues to pile on Limpballs! And why not? He's such a soft, marshmallowy target.)

For a fine analysis of the phenomenon that is Rush "Pills" Limpballs, David Plouffe has a great broadside in today's WaPo. Indeed, as Plouffe says, by following Dear Leader Rush with his strategy of hoping for failure, the Rethugs "may find out what it means for a political party to hit rock bottom." (Aside: They haven't already??)

Department of Unintentional Humor

The WaPo reports that President Obama plans to name John Berry*, Director of the National Zoo, as the new Office of Personnel Management director. (OPM oversees Federal personnel policies and resources).

Don't feed the animals!
_______
* John Berry actually has a distinguished record, including serving as Assistant Secretary of the Treasury. . .where he was a busy beaver.

So Sorry, Dear Leader

Those wags at the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee have the perfect solution for Rethug politicians who risk offending Dear Leader Limpballs: a flexible form letter of apology! Check it out.

Quote of the Day

"One thing we can all do is stop assuming that the way to beat [the Democrats] is with better policy ideas." -- Rethuglican Party leader Rush "Pills" Limpballs, pontificating to the wingnut weenies assembled last weekend in DC. Limpballs is determined to take the Rethuglican Party even further to the right, and on that extreme fringe, ideas don't matter, only thuggery.

BONUS: Best headline on the Tin Man's groveling to Limpballs, Wonkette's "Rush Limbaugh Has Balls Of Steele." BWAHAHAHAHA!

Rethug Throwdown: Tin Man Vs. Limpballs

There's dissention in the right-wing Rethug ranks today: Rethuglican National Committee chair Michael "Tin Man" Steele says that he's the head of the Rethuglican Party, and not Rush "Pills" Limpballs. Tin Man, speaking on D.L. Hughley's program, called Limpballs an "entertainer" and said the his hate radio program was "incendiary" and "ugly."

All riiight!! A Rethug Throwdown! In one corner, the official head of the GOP, a phony "Oreo" that will say anything and do anything to advance himself, and in the other corner, a pill-popping, pig-like demagogue whose hate radio show is the beacon for right-wing Rethugs everywhere. Here's hoping that the struggle will be very long and divisive.

UPDATE: Tin Man backed down and apologized to Limpballs, proving that D.L. Hughley was right in referring to Limpballs as the leader of the Rethuglican Party.

(photo: Limpballs/Palin 2012!)

Exit, The Dark Prince

The infamous mercenary outfit Blackwater is losing its founder and CEO. Erik "The Dark" Prince. Under The Dark Prince's "leadership", Blackwater became the symbol of mercenaries run amok in Iraq, with their trigger-happy yahoos shooting Iraqi women and children, including the infamous 2007 incident in Baghdad where 17 unarmed civilians were mowed down by Blackwater mercenaries. Several are now facing criminal charges in the U.S.

Although The Dark Prince was wealthy by inheritence before his Blackwater days and doesn't need a job, he could find employment protecting the Mexican drug cartels running rampant along the border. That would seem to be his cup of tea.

(photo: "Let's go kill us some Eye-rackies, boys!")

Mittens in 2012!

America's next Harold Stassen, Willard "Mitt/ Mutt/ Muff/ Mittens" Romney came out of this week's Crooks, Poltroons, Assholes and Crackpots (CPAC) meeting as the #1 choice for the Rethug nomination in 2012. Well, hold on there, wingnuts! You might want Wonkette's take on that first.