Is Mittens Quittens on Us?

It's very doubtful, but there are reports being circulated that Willard "Mousse/Mutt/Flip-flop/Slick Mitt" Romney might be trimming his campaign back for Super Tuesday. His campaign hasn't bought major airtime in the states holding primaries on February 5, and his campaign appears to be in growing disarrary, according to these reports. Saving his moolah to pass on to his five enlistment-eligible sons.

Willard, the most obvious political chameleon of this election cycle, gave a somewhat defensive and lackluster performance in Wednesday's Rethuglican debate at the Ronnie Raygun Center for the Glorification of Ronnie Raygun. His bazillions that he's spent in the quest for the Rethug nomination haven't gotten him too much more than a few "silver medals" in the primaries. Maybe once the Rethugs get around to nominating Walnuts! McCain, once-moderate-now-ultra conservative Willard will experience yet another fundamental change in political philosophy and run on the Communist Party ticket.

Obama for President

Now it's down to two. With the suspension of the campaign of the admirable John Edwards, Democrats have a clear choice. However it's phrased (past vs. future, technocrat vs. visionary, etc.), the differences between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama don't really involve major policy differences. Rather, it's more a style of politics and a generosity of spirit and authenticity of vision that distinguishes the two candidates from each other. We believe that the candidate best able to unite Americans and point them toward a better, more progressive America is Sen. Barack Obama.

To be most successful in politics, and governing, a person must have an ability to inspire as well as challenge us. That's because we need to overcome the fears and division that have been the hallmark of the past 7 years, if not the last 25. It's because we need to begin to rebuild what has been neglected. It's because we need to restore our standing with the world's nations, and our government's standing with its own people. For these and many other reasons, tangible and intangible, Hackwhackers proudly endorses Sen. Barack Obama for President.

28 Down, 171 To Go

Well, with Rep. Tom Davis' (Rethug-VA) announcement yesterday that he won't run for reelection in his increasingly Democratic district, the count stands at 28 Rethug congressmen not running for reelection this fall, out of 199 Rethugs currently serving. By contrast, only 5 Democrats aren't running for reelection (3 because they're running for Senate seats).

Another telling figure: the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee has about $33 million in the bank for the upcoming election, whereas the Rethug counterpart has... er...$3 million. Given the way the Rethug rats are deserting the ship, that might be all they need to defend their seat(s) come November.

Battle Stations! 'Stache Bolton Insulted!

Wingnuts are in full meltdown after it was reported that U.S. Ambassador to the U.N., Zalmay Khalilzad - - you know, one of those brown people - - failed to defend rabid war-winger John "Porno 'Stache" Bolton (left, in his Sunday best) at a conference in Switzerland. The forum moderator said that Khalilzad had an advantage "of having a name that is not John Bolton." Horrors! Let the bombing of Switzerland begin!

Adding insult to injury, Iranian officials were on the same stage as Ambassador Khalilzad, and we know it's verboten to be seen anywhere near the devilish Iranians. No one dares insult the mighty Porno 'Stache in wingnuttia.

Goodbye, Rudy Tuesday

Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna to miss you.

Well, not really. Anyway, he'll probably endorse Walnuts! for the Rethug nomination.

Sadly, we will miss John Edwards, who spoke on behalf of the millions of Americans who live below the poverty line, and who don't have lobbyists arguing for them. His wife Elizabeth was an inspiration. Let's hope they play a large role in the next (Democratic) administration.

Rock Star Rudy!

From a WaPo item on Giuliani's campaign in the last few days:

". . .Giuliani had the benefit of having a professional actor in his entourage. 'This is great!' [John] Voight said, after taking the stage in St. Petersburg and finding a crowd that would fit in a living room. When an even smaller audience greeted Giuliani in Fort Myers, Voight pronounced: 'This is like the Beatles or something.'"

The "or something" would be a one car parade.

UPDATE: Buh bye, Rudy! We'll miss your creepy self.

A Little Levity

While we're still mourning the loss of our uncle Rich, it might be time to start laughing a little, too. To that end, there were some entries in the latest WaPo's "Style Invitational" that were chuckle-worthy. The contest was to provide mottoes or tourism slogans for countries around the world. Here are some of the best:

China: Come Visit Your Money (Ira Allen, Bethesda)

Denmark: Oh, So Nothing's Rotten in YOUR Country? (Brendan Beary)

Germany: Genocide Free Since 1945! (Cy Gardner, Arlington)

Greenland: Site of the 2060 Summer Olympics (J. Larry Schott, Gainesville, FL; Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, ND)

India: For More Information, Press 1 (Matthew Morris, Rockville)

Iran: World's Largest Non-American Theocracy (Ira Allen)

Mexico: A Little Less Crowded Every Day (Dan Milam, Paducah, KY)

We're sure Uncle Rich's shoulder-rolling laugh can be heard somewhere in the distance...

Our Uncle

Our uncle, Richard, passed away this afternoon, about 3 months after his wife of 47 years, Barbara, died. A decorated World War II vet (China-Burma-India theater), artist, conservationist, and crafts teacher for the State of Wisconsin, Uncle Rich was a creative, warm, generous, funny and fun-loving man whom we loved all our lives. He's almost the last relative we have left in the generation of our parents. He will always be remembered and missed.

That Flip, He's One Smart Bidness Man!

Willard "Mousse/ Muff/ Flip" Romney's latest strategy is to puff up his business experience as a credential for fixing the economy. Yes, Willard, if we only had a former bidnessman at the helm of state today, why this econo -- what? Dumbya was an oil man and baseball executive before he was governor of Texas and preznit? How did a sharp guy like you let that one get by you? Oh, you have to take a call from Gov. Schwarzenegger? Go right ahead.

Meanwhile, WaPo's Ruth Marcus ranks the economic stimulus plans of the various Democratic and Rebunglecan candidates. Here's what she had to say about bidnessman Willard's:

"(Grade) D. Romney's plan is way too big ($233 billion) and badly constructed (most of the stimulus goes to business breaks, his individual tax credits don't go to those who need them most, and his huge, long-term tax cuts would harm growth if not paid for). You don't have to be a Harvard Business School grad to understand that encouraging savings is not stimulative."

This Comes As No Surprise

A study by two independent journalism organizations has documented repeated instances where the Bush Assministration made hundreds of false statements - - 935 to be exact - - concerning Iraq as a threat to our national security from September 11, 2001 to the 2003 invasion. The study indicates that the Assministration wanted to build public opinion for an attack on Iraq, and used false information in the process. The study also notes that the major media organizations propagated the false information without any independent checking or verification of the claims being made.

Then there's this little nugget in Newsweek. Was Dumbya's invasion of Iraq based more on the Bush family's well known hatred and fear of Saddam Hussein, and a lot less on national security? Again, comes as no surprise.

Curtains for Foghorn?

The campaign of Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson seems to be grinding to a halt after another disappointing showing in the Rethug primaries, this time in South Carolina. Once touted as the "Great Right Hope", Foghorn's only been getting in the single or low double digits in voters, with Hucksterbee siphoning off many of the "I hear God's voice" vote. His laid back campaigning style has left Rethugs cold, although it's done wonders for insomniacs. Speculation is that he's going to pull the plug soon, now that he's cancelled his appearance Thursday on the Fux Channel.

UPDATE: Yep, he announced he's pulling out. Now Foghorn and his young wife will be able to spend more quality time together. If he can stay awake.

My Pet Bull

Well, it seems Wall Street hasn't reacted with confidence to Dumbya's floated stimulus package, even after the Fed dropped the prime rate by 3/4 percent this morning. The Fed was hoping to stave off a precipitous NYSE market drop today, following 5 to 7 1/2 percent drops in Asian and European markets on Monday. Apparently, early indications are the boys on Wall Street aren't so sure about Dumbya's months- late- billions- short "flexible" (read: "desperate") $150 billion proposal. Even now, Dumbya's press suckertary, Dana Perino, is denying that we're headed into a recession, saying it's more of a "slowdown." In other words, Dumbya's over in the corner reading "My Pet Bull" to anyone who's still listening.

Photo: Dumbya's 9/11 "My Pet Goat" moment.

The Great Smear Mystery

In 2000, Sen. "Walnuts" McCain was running in the Rethugs' South Carolina primary for the presidential nomination. His only opposition was none other than George "Dumbya" Bush. An anonymous smear campaign was launched against McCain, which alleged that his wife was a drug abuser and his adopted Bangladeshi daughter was an illegitimate African-American baby that McCain fathered. McCain lost the primary.

As Glenn Greenwald points out, the mainstream media has always avoided probing the source of the smears, although it was obvious that the only beneficiary was Dumbya, who was the kind of guy the dopes in the media "wanted to have a beer with." The media never followed the trail of the smear back to its origin in likeable Dumbya's campaign, which was being run by Rove. To this day, they act mystified as to where the smear could have come from. Now, eight years later, during this primary season, they're trying to make amends with some rather fawning press for Walnuts. The more things change, etc.

Recommended Reading

Two op/ed articles in today's WaPo deserve to be read, one by Andrew Bacevich ("Surge to Nowhere") the other by Paul Starr ("Watch it, Democrats. You Could Still Slip Up"). The Bacevich article is a healthy antidote to op/ed vomit from Fred "Surge" Kagan and Michael O'Hanlon also in today's WaPo, counseling "patience" in Iraq. Bacevich's essential point is that, "surge or no surge, the Iraq war remains an egregious strategic blunder that persistence will only compound."

Starr's piece cautions Democrats to back off the racial/ gender politics which will only divide the party and give the Rethugs wedges to use in November, and rather focus on the deteriorating economy and "the manifest failures of conservative Republican leadership."

Quote of the Week - Crackpot Edition

"I'm here to tell you, if either of these two guys get the nomination, it's going to destroy the Republican Party. It's going to change it forever, be the end of it." --Crackpot pill-popper Rush Limbaugh, Jan. 15, referring to McCain and Hucksterbee. One hopes Limpballs, who is never right about anything, is right about this.

RUDY! 9-11!

LOSER!

America's Mayor of 9-11, Rudy Toot Tooty, is slipping badly in the polls, as his brilliant strategy of focusing on a third or fourth place finish in Florida doesn't seem to be taking hold nationwide. Also, it seems that the more Rudy Toot campaigns, the lower his polls go. Hmmmm, wonder why?

Best Team Mascot

The Rhode Island School of Design may not field the most impressive teams in hockey, basketball, etc., but they have the most, er, interesting mascot: "Scrotie".

Score!!!!

A Ripoff, Franks-ly Speaking

It seems as retired General Tommy "Dumbya's Army" Franks lent his name to- - and got $100,000 from - - veterans "charity" groups that were more interested in lining their pockets with contributions than actually helping veterans. The groups, Help Hospitalized Veterans and the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes Foundation, paid Franks the big money to endorse the "charities", which according to the American Institute for Philanthopy, were ripping off contributors by only providing a very small portion of donations to the veterans.

Franks later expressed "misgivings" about the "charities" and withdrew his support. No word on whether his conscience prompted him to return the $100,000.

Dumbya to MoDo's Rescue

It's nice to know that the Bush Assministration has no ulterior motive in making sure that New York Times columnist Maureen "MoDo" Dowd gets over the tummy turmoil that she suffered during Dumbya's tour of palaces in the Middle East. Her ride on Air Force One is really neat! MoDo has been snarkily dismissive of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John Edwards in her columns over the past year. If she gives the Preznit some slack in the coming months, we'll know that the ol' Dumbya charm worked. Or maybe it was the tainted falafel the Bushies fed her.

Wingnuts Betrayed!

As we noted yesterday, former Michigan Rethug congressman Mark Siljander has been indicted on 42 counts relating to laundering money for al Qaeda and the Taliban. The cries of betrayal from the wingnut world have been very amusing to watch, as if Rethug corruption was something new. Horror of horrors, fetch us the smelling salts! Bwahahahahaha!

One case in particular stands out: the detestable right wing blogger "Dirty Debbie" Schlussel actually worked for Siljander in the 1980s. Usually, her blog is full of vile bigotry, and of hate for anyone to the left of David Duke. Dirty Debbie says she is crushed that her hero turned out to be a shill for the jihadists that she fights every day with her keyboard. Life's a beotch, DD, deal with it!

Peels from The Onion

We take a few moments to reflect on The Onion's take on Dennis Kucinich and America's first Indian American Governor, Bobby Jindal. We were hoping to see a comment on the Jindal ascension from our friend Ramesh "I Google Myself, Therefore I Am" Ponnuru, whose parents must also "be so close to being proud," but nothing, alas.

Why Do Rethuglicans Hate America?

Former Michigan Rethug congressman Mark Siljander has been indicted on charges of money laundering, conspiracy and obstruction in a scheme to provide money to an al Qaeda and Taliban supporter. In a 42-count (!!) indictment, Siljander, who was also appointed by Ronnie Raygun to serve as a delegate to the U.N., is accused of lying about lobbying Senators on behalf of an Islamic charity that was funneling money to the terrorist groups. Rethug private enterprise.

Guess his endorsement of a Rethug presidential candidate won't be welcomed.

Swift Boaters Attack

Well, we were off by one primary, but the story was true (see "McCain To Be Swift-Boated?", Jan. 3 Hackwhackers). The bizarre pond algae of the far, far-right known as the "Swift Boaters" have launched their attack on Walnuts McCain, accusing him of being a traitor in Vietnam. The 2-page attack mailer was sent by the "Vietnam Veterans Against McCain" to 80 newspaper editors across South Carolina yesterday (it's not known from what sanitarium the mailers were sent, however).

At least one of these deeply disturbed people runs a web site (usvetdsp.com) that's a fetid stew of anti-McCain, anti-"Barack Hussein Obama," etc., screeds combined with advertisements for Gathering of Eagles, "Aroma Boutique"(!), "Posh Maternity Boutique"(!!), and something called "Crusader Pork Shot Hand Ointment"(!!!). Oh, and Duncan Hunter for President bumper stickers. Love that crazy Rethug base!

Photo: Walnuts reacting to an application of "Crusader Pork Shot Hand Ointment" to his nether regions.

"He'll Say Anything To Win"

Newsweek's Jonathan Alter has a nice recap of Willard Flip/Mousse/Mutt Mitt Romney's victory in his home state of Michigan. The bottom line is this political chameleon is changing his "persona from a panderer to an outsider" to appeal to people disaffected with Washington. (Strange, but I thought that, except for the last year, the Rethuglicans were in control of the White House for 6 years, and Congress for 12 years). As the article points out, this is comical for a second generation politician, whose father became a lobbyist, who is the classic country club Rethuglican.

The one factor that distinguishes Willard is his deep pockets; he can spend his own money in the "Super Tuesday" states, and potentially walk off with the majority of delegates. As Alter says, "he'll spend anything, and say anything to win. . ."

Spreadin' Freedom, Dumbya-Style

"If I give you a little squeeze, will you sell us yer oil fer $50 a barrel, King?"

Unfortunately, Dumbya's charm doesn't seem to have turned their opinion of him around. From an article in today's WaPo:

"One reason for greater Saudi independence. . .is that the Saudis have begun to doubt American competence and are looking to forge their own relations with rising powers such as China and regional rivals including Iran. . . while publicly polite, the Saudi king and other leading figures also see the incumbent U.S. president as a disappointment. . .former officials and others close to the royal family say Saudi royals believe Bush has handled issues such as Iran, Iraq and Middle East peace ineptly." [Emphasis added]

Somewhere in Texas...

... there's a village not missing its idiots.

Image: Cletus Spuckler, Woohoo County (TX) Republican Chairman, and UFO/ Rapture true believer. "Hey, I seed Ron Paul get into one o' them thangs last night!"

(h/t to Brian)

"F*cking" This, and "A**hole" That!

Willard "Muff/Mousse/Flip" Romney's campaign has put out, apparently without any sense of irony, a press release entitled "The McCain Way: Attack Republicans/ A Top Ten List..." The list includes some of the occasions when Walnuts McCain had a moment of clarity and identified a fellow Rethug as a "f*ucking jerk," "a**hole" or some other perfectly accurate descriptor. Willard's sense of Christomormon decency and restraint no doubt precluded him from letting his p.r. folks publish the full Anglo-Saxon spellings of the words in question.

Dumbya's Crusade Continues

In his farewell tour of the Middle East, Dumbya continues to amaze with his running commentaries. For example, in Israel, he noted that the conclusions reached in December's National Intelligence Estimate that Iran had suspended its nuclear weapons program years ago don't reflect his own views. Views which he extracts from his rear end when the need suits him. Meanwhile, he continues to make bellicose statements toward Iran to appease President Cheney and the Sunni monarchs that are increasingly nervous about Shite Iran's influence in the region, thanks in no small part to the turmoil that Bushit unleashed with the Iraq war.

However, it's one of the rare times when you will see a story with "Bush" and "intelligence" in the same sentence.

(photo: "Mr. President, do you have to fart during our national anthem?"
AP/Monsivais)

Buyer's Remorse

The New York Times' "public editor" Clark Hoyt has a column in which he states that the New York Times made a mistake in giving William "Wee Willie" Kristol an op-ed position a couple of weeks ago. Nearly 700 messages were received by the New York Times, and all but one was critical of the hiring. Wee Willie notoriously suggested in 2006 that the New York Times should be prosecuted for divulging that the Bush Assministration was sifting through international banking records looking for terrorists. Hoyt writes because of Wee Willie's contempt for the First Amendment, "this is not a person I would have rewarded with a regular spot in front of arguably the most elite audience in the nation." Wee Willie also refused to talk to Hoyt about this matter prior to publication.

Too late. You've got Wee Willie for a year. Enjoy.

Quote of the Week

"...[T]here's a huge crowd of self-described conservatives standing around the Republican elephant shouting 'Do something!'" --Jonah "Doughy Pantload" Goldberg in the 1/13/2008 WaPo (yet another validation for my canceled subscription). That's not the way to potty-train a conservative, as Mr. Pantload would know had he been potty-trained himself.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

We've been noticing the appearance of the poll-tested word "Change" at rallies for candidates of both parties, but it is truly risible when it shows up at Rethug rallies, don't you think? Just look at this collection of, ahem, middle-aged white men and tell us what about them suggests "change?" (Not pictured: Walnuts McCain, who reeks "change.")

Perhaps, as Walnuts pointed out, it can be applied to political chameleon Willard "Mousse/ Muff/ Flip" Romney, since he's changed his position on basic issues so often.

Or perhaps "change" could be applied to Rudy Toot Tooty, since he changes wives/ mistresses as often as he changes his oil (or perhaps because change is what Rudy is paying his staff these days).

Or perhaps "change" could be applied to sleepy Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson, since it's about time he changed into his "lumberjack" shirt and climb into his red pickup truck to show (every election cycle anyway) that he's a "man of the people."

Or Ron Paul, who will change everything back to the 17th Century.

Or Hucksterbee, who wants to change us back into a "Christian nation."

The one candidate it couldn't be applied to is Walnuts, since he would adhere to Dumbya's Iraq "strategery" for 100 years, if necessary.

Change -- it's a wonderful thing.

Photo: l. to r., Paul, Hucksterbee, Rudy Toot Tooty, Flip, and zzzzz. Which one needs to be changed?

"The Talibangelist Times?"

Talibangelist squirrel Pat Robertson is reportedly considering making an offer to buy the Virginian-Pilot newspaper. Robertson, who has endorsed Rudy Toot Tooty for preznit (how's that coming along, Pat?), apparently has enough cash from his easily-led 700 Club flock to make the bid for the Virginian-Pilot, whose worth is unknown but has a 186,000 circulation in Tidewater Virginia. Reportedly, Robertson had problems with the newspaper in the past for delving into his shady business dealings and operations of his fundamentalist Regent University. If he succeeds in his quest, expect to see the likes of this and that in the editorial pages.

(h/t to Right Wing Watch)

Friday Night Smackdown?

Could this lead to an eventual death-cage match between, say, "Father" Bill Donohue (in the red corner for the Catholic League) and Tony "Psycho" Perkins (in the white corner for the Family Research Council)? Ah, those illegal alien Meskins seem to be gettin' aid 'n' comfort from them Catholics! An' them white conservative evangelistic Republicans don't like it one bit! This calls for reasonable minds among the Republican... huh, what? Oh, right. Silly us.

Photo: Maximo is available as a rasslin' trainer for Donohue and/or Perkins (or more if they'd like).

Try Again, Dumbya

On his farewell tour of the Middle East, Dumbya arrived in Kuwait, and promptly showed the Kuwaitis his gift for mucking up the facts. "You know, women are now very active in the Kuwaiti Parliament," the glib Presidunce said. This was a surprise to his Kuwaiti hosts, since there are no women in the Kuwaiti Parliament.

To give you an idea of how far the U.S. image has suffered under this Assministration, some 63% of Kuwaitis worry that the U.S. could become a military threat, with 26% seeing the U.S. as Kuwait's biggest threat. This from the country that we liberated from Saddam Hussein in 1991.

Photo: Dumbya using his 'magination to see them Kuwaiti women lawmakers.

Rethug Quitters, Cont'd.

California Rethug Congressman Tom "Doo" Doolitle is leaving Congress after his current term ends. Doo is being investigated as part of the Abramoff influence buying scandal, and has been under pressure from his fellow Rethugs (whom he now calls "weasels") to resign. It looks grim for Doo's case; oh well, maybe he can bunk with fellow Rethug, and current convict, Duke Cunningham.

Coulter Delivers a Eulogy, and More Wingnut Humor

If crazy (M)Ann Coulter hadn't injected politics into an elegiac column for her father, this Chris Kelly piece at HuffPo would be mean. As it is, it's hilarious.

And here's a a clip showing Hucksterbee dissing sleepy Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson after last night's Rethug "debate."

If you need more wingnut humor, O'Really? thinks he should be on the Supreme Court. Justice Ginsburg, would you like falafel with your loofah shower?

Photo: (M)Ann Coulter with her Adam's Apple mercifully not shown.

Happy Birthday, Tricky Dick

Is it hot where you are?

The Mephistopheles of American politics would have been 95 today. The Rethuglican Party has so much to be thankful for. Sock it to me, Tricky! Slap my hand, white soul man!

(hat tip: Lawyers, Guns and Money)

Spoiler Alert

Today's theme seems to be about assholes. Mega-bucks and mega-ego NY Mayor Michael Bloomberg, fresh from his moribund gathering of political corpses (Sam Nunn? Christine Whitman?? Chuck Robb???), has been conducting nationwide polling to gauge interest in a 2008 "independent" presidential bid. The twee political chameleon (Democrat to Republican to independent) is apparently hearing a swelling chorus of voices urging him to run -- and be the spoiler in '08 -- voices heard primarily in his swelled head.

It is commonly believed that a Bloomberg run, though doomed, would draw more Democrats and Democrat-leaning independents than it would Rethugs in a general election, thus potentially giving the Rethugs another 4 years to wreak havoc on America. Another sign that we may be subjected to this man's mega-ego: the "Unity'08" group is reportedly getting ready to re-form as a draft-Bloomberg organization, whose cogs will be oiled with some of Bloomberg's billions. Yeah, right... draft.

Surging In Afghanistan?

Last year was the deadliest year for U.S. troops in Afghanistan since 2002. Now, the Pentagon is close to sending an additional 3,000 troops there to counter an expected Taliban spring offensive.

The detoriating situation in neighboring Pakistan, with the growth of the al Qaeda/Taliban there, should clearly demonstrate that the Iraq debacle was the wrong war, at the wrong place, at the wrong time. But at least Poppy Bush is happy that his idiot son got rid of Saddam Hussein.

"I Had Surgery On My Ass"

(OK, we admit this one is way too obvious/ easy, but we can't resist.) CNN/ ABC/ wingnut radio cement head Glenn Beck announced he had surgery recently that, apparently, was botched. "I had surgery on my ass," the wingnut wunderkind admitted. The surgery, which was to correct the condition shown in this pre-op picture of Beck, was clearly unsuccessful since he continues to have his head up his ass.

Photo: pre-op, post-op, what's the diff?

"Calling Dr. Phil, Tweety Needs You!"

Think Progress documents Chris "Tweety" Matthews' continuing, pathological obsession with the "Clenis". He's saying that Sen. Clinton's successes are a result of Bill Clinton's philandering. Without any shred of evidence backing his claim. Please follow the link at the end of Think Progress' post to understand how much this hack is obsessed with the Clintons' sex life.

Tweety needs an intervention. His "Hardball" shows are an endless smear-fest against the Clintons in specific, and Democrats in general, while he swoons endlessly over the "manly" Foghorn Thompson and Walnuts McCain as "real men" and heroes worthy of his goofy praise. It was painful to watch him with Keith Olbermann last night, as Tweety went off into one of his rhapsodies about Walnuts' heroism, after Walnuts' flat victory speech was mocked by everyone as being a patchwork of platitudes assembled from his staff.

Very Interesting

Theories abound as to Sen. Clinton's surprising win over Sen. Obama in the New Hampshire primary. Clinton thinks it was her performance in the weekend debate that gave her the narrow victory. Others range from her emotional response to a question at a campaign appearance on Monday which spurred older female voters to rally to her side, to having the majority of independent voters decide that the closer race would be between Walnuts McCain and Willard Flip/Mousse/Mitt Romney so they voted there instead of for Obama.

The certain outcome is that it has created a more interesting race; it won't be a coronation of either Clinton or Obama. The primaries in Nevada, South Carolina, and super Tuesday are ahead, and the race is still fluid.

Meanwhile, on the Rethug side, it's Walnuts and Hucksterbee favored going into Michigan and South Carolina. Michigan will likely be Willard Flip/Mousse/Mitt's last best shot, but he'll pay what's necessary to stay alive. And Foghorn Fred, once the Rethuglican's Last Best Hope? ONE PERCENT OF THE VOTE! Hopefully, "Law and Order" has some scripts for him soon.

"Iron My Shirt!"

Hackwhackers brings you the exclusive picture (left) of who we believe to be the two Rethug guerrilla (gorilla?) theater wannabees who interrupted a Clinton rally in Salem, NH, yesterday demanding that she "Iron my shirt." If only she could iron their shirts while they're still wearing them...

Note: to those out there who think these were Clinton plants, the black helicopters are waiting to take off with you.

Get A Grip, Lou

Just caught the delusional Lou "Meskin Menace" Dobbs on CNN's "Situation Room." Wolf "Man" Blitzer opened by asking Dobbs if he had ruled out running for President. (Let's wait a moment until the laughter subsides).

The self-important talking head responded that, while he never says "never", it's not looking like something he wants to do. Doesn't fit his temperament. Of course not. To run for office would expose this obnoxious bloviator to scrutiny that his colleagues and superiors at CNN have never exposed him to. Can you imagine how quickly this blow-dried souffle of a Tee Vee personality would collapse in an actual political campaign? Dobbs imagines his supporters number in the millions, but in truth, he'd be lucky to out-poll Rethug Duncan Hunter, or crazy Dem Mike Gravel.

Looking for the Gulf of Tonkin?

Initial reports indicate that the Iranians played chicken with U.S. naval vessels in the Strait of Hormuz. But with the Bushit Assministration's fetish with provoking a war with Iran, and their lying to push us into that war (as they did with Iraq), it creates doubt as to the circumstances. A Bushit legacy if there ever was one.

The Gulf of Tonkin at the time looked like a clear case of North Vietnamese aggression against our forces in the South China Sea, but history told a different story. This story is still unfolding.

Wee Willie, Big-Time(s) Columnist

Wee Willie Kristol, ace pie-catcher and now the New Yawk Times' latest blunder, debuted on the op/ed page Monday, taking Nixon apologist William Safire's slot. (Wee Willie, you might recall, was canned at Time, where he was inexplicably replaced with a Bush-league wanker, Ramesh "I Google Myself, Therefore I Am" Ponnuru.)

M.J. Rosenberg at TPM Cafe says it wasn't pretty (Rethug National Committee talking points seldom are). Andrew Rosenthal, the useful tool, continues to deconstruct the paper of James Reston and Russell Baker. Someone stop him before he pinches off another one.

UPDATE: Wee Willie couldn't complete his first poo flinging without making an error. As is being noted far and wide, he misidentified winger Michelle "Cheerleader" Malkin as the source of a quote in his column.

Shoulda Slugged Him

Several news agencies reported on the confrontation between Fux News prima donna Bill O'Really(?) and an aide to Senator Obama at a rally on Saturday. O'Really(?) pushed his ass up to the security cordon that separates the candidate from the press and public, wanting to catch Obama off guard. Seeing this, a number of Obama supporters greeted the Fux celebrity with the middle finger salute, and shouts of "hatemonger" and "f**k you" - - which was restrained, considering the Fux man's provocation.

After some shoving with the Obama aide and Secret Service men, O'Really(?) eventually got his 5 seconds with Sen. Obama. But it's a shame that the arrogant Fux man didn't get a nice knuckle sandwich first.

Quote of the Week

From the January 5 Rethuglican debate in New Hampshire:

"I just wanted to say to Governor Romney, we disagree on a lot of issues, but I agree that you are the candidate of change." - - Sen. John "Walnuts" McCain, skewering Willard Flip/Mousse/Mitt Romney, political weathervane extraordinaire.

Hee hee hee.

Pundits Flameout in Iowa

Glenn Greenwald has a great post on the wishful/magical thinking of many pundits regarding what they thought would be Hucksterbee's Iowa showing. From Joe Klein to Michelle Malkin, they completely missed (or ignored) what was happening on the ground in Iowa. Next wishful/magical thinking moments: Obama won't translate his Iowa win to a win in New Hampshire; Walnuts McCain is BACK!! Ronald Raygun is being kept alive cryogenically!

9/11, 9/11, 9/11. . .

Ah, Rudy. How do you suppose he framed his 6th place finish in Iowa? Riiiiight.
"None of this worries me," Rudy Toot Tooty claimed, "September 11 - there were times I was worried."

Maybe he was worried people would start talking about how the fire department's radios were incompatible with the police department's, or maybe about his decision to place the emergency command center in the World Trade Center complex. Or maybe about Bernie Kerik's use of an apartment set aside for rescue workers in order to bang Judith Regan. Or. . . .well, you get the idea.

Obamarama Time

An impressive win for Senator Obama in Iowa. No matter who you support in the Democratic Presidential field, watching Sen. Obama's speech after his victory in Iowa last night was moving. He hits all the right notes, if not for the Democratic core, then certainly with the general electorate. Several talking heads compared his message to Bobby Kennedy's. The voter turnout was a story in itself. Young Democratic and independent voters turned out in record numbers, far more than on the Rethuglican side. This bodes ill in the future for Rethuglicans, who count on low voter turnout / voter supression tactics to elect their candidates. On to New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina.

Meanwhile, Hucksterbee captured the nod on the Rethuglican side thanks to a large turnout of evangelical conservatives, which is sending the Rethugs' economic plutocrats and neocon warriors to the fainting couch. Many people are now observing that after decades of cynically and transparently cultivating the votes of the evangelicals, the Rethug elites have a frontrunner that doesn't belong to their country club, and doesn't seem to want to play their music. Such a shame, after all that deception.

An added bonus to Huck's win is that Willard/Flip/Mutt/Mousse Mitt Romney blew millions of his own money to come in a distant second. Now, he'll either have to disinherit one of his sons, or cut back on his cosmetics. Easy choice: see ya, son!

McCain To Be Swift-Boated?

Grrr!!! If you think Walnuts McCain is angry here, wait until Monday! The blogosphere is rife with the rumor that a book to be out on Monday, January 7 (the day before the New Hampshire primary) will swift-boat Walnuts McCain. The rumor is vague and could apply to several candidates, but some of the betting is that Gerard "Apocalypse Now" Kiley, head of Vietnam Veterans Against John McCain and leader of the "swift-boat" smears on John Kerry in 2004, is going to try to paint Walnuts as having sold out his country while a POW in Vietnam (!) and is doing Vietnam's bidding now for fear of exposure (!!).

Clearly Mr. Kiley has taken way too many concussive blows to the head... While we're not fans of McCain's politics, we believe he's a man who served his country courageously. If this takes place as advertised, it only will demonstrate to the world what absolute loons there are out there on the far right Rethug fringe, and that they'll stop at nothing to damage their political enemies. One hopes this will lead to the demise of Kiley's group if not his crackpot ideas, but we're not terribly sanguine.

At The Movies

One of the unexpectedly pleasant gifts received at Christmas was seeing "Juno." It's been nominated for 3 Golden Globe awards, and it's a funny, touching and totally captivating movie. The lead character, played by the adorable Canadian actress Ellen Page, is a wise-cracking teen who faces her sudden pregnancy and her options with humor and humanity. The cast is believable and the movie has a raw appeal. It's getting quite the buzz, as it should, so go see it.

The NYT and Nepotism

NYT's Rosenthal with J-Pod: NYT's Next Hire?

The New York Times' announcement over the holiday season that neocon wanker William "Wee Willie" Kristol was going to foul the op-ed pages of that formerly great newspaper set off some fireworks. We're wondering how many media platforms does this smirking chickenhawk need to throw his b.s. from. Although he was just dropped from Time magazine, he has Fux News, the 'Weakly' Standard, and other right wing orifices from which to toot his small horn. And why Wee Willie, since there are so many winger hacks to choose from?

In the background of this story is the undertone of nepotism. A NYT decisionmaker in the Wee Willie hiring was Andrew Rosenthal, son of former NYT biggie A.M. Rosenthal; Wee Willie's the son of neocon figure Irving "Cloudy" Kristol. They join wingnut John Podhoretz, son of crazy "Stormin'" Norman Podhoretz, who wants to bomb Iran yesterday, in the Great Hall of Nepotism. If their last names were Johnson or Smith, they'd be selling used cars in Topeka.

(photo: Documenting the strange resemblence between Andrew Rosenthal, left, and John Podhoretz)