Happy Holidays!

We're taking a little time off to enjoy the holidays with family, and to get our blood pressure stabilized. In the meantime, enjoy our 2007 Hackwhackers Awards!

It's the Second Annual Hackwhackers Awards!!

Here it is that time of year again! First, a "Happy Anniversary" to Hackwhackers! And now without further ado, here are your award winners for 2007:

Hack(s) of the Year

To Neocons everywhere (Wee Willie, Kraphammer, "Porno 'Stache" Bolton, Pudhoretz, Fred Barnes, etc.). To refer to this assortment of chickenhawks and crackpots as "conservative" turns the common understanding of the word on its (pin)head. These were consistently the most radical ninnies, willing to shed American blood at the drop of a bomb, er, hat, especially if it served the interests of the war party in Israel (the neocon Likud). If any one of these loons ever served in the uniform of the United States, we're waiting to hear about it. Yet they are the first to call for bombing Iran, denying intelligence findings when it doesn't suit their agenda of preemptive wars, supporting the misguided catastrophe in Iraq with ever-changing rationales, and generally being morally bankrupt, physically cowardly and intellectually dishonest.

Runners Up

To all things Fox News, last year's winner who drops to runner up by virtue of the fact that they're losing viewers (octogenarian white folks dropping dead), and are therefore becoming even less relevant than ever. O'Really? Hannity, Cavuto...zzzz. (BTW, how's that Fox Bidness Channel coming along?) And...

To the "main stream" media (stellar lights like Tweety, Timmeh, Fred Hiatt, "Less Is" Mo Dowd, etc.), with particular attention to the turdsqueezers covering the '08 election season. Your ill-disguised motivation to savage whoever is leading in the polls in order to keep the race "interesting", your collective desire to boil down the race into a beauty/ popularity contest, and your timidity in challenging Dumbya's many questionable statements and actions, all more than qualify you as Hacks Extraordinaire. We're certain you'll keep up the bad work.

Dishonorable Mentions

To Division II and III of the neocon blathersphere (Pammy Jugs, Doughy Pantload, Wiener Savage, ad nauseum), the even-dimmer bulbs of the right, who dive for their pop-guns whenever a flea farts. How we doin' on finding Osama Bin Laden? Maybe we should get evil-doer-tracker OJ on the trail (psst...hint: he's not in Iraq).

Tin Ear Award

To Rep. John "Man Tan" Boehner (Rethug-OH), House minority leader, who announced an effort this year to "re-brand" the Republican Party. We offered several ideas to Boner, including use of the graphic in the "Sunday Happiness" item below, but got no response. That was before the Larry "Wide Stance" Craig episode, 'Berto's resignation, Mukasy's waterboarding dumb act(?), the destruction of the CIA tapes, Congressional Rethugs continuing to give Dumbya a free hand in Iraq, two vetos of the SCHIP bill, etc., etc. So we'd like to update our branding suggestions to include the motto: "We screwed you, now we're screwed."

Circular Firing Squad

To Hucksterbee, Rudy Toot Tooty, and Willard "Muff/Mousse/Flip Flop Mitt," who are finding, in Willard's immortal imagery, that the Rebunglecan Party is, indeed, a "STOOL," and each of these nimrods is busy sawing off one or more of the legs in order to get the others to fall. May all of you somehow end up grasping said stool as the grand prize!

Golden Drool Cup

To David "The Dean" Broder, who... someone wake Broder up to get his award... to David Br... oh never mind.

STFU Advisories

To the Democratic front-runners in particular, try not to give the Rethugs too much video to use next fall, ok?

Sunday Happiness

This morning's WaPo is full of happy news... seriously! On the front page, we have "Splintered GOP Seeks Unifying Presence," wherein we read:

"For three decades, the Republican presidential nominating contest has served to unify the national party's coalition of social, economic and foreign policy conservatives in advance of a general election fight with Democrats. This year, it is ripping that coalition apart."

Let 'er rip!!

Then we have the report of the Concord (NH) Monitor's anti-endorsement of Willard "Muff/Mousse/Flip Flop Mitt" Romney:

"If you were building a Republican presidential candidate from a kit, imagine what pieces you might use: an athletic build, ramrod posture, Reaganesque hair...you'd pour in some old GOP bromides-- spending cuts and lower taxes-- plus some new positions for 2008: anti-immigrant rhetoric and a focus on faith. Add it all up and you get Mitt Romney, a disquieting figure who sure looks like the next President and most surely must be stopped."

The editorial also calls Willard "a phony." Take that, Willard!

Last, but not least, John Judis and Rudy Teixeira present a compelling (and hopefully realistic) view of Democratic ascendancy well into the future, in "Get Ready for a Democratic Era."

With all of the above, and with candidates Democrats are generally happy with, seems like we need to be worried about overconfidence. Because, even though the Rethugs seem bent on cannibalizing each other, they still have their playbook, and they know how to steal elections.

Bush: Carbon Dioxide Does Exist!

In this season of miracles, Dumbya has a revelation! God bless us, everyone!

Happy Holidays, Dumbya! Regards, The Senate

The U.S. Senate will be in pro forma session, in order to prevent the Decider from making recess appointments (see John "Porno 'Stache" Bolton) and circumventing Senate approval.

Dumbya would certainly like to appoint a number of highly competent judges, sub-cabinet officials, etc. without the interference of that other branch of Government, but the naughty Democrats just won't let him rule now in the manner he's been accustomed.

Quote of the Week

"Gates is drinking...the Kool-Aid this administration has for the last six years. My info suggests that [the Pakistanis] are not doing very well in Swat." -- Anonymous Pentagon specialist in counter-terrorism efforts on the Afghan-Pakistani border, speaking on condition of anonymity for fear of losing his job. (He was referring to Defense Secretary Robert Gates' assessment that the Pakistani army had had "some success" fighting "al-Qaeda" in the province of Swat. The specialist also said the fighters involved were not al-Qaeda, but a local Islamist extremist group.)

The War On Christmas: Observations From The Front

It's been noted that the White House message to the troops contains no mention of Christmas. What's with the Presidunce? Will this cause the wingnut blogosphere to spontaneously combust? One can only hope.

Christmas Commander Bill O'Liely should be mounting a counterattack on Fux News soon. Stay tuned.

Anything? OK, Why Are You Lying?

Rethug Presidential hopeful Willard/Flip/Mousse/Mitt Romney is trying to 'splain his statement that he saw his father, George Romney, march with Martin Luther King in Grosse Pointe, Michigan in the 1960s. It turns out that it never happened. It seems that with Willard, "saw" is a relative term: "I 'saw' him in the figurative sense," he explained, "The term 'saw' includes being aware of - - in the terms I've described."

OK, Willard, we think we understand the drill. We saw you lying through your teeth - - in the figurative sense - - in claiming that your father marched with Dr. King.

Now ask him anything again.

Buh Bye, Cowboy

Rethug nut Tom "No Tank You" Tancredo has given up his run (more like crawl) for the Rethug Presidential nomination, and endorsed Flip/Mousse/Mitt Romney. Now he can devote all of his energies to patrolling the border to keep those dangerous brown Meskins from sneaking into our country and working on Flip/Mousse/Mitt's landscaping.

Rushing Things

An explanation from the Hucksterbee camp as to why Rush "Pills" Limpballs doesn't want to see the incredible Huck as the Rethug nominee: their theory is that Limpballs wants another Clinton White House, to keep his old white male audience riled up. It's all about Clinton Derangement Syndrome: it's what made Limpballs the mega-ditto scumbag that he is today (that, Oxycontin, and Viagra).

(photo: Limpballs in his John Wayne Gacy phase)

What a Rudy Awakening!

The latest NBC News/WSJ poll is showing the effect of gravity on the "little man looking for a balcony." Yes, Rudy Toot Tooty dropped 13 percentage points among Rethugs since November. His unfavorable rating shot up from 14% to 37% in the same time frame. Kerik, mistress perks, and shady business ties-- all have conspired to bring this vastly overrated pol down to earth in recent weeks.

On the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton continues to hold a sizable lead (22 points) over Barack Obama, despite the best efforts of the MSM to "make the race interesting" (and thereby sell advertising) by a constant drumbeat of negative coverage. This biased treatment by the "Kool Kids from Beltway High" was the subject of a Howie Kurtz analysis in the WaPo today, nicely covered by the Daily Howler, who's been following the Kool Kids' antics for some time.

New Era at Michigan

We take a break for a moment in our tireless search for the tawdry, the hypocritical and the reactionary, to offer congratulations to the University of Michigan and its new head football coach -- Rich Rodriguez. Rodriguez, late of West Virginia University, is a highly-regarded coach who, it is hoped by Wolverine fans, will inject new energy into the storied program. (Condolences in advance to my brother Hackwhacker and his children for the many losses Wisconsin will sustain over the course of Rodriguez' tenure!)

Oops, She Did It Again

It appears Lynne Spears' book on parenting has been put on hold following news today that her 16-year-old daughter, Jamie Lynn, is preggers. The young miss Spears is the star of "Zoey 101" on Nickelodeon when she's not out fornicatin' behind momma's back. Perhaps they should go ahead with momma Spears' book, just place it in the "Humor" section.

Good News/Bad News

First the good news: Time Magazine has dropped neocon-artists Wee Willie Kristol's and Charles Kraphammer's columns. Whoopee.

Bad news: Time Magazine has replaced them with necocon-artist Ramesh "Legal Immigrant" Ponnuru. Whoopee again.

"Dick, You Were Told To Burn Those Documents OUTSIDE"

News item: Fire in Old Executive Office Building, near Dead Eye Dick's ceremonial office.

Playing with fire again.

The Rethugs' "Moral" Dilemma

While we'd never vote for any of the Rethuglican candidates for President, we can't help but smile at the contortions that some establishment Rethugs are going through over Mike "Hucksterbee" as he rises in the polls. It exposes the patchwork alliance that started with the "Southern Strategy" of Richard Nixon, where establishment, corporate and economic elite Rethugs welcomed Dixiecrat rednecks that were leaving the Democratic Party over its support of civil rights. During the Raygun years, southern evangelicals unhappy with the country's "morals" were courted to cement what the Rethugs thought would be an unbeatable coalition of corporate and economic elites and southern Yahoos. Well, now that a Yahoo is surging in the Rethug race, the elites aren't happy. After all, the bargain was for the Yahoos to vote for an elite Rethug, and then take a back seat as long as elite Rethug presidents pushed "social" or "family values" issues, and paid lip service to the evangelicals.

Now Hucksterbee is spoiling their nomination picnic, by asserting his place at the elite Rethug table. The chickens have come home to roost. For once, we can say "amen."

A Moment When Hearts Beat Fast...

... Then we heard the news that it was only a "small chemical explosion." Someone might want to check to see if someone lit a match near Roger Ailes' ample bottom.

Af-gone-istan: Dumbya's Legacy

There are reports in today's WaPo that the military is urging a more rapid redeployment of troops from Iraq to the worsening situation in Afghanistan. According to the article, "senior Administration officials now believe that Afghanistan may pose a greater longer-term challenge than Iraq." Now believe? Dumbya pulled critical resources out of the legitimate fight against al Qaeda in Afghanistan to start a war of choice in Iraq based on bogus reasons. Now Afghanistan is drifting back into instability as a haven for the Taliban and al Qaeda. It's as if Roosevelt had suspended the war against Nazi Germany to go after, oh say, Brazil.

The dangerous mess caused by Dumbya's extreme arrogance, dishonesty and incompetence will be the unfortunate legacy passed on to his successor.

Loserman Endorses Walnuts

Sen. Joe Loserman (Idiot-CT) endorsed Walnuts McCain for President today. Shocking!! No doubt Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo rebuffed his efforts to endorse them first. Loserman (a prescient nickname bestowed upon him by Rethugs after the '00 election) thinks Walnuts will end the partisan gridlock in Washington (!). Yes, 4+ more years of Rethug rule will certainly do that, you betcha!

(Image: "The Kiss.")

"Self-Inflicted Folly"

James Wolcott has a wonderful piece about the agony in some Rethug precincts about the "self-inflicted folly" resulting from decades of pandering to the Dobson/ Perkins/ Robertson/ Donohue far-right "Christian" crowd. As we noted in "Rethugs Racing to Out-Bigot Each Other" (12/12), when you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. (Or was it, you are what you eat... or...). In any event, Wolcott notes how neocons like Peggy "High" Noonan and Charles Kraphammer weren't always so particular about the company Rethugs were keeping.

Porno 'Stache Bolton: Climatologist, or Something

Former (thankfully) U.N. representative John "Porno 'Stache" Bolton isn't a climatologist, although he plays one on TV. In a recent Fux News interview, Porno 'Stache declared that Al Gore was "isolated" for saying that the U.S. was the "primary obstacle to progress" in the UN's Bali Climate Change Summit. Climate change is all crapola anyway, according to this self-designated climate expert.

Wellllll now, 'Stache, it seems as though the U.S. representative agreed with Al Gore, so the U.S. will be engaged in negotiations to set carbon dioxide emissions standards after all. One emission they may want to curb off the bat is Porno 'Stache's verbal bloviations that add nothing but CO2 and other fumes to the atmosphere.

(photo: Porno 'Stache points to his CO2-emitting pie hole)

Let the Assault on Reality Begin!

...Well, it already has, of course, when it comes to the recent NIE on Iran's nuclear program. First, it was the neocons (aka, the Likud Party-U.S. Chapter), notably John "Kwazy-Putz" Bolton, Wee Willie Kristol and Norman "Putz" Podhoretz. Now comes the hand controlling the strings, in the form of Ari Dichter, Israel's minister of public security, challenging the NIE's conclusion that Iran had ceased its nuclear program several years ago. The no compromise, dead-ender Likudists, whether in Jerusalem or New York City, have as their goal to use the American military (hence American lives) as the spearpoint in a "preventative" war with Iran. The war of choice with Iraq was also predicated on Saddam Hussein being the most immediate threat to Israel, rather than on Iraq being a "front" in the war on terror. No, that front was, and is, in Afghanistan and Pakistan. One hopes this NIE is a new Declaration of Independence from the Likudists.

Quote of the Week

"I wonder whether conservative Christians such as presidential candidate Mike Huckabee have considered that Jesus and his parents were undocumented immigrants in the land of Egypt. They were just lucky that there were no Minutemen or politicians looking to evoke useful hatreds and demand that they be sent back where they came from, where the soldiers of King Herod were looking for them." Denise Barker, letter to the editor, WaPo, 12/15/07. Nicely said.

Let The Stonewalling Begin

Attorney General Michael "Mum" Mukasey has denied a Congressional request for information on the Justice Department's investigation of the CIA's destruction of the torture tapes. In a letter to Senators Leahy and Specter, Mum denied the Senate the requested information, as well as their request that Mum appoint a special counsel, since no one really expects the Bushit Justice Department to conduct a real investigation.

Snow Job Returns Home

Tony "Snow Job" Snow has returned to his home at Fux News, to no one's great surprise. He's hosting the Bill O'Liely crap fest tonight. Not much difference from his duty as Dumbya's press secretary.

Rethug Mischief

Rethuglican Senators are making mischief again: they defeated an energy bill which would have had the first new fuel economy standards in some 30 years because of the bill's imposition of taxes on oil companies. Surprised? In addition, some Rethug Senators, unhappy with the NIE's deflation of the march to war against Iran, want a Congressional investigation of the report's findings, suggesting that the NIE was "politicized." Riiiiight! The consensus of 16 intelligence agencies is "politicized" when it doesn't fit the Rethug roadmap for endless war in the Middle East. So the Senate Rethugs want to jump in and. . . what's the word? POLITICIZE the process. This should be interesting; maybe the Rethugs can put the Yellow Elephant logo on the next NIE cover.

Gore: U.S. Blocking Climate Change Progress

Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Al Gore said yesterday that the U.S. was "principally responsible" for blocking progress at the UN climate conference being held in Bali, Indonesia. Specifically, the U.S. delegation, led by Undersecretary of State Paula Dobriansky, is rejecting specific emissions cut targets, saying "We don't have to resolve all these issues...here in Bali."

No, of course not, Paula. You can do what everyone expects the Bushies to do: punt it to the next administration taking office about 13 months from now. Another "heroic conservative!"

(Photo: Paula Dobriansky with another star of the Bush firmament, L. Paul Bremer.)

Rethugs Racing to Out-Bigot Each Other

Mike Hucksterbee and Willard "Muff/Mousse/Flip Flop Mitt" Romney are finding out what happens when you pander to a base of bigots. (Hint: it's akin to "you are what you eat.") In their latest salvos on "Who loves Jeebus more," Hucksterbee ("Christian leader") took another swipe at Willard's Mormon faith, and Willard fired back at Hucksterbee's un-Americanism for bringing it up. Well, when you're dealing with the likes of Bobo and Milton (typical Rethug Iowa caucus voters and products of "Christian" home-schooling, pictured above), the level of discussion is expected to be fairly shallow; but the crudity that we're starting to see from these nimrods, and from those who act for and support them, is not a little frightening. If this on-going back-and-forth doesn't imply a religious test for public office, what does? How many of these base voters believe deep in their hearts that America is only to be governed by a Christian (read: evangelical Christian right-winger)?

As Sinclair Lewis said, "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying the cross."

"Go Back, Ah Say, Go Back An' Git Intelligence I Agree With"

Rethug Presidential candidate Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson has awakened from a long slumber to alert us that the recent National Intelligence Estimate that said that Iran's nuclear weapons program was halted in 2003 is, in Foghorn's word, "foolishness." He said, "I don't care what this latest NIE says," not that he has an inkling beyond what wife Jeri Juggs has briefed him on.

Foghorn joins the ranks of the neocons, who were taken aback by the NIE's findings which knocked the legs from under their quest for war with Iran. According to them, the report is (take your pick), an attempt to undermine Dumbya, misleading and inaccurate, or foolishness. Oh, wait. . .what's this? Dead Eye Dick says he "doesn't have any reason to question" the NIE findings. Dayum! You boys need to get on the same page in the neocon manual!

Say Whuh?

Don't expect any members of the Washington elite pundit "Village" to refer to the statement by Rethug Presidential candidate Mike "Huckster-bee" that we should be "free of energy consumption in this country within a decade." OK, I guess if Rethug Presidents continue to launch wars, some day there may be no one around to consume energy. As Kevin Drum points out in the Washington Monthly, ever since Ronnie Raygun's gaffes ("trees cause pollution"), Rethugs are generally given a pass by the mainstream media when they make goofy statements because, well, that's what Rethugs running for President do.

Dead-Eye Man Walking

Universal health care will be one of the key issues in the 2008 elections, as it should be. Think Progress passes along a wonderfully ironic ad by the California Nurses Association, which points out that Dead Eye Dick Cheney would be a dead man if not for his Federal health benefits coverage. His history of heart problems would have given him a "death sentence", according to the nurses' group, without the blue-chip health insurance provided to him.

Wait. . .Dead Eye has a heart?

(Photo: Dead Eye illustrating the amount of health insurance that he believes average Americans should have)

Libby: Appeal Not Appealing

Lewis "Scooter" Libby has decided not to appeal his conviction on perjury and obstruction of justice in the Assministration's outing of CIA official Valerie Plame in retaliation for her husband's whistleblowing on the phony story about Iraq seeking uranium yellow cake. Of course, Preznit Chimpy, an unindicted co-conspirator, commuted Scooter's sentence last July. This means that the original felony conviction stands for the record, and Scooter gets to move on to a cushy position with a wingnut think tank or lobbying firm. Loyalty to the Bushits pays!

Lies That Are Kristol Klear

On Sunday's Fux News gab fest, neocon putz William "Wee Willie" Kristol made the claim that the 2003 Iraq invasion led Libya to end its nuclear weapons program, and Iran to freeze its program. As Think Progress notes, news accounts at the time of Libya's decision give credit years of diplomatic negotiations with Libya and numerous commercial incentives, not the invasion. Similarly, Iran gained influence and power within the region following the invasion; they weren't forced into a defensive crouch, pleading for mercy with the occupying army next door. As North Korea demonstrated, to deter an attack, it's advantageous for a country to acquire nuclear weapons.

(photo: Wee Willie receiving the Honesty in Media award)

The War on Christmas, Pacific Front

Someone alert Fux News! Call Wild Bill Donahue! Dig up Douglas MacArthur! This calls for an on-site report from "Loofah Bill" O'Reilly! (He could also use his time there to do an in-depth report on underage Filipino sex factories, a topic near to his heart-- if his heart is located near his pelvis.) Who knew that secular progressives had invaded the Philippines?!

Quote of the Week

"This book is so riddled with errors, inconsistencies, bad advice and hypocrisy that by O'Reilly's own standards -- we must not 'leave children exposed to harm'-- it should be placed in the adults-only section of the bookstore. Or better yet, with the joke books." --Alan Dershowitz, reviewing "Loofah Bill" O'Reilly's new book "Kids Are Americans Too" (not pictured here) in the WaPo "Book World," Sunday, December 9.

Kwazy-Putz Bolton: NIE a "Quasi-Putsch"

Former Ambassador to the UN (recess appointment) and former and current loon John Bolton was quoted in an interview in Der Spiegel as saying the recent NIE on Iran's abandoned nuclear weapons program represented a "quasi-putsch" by the 18 U.S. intelligence agencies that developed the report, and was a victory for politicized policymaking. We'll pause here to contemplate the breathtaking incongruity of a partisan crackpot like Bolton making such a statement (partisan of the American Likud Party, that is). There, that's enough.

Bolton is clearly on a mission with his fellow neocons to maneuver the United States into a military conflict with Iran, one assumes because it's enemy #1 of the war party in Israel. Dumbya, meanwhile, can't disavow the NIE, which his own intelligence agencies assembled, and which caused him to tone down his "WW III" rhetoric recently. So, we see yet another fissure opening on the right, dividing the loons with their not-so-hidden agenda (Bolton, Podhoretz, Kristol, WSJ, etc.) from the saps who are actually responsible (for now) for trying to keep our foreign and defense policy vaguely reflective of American interests (Rice, Gates, Hayden, etc.).

Image:
Kwazy-putz John Bolton (via Princess Sparkle Pony's Photo Blog).

"The Cookie and Buzzy Show" Moves To Another Channel

State Department Inspector General Howard "Cookie" Krongard has resigned from the State Department. Several weeks ago, Cookie was testifying before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee on his Department's failure to properly manage their contractors, specifically the Blackwater mercenaries. When Committee Chairman Waxman noted that Cookie's brother, Alvin "Buzzy" Krongrad was on Blackwater's advisory board, Cookie claimed ignorance. During a break in the hearing, Cookie was told by Buzzy that he was connected to Blackwater. Oops. Buzzy later said that he had informed Cookie of his status with Blackwater weeks before the hearing. Cookie's testimony is being examined for possible perjury. Nicely played.

We will miss the further adventures of Cookie and Buzzy, although family dinners at the Krongards' house should be most exciting.

(S)Huckin', and Jivin'

Rethug Presidential candidate Mike "Huckster" Huckabee has run into a problem with the parole of convicted rapist Wayne Dumond during Huckster's governorship. The Huckster supported a parole to Dumond, who raped a distant Clinton relative and daughter of a Clinton supporter, only to have Dumond rape and murder other victims. Apparently, pressure was placed on the Huckster to release Dumond - - and shame the Clintons - - by rabid anti-Clinton wingers, but the parole backfired when Dumond raped again. The Huckster is now using the "who, me?" defense, and attacking the messenger. Laughable.

Tale Of The Tapes

The destruction of video tapes of interrogations of al Qaeda operatives in 2005 by the CIA has resulted in calls for Congressional hearings. Some of the videos were taken of the 2002 interrogation of Abu Zubaydah. Assministration officials claim that the destruction of the tapes was meant to protect agency officials from legal claims, due to the harsh interrogation methods (i.e., torture) used. Some familiar with the Abu Zubaydah tapes, including writer Gerald Posner, are saying that a major reason for the tapes' destruction is that Zubaydah fingered 3 Saudi princes, including the King's nephew, and the Pakistani Air Force chief, as having prior knowledge of the 9/11 attacks. He had the personal cell phone numbers of these alleged conspirators.

This should be very interesting, even if the Assministration stonewalls, as is expected.

Quote of the Day

"...talk about a direct IV into the vein of your support. . .they regurgitate exactly and put up on their blogs what you said to them. It is something that we've cultivated. . ." former White House counselor Dan Bartlett, interviewed in the Texas Monthly about right wing blogs' role in pushing Dumbya's agenda.

Call 867-5309, Ask For 'Chimpy'

Dumbya, unsurprisingly, gives out the wrong number for the "Hope Now" hotline for people having problems with their sub-prime loans. Treasury Secretary Paulson looks on, mortified, as Chimpy channels Tommy Tutone from the '80s.

"For a good time, call Chimpy at . . ."

Bonus: The number that Dumbya gave is that of some outfit called the Freedom Christian Academy. Bwahahahahahahaha.

(Associated Press photo)

Pro and Con

Bravo to the Center for American Progress, which is airing tv spots comparing progressive and conservative world views. This one is a take-off on those PC vs. Mac ads; another one aired during the Larry King show last night on CNN (Fox Lite). There are more (check the YouTube site). Small, generalizing, 30-second steps, but always worthwhile to try to draw the distinctions between the two philosophies for anyone who thinks "they're all alike." Please keep it up!

Gas Attacks In Devon, England!

News from BBC of gas attacks in a public facility. Methane gas is suspected.

Alert Dumbya! Them terrists is on the loose agin'!

Neo-Con-spiracy

The neocons continue to frantically spin the devastating National Intelligence Estimate that blew their plans to bomb Iran out of the water (see yesterday's "Neocon Job"). In particular, as Larry Johnson at TPM notes, the sinister Stormin' Norman Podhoretz, the father of neoconservatism, is imagining a dark conspiracy among Dumbya's detractors in the intelligence community to leak damaging information and to undermine the Preznit's flawless strategery to eventually attack every Muslim country in the Middle East. This slur should not go unchallenged by the Defense and State Departments and the CIA. Their intelligence professionals were burned in the lead up to the Iraq war by the cherry picking of intelligence by neocons, who were truly the ones trying to politize intellegence.

Hope You Get Lucky, Larry!

Several Senators, including public bathroom sex icon Senator Larry "The Tapper" Craig, will be traveling to Bali, Indonesia for a conference on global warming. Some helpful tips for Larry's after hours "social mixing" are provided by the estimable Princess Sparkle Pony. Oh, and Larry? Remember that Indonesia is a Muslim country (you know, flog flog, chop chop). Enjoy.

Neocon Job

Well, it didn't take long for the neocon contingent of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders to try to spin the National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) on the shut down of Iranian nuclear weapons program. The same neocons that were pushing false information about Iraq and then Iran are now either "skeptical" about the intelligence, or spinning that Dumbya's deceit about Iran's program was a smart move to keep the Iranians off balance. The New York Times' "The Lede" draws on a few of the more tortured statements.

The NIE story is certainly about the content of the document, which said that Iran's weapons program was shut down in 2003. But it's also about the fact that the report was completed some 6 months ago and held from the public by the neocons in the West Wing that didn't like the conclusions reached. The speculation is that the report's release was forced by an "alliance" within the Assministration, including the CIA/Joint Chiefs of Staff/State Department, that was leery of more dishonest intelligence cherry picking of data by Cheney & Co., similar to the lead up to the Iraq invasion.

The "Likability Factor"

From our friends at The Onion, this report on the candidate most Americans could see sucker-punching in a bar. You will be right if you think the content of this report mirrors recent discussions on the Tweety Show about the importance of a candidate's likability. Tweety just loves him some amiable dunces!

(h/t to our Tokyo correspondent, Brian!)

Kraphammer "Fundamentally Flawed"

Last week, neocon crackpot Charles Krauthammer posited in the WaPo that Dumbya's policies on embryonic stem cell research led to the recent breakthrough by University of Wisconsin professor James Thomson and a Japanese team (see Nov. 20 posting) because it forced scientists into "innovative alternatives." Well, Herr Doktor Kraphammer got his comeuppance in today's WaPo from none other than Professor Thomson (and Alan Leshner, CEO of the American Association for the Advancement of Science).

Writing under the heading "Standing in the Way of Stem Cell Research," Thomson and Leshner take Kraphammer to task for, first, inaccurately describing the landmark breakthrough as a "Holy Grail," and then for giving Dumbya credit, calling this argument "fundamentally flawed." Thomson and Leshner provide the authoritative, ultimate judgment, saying "Far from vindicating the current U.S. policy of withholding federal funds from many of those working to develop potentially lifesaving embryonic stem cells, recent papers in the journals Science and Cell described a breakthrough achieved despite political restrictions."

Next time, stick to topics you know something about, Kraphammer, like... uh, such as... oh, just STFU...

Photo (of chickenhawk Kraphammer "fowling up" a beer bong) courtesy of Princess Sparkle Pony's Photo Blog.

NOTE TO ERSTWHILE COMMENTERS: We're here in the future in 2010, and we saw several crackpot comments on this item that were posted about 3 years ago -- late 2007-ish. They gone. Don't know how you're finding this old posting, but if you want to leave a bullshit crackpot comment, fuggedaboudit!

Intelligence: No Weapons Program In Iran

The New York Times reports that a new National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) says that Iran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003, and would not be able to fabricate a nuclear weapon before 2013 even if it restarted that program today. The NIE is in stark contrast to the claims of the Assministration over the past two years that Iran is moving toward a nuclear weapon. The NIE represents the consensus opinion of 16 intelligence agencies.

Back to the war drawing board for Dead Eye's West Wing neocons.

(photo: Someone who has nothing to do with intelligence)

Wolfie's Return

It appears as though neocon Paul Wolfowitz, a key architect of the Iraq war, is in line for the chairmanship of the State Department's International Security Advisory Board. Marvelous! Let it be said that the Bushit Assministration never met an incompetent or a blind loyalist that it didn't reward. No word on whether Wolfie's girlfriend, suspected "terrist" (by virtue of her religion, of course) Shaha Riza, will be given an equivalent position, but we can always hope.

The Rules Can Be Changed

In the waning months of the Bushit Assministration, the Bushies will be trying to put Federal rules into place that favor their corporate contributors and supporters, or eliminate ones that they oppose. Washington Monthly reports that the National Association of Manufacturers is working with the Bushies to get their least favorite regulations abolished before Chimpy exits in January 2009. The Bushies, of course, will be doing everything they can to make the road easier for their corporate benefactors before the clock runs out on them, as they are assuming a Democratic President and Congress in 2009.

Rudy and Judy: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

One of the strategies of some of his Rethug opponents was to get Giuliani angry about some issue. It would reveal to the public what New Yorkers already know: Rudy Toot Tooty has a very nasty temper and vindictive streak. Well, it seems as though the recent revelations of his "shag fund" have sent Rudy over the top. He's instructed his bodyguards and press flacks to physically prevent any questions from the press during his public appearances. His "we've already explained it" dodge is not working, so he's got his posse pushing reporters out of the way, hoping that questions over this scandal will just go away.

What Dumbya Really Thinks About Homeland Security

The Assministration is preparing the FY 2009 Homeland Security budget to go to Congress in February, and it's a mess. Since Dumbya checks out in the first quarter of FY 09, it will be a budget that the next Administration would have to live with.

According to ABC News, the budget that Dumbya's proposing for state and local homeland security grants is only $1.4 billion, down from $3.2 billion in 2008. What's more alarming is that funding for port security, transit security and local emergency management operations has been zeroed out. Congress is certain to reject these cuts, and this final piece of the Decider's handiwork will be dead on arrival.