Minnesota Supreme Court: Certify Franken!

The Minnesota Supreme Court has issued its ruling: Franken won. While not "ordering" Gov. Tim "Bridge Collapse" Pawlenty to issue the certificate of election, its 5-0 ruling states that Franken is "entitled" to the certification and that it should occur forthwith. What's not known: will "Bridge Collapse" go through with his pledge to be guided by the Supreme Court decision and sign an election certificate, and will Norm "Sore Loser" Coleman decide to appeal in Federal court and thereby continue to defer his inevitable loss and the seating of Minnesota's second senator?

UPDATE: Late this afternoon, Norm "Sore Loser" Coleman CONCEDED (after 7 months!), no doubt to the consternation of Bill O'Liely and Sen. John "All Hat, No Cattle" Cornyn.

"Gaucho Mark" Confesses More "Encounters"

South Carolina Rethug Gov. Mark "Gaucho Mark" Sanford is admitting more indiscretions, including "crossing the line" -- up to but not including "the nasty"-- with "a handful" of other women. Gaucho Mark, inexplicably still Governor, also admits he wasn't completely truthful in his recent teary news conference/ confession, upping the number of times he saw mistress Maria Chapur.

Clearly, Gaucho Mark has been affected even more than originally thought by islamofascistsocialist Obama and his destruction of the U.S. of A.

(Photo: Gaucho Mark - we never knew he had so many balls in the air!)

May Her Wish Come True!

Rethuglican loony Rep. Michelle "Commies In Congress" Bachmann has a new paranoid fantasy: the census, which is taken every 10 years, is a conspiracy to round up wingnuts and send them to FEMA concentration camps, where they will be forced to listen to Barbara Streisand songs and watch reruns of M*A*S*H* all day! Therefore, nutty Michelle says she won't be filling out her census form, and hopes that her constituents follow suit.

What this loony lady fails to realize is that Congressional seats are apportioned according to population, so if her 6th Congressional district voters don't complete their census forms, her Congressional seat might be absorbed by another District, according to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.

Bwahahahaha! The paranoid chickens come home to roost!

The Perils Of Self-Medication

We've seen Rethuglican leader Pills Limpballs (a.k.a., "Mr. Bouncy Bouncy" on MSNBC's Countdown) pull some exceedingly strange things out of his large hindquarters, but this is hilarious: as we noted yesterday, he's suggesting that Obama's to blame for Gov. Mark "Gaucho Man" Sanford's affair in Argentina. As a result, Ed Shultz featured Limpballs -- whom he refers to as "The Drugster" -- on his nightly "Psycho Talk" segment. Ed gives Pills the best response: ridicule.

Limpballs will need to adjust his self-medication to get through the Obama years. We would suggest increasing the tranquilizers and cutting back on the hallucinogenics.

Taking It To the Milbank, Part Trois

Jesus General gives Milbank his own "Potentates of the Press" trading card!

Oxymoron of the Week: Wingnut Responsibility

It's been noted how the likes of "Pills" Limpballs and Mark "Franken!" Steyn have blamed libruls, Dimmycrats and more specifically "Messiah Obama" for the failings of their own. Pandagon has an amusing piece "I Kicked You in the Nuts Because of Bernie Sanders" that examines the pathological inability of wingnuts to take responsibility for their actions. Why should this be surprising, after all? Clearly they've constructed their own alternate reality where up is always down, in is always out, and dammit! there's nothing wrong with conservatism that a stronger dose of laissez-faire, enrich the rich, let them eat cake, never compromise policies can't solve. "What economic collapse? What adultery? What health care crisis? Oh, those are all someone else's fault because they can't be ours!"

Minnesota Supreme Court To Gopher It?

The Minneapolis Star-Tribune (via Booman Tribune is reporting that the long-awaited decision by the Minnesota Supreme Court is due... any day now. (How many times have we heard that?!) Also quoted is Gov. Tim "Bridge Collapse" Pawlenty saying he would follow the court's direction and, if so ordered, sign the certificate naming Al Franken the winner over Norm "Sore Loser" Coleman. Someone needs to slip some Metamucil in the judges' afternoon tea and get them the hell off the pot so Minnesota has its full complement of Senators during the health care reform voting and beyond. [Bad pun alert!] Gopher it, gentlemen!

(Photo: the very lovely Norman - on the pot?)

"A Word To The Neocons"

From The Atlantic's Andrew Sullivan, referring to the treatment of Iranian protesters who have been jailed by the Ahmadiddledoo regime:

"A word to the neocons: you have no standing to protest the barbaric treatment of these prisoners any more. And you have made their torture more helpless, more powerful, more brutal than it would otherwise have been. As these protesters. . .look toward America, as they try to see a beacon somewhere that would let them know that their torturers have no standing in the civilized world, they find one thing.

That beacon? Neoconservatism snuffed it out."

Well said.

Bye Bye, Bernie

Good news that $65 billion Ponzi schemer Bernie "I Made Off With Your Savings" Madoff was sentenced to the maximum of 150 years in prison for swindling the life savings from thousands of people. The sentence assures that he'll spend the rest of his life behind bars with no chance of parole. Hopefully, he'll meet a love interest in prison in the form of a large tatooed Aryan nation skinhead.

Taking It To The Milbank

There are a lot of postings on the topic of the Huffington Post's Nico Pitney giving a verbal smackdown to the WaPo's smarmy columnist Dana Milbank. In brief, Pitney responded to Milbank's misleading and snarky column suggesting that Pitney was "planted" by the Obama Administration to ask a question at last week's press conference. Pitney pointed out the errors in Milbank's account, and went on to remind viewers of Milbank's fawning over Preznit Chimpy during the first weeks of the Iraq War. You have to see the exchange.

The mainstream media Villagers are resentful of the access that non-traditional media have in the Obama Administration. It's reminiscent of the last years of the Clinton Administration, when Village elders such as David "Broderella" Broder and Sally "I Slept With The Boss" Quinn finally boiled over after years of having the Clintons decline to attend their Georgetown soirees, and engage in gossipy chit chat with them. Obama and his staff are wise to them, and he's signaling that they're not the royality of Washington any more.

EXTRA: Digby has more on the morons like Milbank and his WaPo co-Villager Ceci "No!No!" Connolly.

(photo: Dana Milbank, serious journalist)

R.I.P., Billy Mays

Ubiquitous TV pitchman Billy Mays died today at his home in Tampa, Fla., at age 50. Featured recently in the Discovery Network show "Pitchman" with ubersalesman Anthony Sullivan, Mays was the quintessential in-your-face, but likable, door-to-door salesman - except that he went door-to-door via the infomercial.

We were hoping the Obama Administration could have hired Billy to pitch their health reform initiative ("You can get your family covered for only $19.95 a month! That's right $19.95 a month! But wait..."), but alas it's not to be. Rest in peace.

"Selling Health Care"

Emory University's outstanding Drew Westen writes in today's WaPo about messaging in the health care battle, an article which should be required reading by everyone in the White House, the Congressional Democratic leadership and all health care reform activists.

Westen notes how Rethug wordsmith Fred "Dunce" Luntz circulated Rethug/ insurance industry/ AMA talking points last month telling them they needed to co-opt the language of "reform," and paint the progressive plan as a "government takeover" as the only way to scare the public, defeat Obama and not incur the wrath of 75% of Americans who want true reform. Cynical? Of course. Anti-middle class? Heh! The Rethugs have been at this for literally half a century, in league with the insurance and pharmaceutical industries and the AMA.

But Westen offers good advice to the Democrats (at least those who want true health care reform, and thus the preservation of their party). Using terms such as "universal health care," "public option," "the uninsured," and "the "under-insured" plays into Rethug/ industry hands. His key advice to those wanting a strong counter-message to the Rethug/ industry scare tactics: "Advocates should counter by asking Americans whether they prefer choices dictated by the insurance industry or the range of choices that their elected representatives get, including a high-quality plan that doesn't rely on the goodwill of industry executives."

Going For The Nudist Vote Are We?

Courtesy of TPM, we saw this article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution about Mark "Mr. Natural" Musselwhite, a Rethuglican former mayor of Gainesville, Georgia. Apparently, Mr. Natural was arrested recently when campers at a local campsite complained that he was walking around nude and obviously inebriated. When approached by the police, Mr. Natural claimed that he was hot and had gone for a dip in a creek -- or "crick" as they would say in Georgia. The article notes that Mr. Natural was also previously deacon at the First Baptist Church in Gainesville. So, praise the Lord, and pass the figleaf.

(photo: "I wuz jes walkin' aroun', mindin' my own bidness with my clothes off . .")

Whew!

The House just passed the Waxman-Markey energy/ climate change bill by a too-narrow 219-212. A lot of Dems voted with the Rethugs and nearly derailed the bill. Shame on them. Now on to the Senate.

The WaPo's Sh*tty Judgement

The Washington Post has become a shadow of its former journalistic self, featuring a parade of neocons on its "op ed" page, and remaining mostly uncritical during the Bushit years regarding foreign policy (e.g., Iraq). Cowed by the drumbeat of "liberal media" accusations by the far right over the years, the WaPo caved in to them. How many more columns from Fred "I Luv Neocons" Hiatt, Chuckie Kraphammer, Michael "Gag" Gerson, Wee Willie Kristol, Fred "War Is Good" Kagan, and other wingers will it take to convince people that the WaPo isn't "liberal" at all, but more neocon than ever? And that's not to mention their stable of writers who still think D.C. is "wired Rethuglican."

Now, with the dismissal of the estimable journalist Dan Froomkin from the WaPo website, they have bet on a Rethuglican revival. Like it's gonna happen. The WaPo's not your father's WaPo anymore.

RELATED: Over at Fairness and Accuracy in Media, Jim Naureckas has a pithy blog on l'affaire Froomkin and the culture pervading the WaPo that led to his dismissal. P.S.-- the John Harris who's quoted in the blog is now with the Rethug-wired Politico.