The RNC's New Poster Child

The Obamas took a short trip to New York City last night to take in a Broadway play, a promise the President had made to the First Lady during the campaign. Well, guess who's in a high state of phony outrage at the trip? The Rethuglican National Committee. RNC spokesperson Gail "Gotcha" Gitcho tried her best to spin the trip as a slap at ordinary Americans trying to make ends meet. Yes, Gotcha, thanks of course to 8 years of Rethuglican economic policies that brought us to the brink of a depression. And what would the RNC say about Dumbya's record vacation time -- 490 days! -- at his Crawford "ranch"?

*crickets chirping*

Increasingly desperate to find some issue or event that will reverse their downward slide in the public's opinion of them, the Rethuglican apparatus is looking more foolish each day as they throw spitballs against the wind.

The Dick Lied? Say It Ain't So!

We are shocked, shocked!, that former (Vice) President "The Dick" Cheney has been accused of lying about CIA memos that purport to show that torture techniques worked against al Qaeda prisoners. The Dick engaged in deceit? Perish the thought!

Senate Armed Services Committee chairman Sen. Carl Levin said that an investigation by his committee into the claims of The Dick "gives the lie to Mr. Cheney's claims." The two CIA documents that The Dick claims prove that torture worked say nothing of lives saved, nor the value of torture techniques in obtaining actionable intelligence. Nada.

So let's declassify the documents, and let's have that "Truth Commission" that we've heard about. And let The Dick testify under oath.

News Item

According to an interview in GQ magazine, the daughter of Alaska Gov. Winky You Betcha was offered a car if she broke up with her snowbilly boyfriend Levi Johnston. Johnston said Winky's husband, Todd the Moose Man, was the one offering his former girlfriend the car. Wonder if the Rethuglican National Committee would have been involved in the car purchase?

(photo: Todd the Moose Man conferring with Gov. Winky: "I'm going to offer Bristol a new Ferrari, paid for by the RNC -- what do you think, Wink?")

The Emburrisments Continue

Newly released FBI wiretap transcripts show that Sen. Roland "Emburrising" Burris may be in for a world of trouble over the pay-to-play auctioning of the Senate seat by former Gov. Rod "Let's Make A Deal" Blagojevich. The transcripts show that, in talking with Blago's brother, Emburrising clearly wanted to get the Senate appointment, but was wondering how to get campaign contributions to the former Governor without being discovered.

He's changed his story multiple times in sworn affidavits and testimony, and in the media. There may now be evidence of perjury committed when he testified under oath in the former Governor's impeachment trial that there were no contacts on the subject of contributions in exchange for appointment to the Senate. His ego won't allow him to go voluntarily; he saw this appointment as the highlight of his career, something he had a stong hunger for. Now, it may earn him expulsion and possible time in jail.

You Say "To-may-to", I Say "To-mah-to"

We noticed Wonkette's take on a blog by right-winger Mark "Dumbass" Krikorian where he has a tantrum at National Review Online about having to pronounce Judge Sotomayor's name in the correct Spanish way. He obviously has a problem with the Judge's ethnic background, and wants to Anglicize the pronunciation. He writes that "insisting on an unnatural pronunciation is something we shouldn't be giving in to." Unnatural for who, idiota? Pronouncing the name "Krikorian" naturally, we could come up with "krik-or-REE-an," "krik-or-ree-AN," or "Crack-whore-ian."

The marginalization of the right wing continues. . . .

Jump Around!

If you watch MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann, you'll notice that whenever Pills Limpballs' name is mentioned, a small video loop of his bouncing appearance at the CPAC conference appears in the lower corner of the screen. You have to see it. MSNBC should adopt it for their other evening programming -- Ed Schultz, Tweety, and Rachel Maddow.

Priceless.

The Genius of Turdblossom

Karl "Turdblossom" Rove, the architect of the <hee hee> permanent Rethuglican majority, has a new expertise: judge of academic achievement. When interviewer Charlie Rose noted that Judge Sotomayor graduated from Princeton with honors and went on to Yale Law, Turdblossom said, "I know lots of stupid people who went to Ivy League schools." Well, yeah Dumbya's one, and Rummy is another. But what about Turdblossom's academic achievements? He dropped out of the very non-Ivy League University of Utah after two years. Guess that makes him an expert.

Gen. Petraeus: "The Dick's" New Enemy

Gen. David Petraeus, commanding officer of all U.S. forces in the Middle East, said in an interview Sunday on Radio Free Europe that President Obama's decision to close Gitmo and to end torture of detainees would benefit the U.S.'s fight against terrorism. In doing so, Gen. Petraeus clearly sided with the President against former (Vice) President "The Dick" Cheney, who has been popping up everywhere to claim the opposite.

When he devised the militarily successful surge strategy for Iraq, the wingnuts allowed themselves a premature victory lap, even though Gen. Petraeus was far more cautious and skeptical about the Iraqi government's follow through on reform and reconciliation. Now, no doubt, these very same wingnuts are pounding their tiny fists in anger at Petraeus' rejection of The Dick's statements. Of course, they can always release that anger by enlisting in the armed forces, but as The Dick with his five deferments during Vietnam, they probably have "other priorities."

Mind-Altered State

Former Sen. Norm "Sore Loser" Coleman lost his seat last November to Sen.-elect Al Franken in a close race. And while the Minnesota elections board and a special three judge panel have each declared Franken the clear winner, Sore Loser isn't giving up gracefully. He's dragging out Franken's inevitable swearing-in in order to deny Senate Democrats a 60-vote filibuster-proof majority. Minnesota's Supreme Court is expected to order Minnesota's governor to certify Sen.-elect Franken early next month.

Amusingly, Sore Loser issued a statement yesterday that he intends to review Judge Sotomayor's record "when I am re-elected." <snicker> Yes, "SL", and when I become Emperor, you will be appointed the court jester.

(photo: Normie in more clear-headed days)

Quote of the Day

"If the GOP wants to make a big stand on affirmative action in the context of the first Hispanic-American nominee -- and hence continue its demographic death spiral -- I say bring it on." -- Blogger Scott Lemieux at the American Prospect.

The Rethug politicians likely will step gingerly through that minefield, but their rabid angry base -- fired up by the Pills Limpballs/Manatee/Savage Weiner hate media -- will dive right into it. Let the death spiral continue.

A Supreme Choice

Appeals Court Judge Sonia Sotomayor has been nominated by President Obama to replace retiring Justice David Souter. When confirmed, Judge Sotomayor would be the only Justice with trial judge experience, the Justice with the most experience as a judge, and the first Hispanic woman ever on the highest court. She was appointed to the U.S. District Court bench by President George H.W. Bush, and has served on the Court of Appeals for 11 years. Her modest beginnings in the South Bronx, her scholarship to Princeton, where she finished at the top of her class, and her graduation from Yale Law are an inspiring story of courage and hard work.

Unfortunately, in today's political climate, it's no longer enough to debate a nominee's judicial record. We can expect ads on TV and radio twisting and distorting Sotomayor's record, with the talking, empty heads in the media promoting every false story without checking. In fact, right wing groups already ran preemptive ads that depicted Sotomayor, Judge Diane Wood, and Solicitor General Ellen Kagan as far out of the mainstream, they just didn't know which person would get Obama's nod. He picked a judge that has all the potential to be a great Justice.

Remembering

On this Memorial Day, we remember the sacrifices of the Americans that have served in our armed forces. Our father and two uncles were part of the Greatest Generation who served in a world war, and lived to build a country that sent men to the moon, and to prevail in the Cold War.

We need to be mindful every day of the tremendous sacrifices of those who are serving in our armed forces around the world, and the sacrifices of their families, especially those who have died. We owe it to them above all not to be reckless and arrogant when we put our military forces in harm's way.

Limpballs' Counterattack Will Begin In 3... 2...1...

Former Homeland Security Secretary and Pennsylvania Governor Tom "Don't Burn the Bridge" Ridge said on CNN that Rethuglican leader Pills Limpballs can be "shrill" and uses language that offends "very many."

Of course, Limpballs doesn't tolerate any criticism, as Tin Man Steele, and Rethuglican Reps. Gingrey and Cantor have found out. Expect a response from Pills on his radio hate-fest tomorrow, and a "clarification" from Ridge to follow. He'll show them who's boss.

Wingnuts and Waterboarding

Right wing talk show guy "Mancow" Muller of WLS in Chicago agreed to be waterboarded the other day, and found that the experience was indeed "torture." To his credit, "Mancow" had the guts to see what the technique was like, and to speak out. MSNBC Countdown host Keith Olbermann had challenged Fux Channel's resident chickenhawk, Sean "Manatee" Hannity, about a month ago to be waterboarded, after Manatee claimed that he would undergo the torture if donations were made to the families of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans. Olbermann offered Manatee $1,000 per second to be waterboarded, but chickenhawk Manatee backed off and never agreed to the offer.

Olbermann is now donating $10,000 to the Veterans of Valor charity that waterboarded Muller. Waterboarding Manatee Hannity? $1,000 per second. Waterboarding former VP "The Dick?" PRICELESS.

Quote of the Day

". . .Vice President Cheney, when it came to protecting Americans he never went to sleep"-- Willard "Mitt/Mutt/Mousse" Romney, comparing The Dick's speech yesterday to President Obama's on the National Review Online (we refuse to link). That was soooo easy.

A picture is worth a thousand words from Mitt/Mutt/Mousse.

UPDATE: It seems like former Bushie Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge thinks The Dick is full of it, too.

Endangered Species

New polling by the Pew Research Center indicates that the Rethuglican Party is starting to circle the drain. By a margin of 53 to 36, Americans identify with the Democratic Party, a major shift since 2001 when the parties were roughly equal at 43-43 percent.

Well, maybe they're down, but they're not out, and we need to make sure these hacks never regain power in our lifetimes.

Don't Hate Me Just 'Cause I Hate!

There's some internecine warfare brewing among the wingnut hate radio crowd: far right nutbag Michael "The Savage" Weiner attacked both Bill O'Liely and Pills Limpballs for failing to come to his defense over the Savage Weiner's recent barring from entering the United Kingdom because of his hate speech. Calling Limpballs "the biggest disappointment of all," the Savage Weiner proceeds to label Limpballs as "the biggest fraud" and as someone who's "in it for nobody but himself." Well, yeah. And it took you how long to notice that? Oh, we forgot, you're rather self-absorbed yourself.

(photo: Michael "The Savage" Weiner trying to sell herbals to Limpballs, who wasn't buying)

The Dick Needs To Return To His "Undisclosed Location"

The Dick doesn't seem to know when his time is up. Of course, he's getting encouragement from the mainstream media, and the neocons and Likudniks who cheered the Bushit Assministration's devastating policies in the Middle East, prominent among them the right wing "American Enterprise Institute" where The Dick is speaking today. They're actually portraying President Obama's speech on national security and The Dick's fabrications as somehow an equivalent news event.

The repeated claim that Dumbya and The Dick "kept us safe" overlooks that 9-11 happened on their watch, and happened 30 days after a clear warning from the intelligence community that bin Laden was determined to strike inside the U.S., possibly using commercial airplanes. "You've covered your ass" was the reaction to this warning by Dumbya at his Crawford "ranch." So we don't want to hear The Dick spin stories about how invading Iraq, which had no involvement with al Qaeda or 9-11, helped make us safer, how Guantanamo and their torture program hasn't been a recruitment bonanza for al-Qaeda, and how their torture program produced something other than false information.

Would His Hair Fit On Mt. Rushmore?

We think that there's convincing evidence that former Illinois Governor Rod "Let's Make A Deal" Blagojevich's thatch of hair is robbing his brain of essential nutrients, causing delusions. Why else would he compare himself on The Today Show to FDR, Truman and Teddy Roosevelt? WTF? Talking Points Memo has the video excerpt.

Blago's wife, Patti, is apparently going to Costa Rica to participate in NBC's "I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out Of Here" reality show, instead of her indicted hubby who was told "no" by the court. Mmmm, chowing down on grubs and small varmints! They might have to censor the video when potty-mouth Patti is shown.

(photo: Rod and Patti, a picture of marital bliss)

Quote of the Day

"They get better health care than the average American citizen does." -- Numbskull Rethug Sen. John Ensign, commenting on detainee conditions at Guantanamo, and inadvertently commenting on the need for health care reform in the U.S. -- which he and his fellow Rethugs are sure to fight. We note that before being elected to Congress, Ensign was a Las Vegas veterinarian, so perhaps his idea of "health care" differs from ours.

The Pelosi Diversion, Cont'd.

Some members of Congress have started to come forward to say that the CIA's account of its briefings on the Bushit Assministration's torture program has factual errors.
Sen. Bob Graham is stating that the CIA's notes on the briefings he received were "factually inaccurate," and Rep. David Obey says that a staffer identified as attending a briefing in fact was denied access to the briefing.

The CIA has thousands of non-political, dedicated professionals and was misused by political appointees during the run up to the invasion of Iraq. George "Slam Dunk" Tenet and Porter "The Dick Is My Boss" Goss were up to their eyebrows in providing what Dumbya and The Dick wanted to see and hear, cherry-picking intelligence, overemphasizing some data and underemphasizing other data depending on how it fit the Dumbya/The Dick agenda. Now the Rethuglican operation is desperately trying to shift the spotlight to what House Speaker Nancy Pelosi knew. Unfortunately for them, her claims to have been misled by the Bush-era CIA are gaining more credibility as the days pass.

Again, we need a Truth Commission.

Quote Of The Day

"It can be a Party for a 24-year old pro-sex woman." -- Meghan McCain, speaking on The Colbert Report, about how she would reshape the Rethuglican Party.

We really love you, Meghan, but we wouldn't worry about the "pro-sex women" demographic. Rethug women have competition from 24 year-old pro-sex men -- just ask Larry Craig, Mark Foley, etc. etc.

Dumb and Dumber

Climate-change legislation will be developed and debated this summer and fall. As one might expect, the Rethugs are in a de-evolutionary spiral to see who can come up with the most ignorant, knuckle-dragging comment about global climate change. With contestants such as Reps. Joe "Methane is Fartin'" Barton (Rethug-TX), Dana "My Mommy Wanted a Girl" Rohrabacher (Rethug-CA), and Sen. James "Duh" Inhofe (Rethug-OK), this will be a hard-fought competition. Here, courtesy of today's WaPo, are several (un)worthy candidates already under consideration:

"The idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen that is harmful to our environment is almost comical"-- Rethug House Minority "Leader" John "Man Tan" Boehner (aka "Boner"). The article helpfully points out that, of course, no one is on record suggesting such a thing. But strawmen can be so fun to make for your pea-brained base to froth about.

"We're cooling. We're not warming" - Michael "Tin Man" Steele in March. Maybe you thought the question was about Rethug prospects, My Gangsta?

As Al Gore has been quoted as saying with regard to climate change deniers, "There are people who still believe that the moon landing was staged on a movie lot in Arizona." For Hackwhackers, it only goes to prove the Rethugs are simply adhering to one of the pillars of Republicanism: ignorance.

(Photo: "Man Tan" Boner, the only "comical" thing about the climate change debate.)

The Pelosi Diversion

Are you noticing how the Villagers and mainstream media have jumped on the non-story that Speaker Nancy Pelosi knew about waterboarding and did nothing to stop it? The non-story that the Rethuglicans are eagerly pushing to divert attention from their massive culpability in authorizing torture, not to prevent future attacks, but to extract false confessions regarding an Iraq/al Qaeda tie to justify the invasion? She has maintained that Bushit-era CIA officials misled her. Let's not forget that Pelosi was in the minority and was not Speaker until January 2007, so her power to change the unlawful policies of the Bushit Assministration were limited at best, even if she had been aware of the torture. But does anyone really believe that the last Administration would be honest with a Democratic leader, particularly one who consistently opposed their policies? Not likely.

Let's have that Truth Commission that the Speaker has called for, and see how the Rethugs like that.

Wingnut Warriors

Sadly, No comments on the story about Los Angeles wingnut Andrew "Half Bright" Breitbart mistaking some "protesters" for anti-war Islamofascistocommunistos during an outing with his embarrassed wife recently in Santa Monica. Indulging in hors d'oerves and margaritas at an upscale restaurant, Half Bright notices a large contingent of marching young 'uns nearby, and, feeling his Jose Cuervo, flips them the finger from the safety of the restaurant's veranda, erroneously assuming that they're the above-mentioned Islamofascistocommunistos; they're not, and Half Bright has to retract his extended middle finger, to everyone's amusement. Pity that he can't be parachuted into Afghanistan to fight for his country.

Onward Christian Soldiers

There was always more than a hint of Crusader-style rhetoric from the Bushit Assministration whenever talking about the middle east, and specifically Iraq. Now, we learn that former Secretary of Defense Donald "Demon Rummy" Rumsfeld's office had a habit of festooning the covers of DOD's Worldwide Intelligence Updates to Dumbya with passages from the Bible. Daily Kos has a link to the photos of DOD's covers, published in GQ magazine. Awesome, pilgrim! This should go down well with the Arab "street," who always suspected the invasion of Iraq was about oil and religion.

Apparently, Demon Rummy was preoccupied researching, uhhh, "torture techniques" when the covers were being prepared.

Notre Dame Coda

As a few angry protesters were hauled away, President Obama was greeted with "thunderous applause" by "the vast majority" of the 12,000 people gathered at yesterday's commencement ceremonies at Notre Dame. Obama and Notre Dame's president, Rev. John Jenkins, both appealed to "faith and reason" and for opponents on both sides of the abortion/ stem-cell debate to use "fair-minded words" (Obama even chiding his own campaign web site for its choice of words in the abortion debate).

We would also like to quote extensively from the graduation ceremony remarks of Trinity Washington University president Patricia McGuire yesterday:

"The real scandal at Notre Dame today is not that the president of the United States is speaking at commencement. The real scandal is the misappropriation of sacred teachings for political ends. The real scandal is the spectacle of ostensibly Catholic mobs camping out at Notre Dame for the specific purpose of disrupting the commencement address of the nation's first African American president. This ugly spectacle is an embarrassment to all Catholics. The face that Catholicism shows to our new president should be one marked with the sign of peace, not distorted in the snarl of hatred.

The religious vigilantism apparent in the Notre Dame controversy arises from organizations that have no official standing with the church, but who are successful in gaining media coverage as if they were speaking for Catholicism....They have established themselves as uberguardians of a belief system we can hardly recognize. Theirs is a narrow faith devoted almost exclusively to one issue. They defend the rights of the unborn but have no charity toward the living. They mock social justice as a liberal mythology."

William F. Buckley, Jr.: Public Pisser

The late conservative icon William F. (F...-You) Buckley, Jr. is a subject of his son Christopher's interesting book, "Losing Mum and Pup." Some intriguing details from the book, according to reviewer James Rosen in the WaPo:

"...the famous cosmopolitan and yachtsman, who had his limousine custom fitted so he could spend midtown traffic jams typing out his syndicated column, haggled over luggage fees at the Swissair check-in counter and refused to pay more than nine bucks for a bottle of wine. He was also prone to urinating in public spaces."

Which comports entirely with the conservative view of public property: piss on it.

(photo: WFB, Jr. relaxes, after downing a $9 bottle of wine and relieving himself in Central Park)

"Who Is A Real Catholic"

Catholic author David Gibson has an insightful article in today's WaPo, "Who is a Real Catholic." In it, Gibson uses today's address by President Obama at Notre Dame as a launching pad for exploring how "conservatives have made politics the eighth sacrament, with one's position on abortion and gay marriage becoming the litmus test of whether one is a 'good Catholic' or a Catholic at all." Following much the same argument as the Post's E.J. Dionne earlier this month, Gibson shows how a minority bloc of Catholics, including some Cardinals and bishops, are motivated more -- or have been co-opted -- by a political (read "hard right-wing") agenda rather than by the "inclusive, forgiving, big-church" Catholicism of St. Augustine and the Second Vatican Council.

Gibson has a marvelous quote from the penultimate Pope Benedict - the XV (in 1914!!) - who declared that "no one should consider himself entitled to affix on those who merely do not agree with his ideas the stigma of disloyalty to faith."

Headline of the Day

From CNN's Political Ticker: "GOP Pledges To Work With Obama On Health Care Reform"

Yeah, riiiiight. As they have on other issues. . . .

The Unbearable Lightness of Stupidity

Wow, are we happy the Rethuglicans have Michael "Tin Man" Steele as their party chairman. His latest venture into stupidity (or has he would say, strategy) came at a meeting of the National Rifle (Automatic Weapons Manufacturers) Association, where he stated that Democrats want "to deny Americans their Second Amendment right to own a firearm" and want to "bring terrorists. . . to our communities" after Guantanamo Bay is closed.

Yup, that'll work: getting the militia-minded wingnuts to stockpile weapons and ammo, thinking that the "gubmint" and black helicopters are coming after them, while unleashing Islamofascistoterrorists on their trailer parks.

Please, please, please Rethugs, don't fire this guy. He's exactly what we need.

Huntsman to China

According to an AP report, President Obama is naming Utah Republican Gov. Jon Huntsman as the next Ambassador to China. Huntsman is a moderate conservative (translation for wingnuts: "extreme left-wing") two-term Republican governor in one of the most Republican states. There's been some talk about him being a candidate for the Republican nomination in 2012 as an alternative to the hive-mind wingnut wing. This appointment by the Fascist/Socialist/Dijon Obama should pretty much end that speculation.

Torture and The War

Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, former chief of staff to Secretary of State Colin Powell and a long-time military man, has some choice comments on the unfolding torture story in the Washington Note. Among the nuggets:

-- The Cheney/Bushit Assministration authorized torture techniques well before the memo from the Justice Department providing legal cover;

-- Some of the torture was aimed not at finding out al Qaeda's plans, but at trying to coerce false confessions about a link between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda, which later proved to be false, but which were important to Dumbya's rationale for war against Iraq, along with the false intelligence about WMD.

As this story develops, it's going to lead eventually to an examination of the last Administration's push to go to war against Iraq, and the half-truths and lies it used.

Pelosi vs. MSM

Villagers. Kool Kids of Beltway High. Stenographers for Wingnuttia. Call them what you will, but they certainly have a stiffy for Rethug talking points. Or, as Atrios puts it, "Republicans still rule their world." The torches are lit and the "mainstream media" are marching toward the Castle Pelosi, past the torture chambers of Duke Dick, past the non-existent bridge between al-Qaeda and Saddamville, happy morons taking fresh torches from the smiling Rethugs lining the road.

(Photo: "Oooohooeee-eeeee-oooo-aaahhhhaaaahhhoooo-eeeee! Another press release from Poot the Rethug thinker! Must re-type!")

Ted Sampley

Today comes news of the death of Ted Sampley, 62, a Vietnam vet and once a Vietnam POW/MIA activist, and most recently a hard-core wingnut. Sampley, it may be remembered, was a leader in the Vietnam Veterans Against Kerry, and was a supporter of the Swift Boaters. In Sampley's hive mind, he had Sen. McSame as a "Manchurian candidate" who had betrayed his fellow POWs and aided the North Vietnamese. His web site had frequent denunciations of "Barack Hussein Obama Jr" (sic) and Obama's father's Muslim heritage. Sampley's latest project was to establish a museum of Confederate history, complete with a replica Confederate warship (didn't know they were famous for their naval prowess). That's just a "sampley-ing."

Sampley's life illustrates the fact that you can serve honorably and still be dishonorable.

Weiner Roasting

As we noted on May 5, far right hate speech purveyor Michael "The Savage" Weiner was banned from entering the United Kingdom for his abominable record of hate speech against minorities on his radio show, and in particular Muslims. Now, he's apparently asking Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to intercede with the British Home Office to have his name removed from the banned list. This, after The Savage Weiner has repeatedly smeared and had extremely vile things to say about Secretary Clinton and her family. And remember The Savage Weiner was on the reading list of the Knoxville church shooter who was intent on killing "liberals."

This assclown is among the most extreme hate radio voices, and makes even Pills Limpballs look like the voice of moderation. With a significant Muslim population in the UK, the last thing they need is a bigot like The Savage Weiner traveling there to express his "views." Not that Secretary Clinton would go out of her way to help this sick wingnut.

Teabagging Tax Cheat

Why is this not surprising? Crooks and Liars has this piece about Michael Leahy, a leader of the "teabagging" "grassroots" "movement." Leahy apparently has over $150,000 in State and federal tax liens, judgments, and civil suits hanging over him. No wonder the putz is on the front lines of "the rules are for everyone else; I've got better things to do with my money" crowd.

Leahy also co-founded something called "Top Conservatives on Twitter." Yeah, now I'm impressed!

Viagra Falls On Unemployed

Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer will be making Viagra available for free to people who have lost their jobs. While this may be a disincentive for people who need to get out and look for work, it's clearly a weiner -- er, winner -- for Pfizer.

At least we'll know that something will be expanding in the economy. Yes we can, yes we can!

Somebody Needs More "Target Practice"

Former President Bill Clinton was working the rope line at an appearance for Virginia gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe when he commented on Dead Eye Dick Cheney's recent outbursts. Clinton remarked about the The Dick, "I do hope he gets some more target practice before he goes out again." CNN has the video clip.

Be sure to watch Donna Brazile's excellent comments on the clip, in which she runs the clock out on Rethuglican hack Ed Gillespie. Notice Gillespie's expression when Wolf Blitzer says "all right, guys, we'll leave it there." Well done, Donna! Bwahahahahaha!!

Colbert's Advice to the GOP

Huffington Post has Stephen Colbert's "sound advice" for the GOP, in the throes of its "re-branding" effort.

Best line? Too many to count, but at the very end check out who is the "800 pound gorilla destroying your party."

Ta Da Ta Da Ta Da. . . Charge It!

According to CNN, Alaska Gov. Winky You Betcha has signed a book deal worth several million dollars to tell her "unfiltered" story. This should be amusing. Large print, under 100 pages, lots of pictures, lots of fiction. Maybe she'll disclose a secret crush on Joe (not his real name) the Plumber (not a real plumber).

Winky said, "It will be nice to put my journalism degree to work on this, and get to tell my story..." [snicker] Like we said, this should be amusing. We suggest as a proposed title for Winky's book: "I Already Spent The Advance For This Book At Nieman Marcus."

(illustration by Zina Saunders)

Four Pillars of Republicanism

Unless you can come up with something better, how's this:

Ignorance

Intolerance

Incompetence

Insurrection

Crook Leading Wingnut Swift Boating of Health Reform

You may have heard the radio ad from a Rick Scott, who heads an outfit called Conservatives for Patient Rights. Basically, they're touting private health savings accounts as the best approach to the health care crisis. Well, it seems Mr. Scott has a rather unfortunate background, as Firedoglake reports. As in, a former hospital company of Mr. Scott's had to pay $1.7 billion in a fraud settlement a while back. He also now owns a chain of storefront "clinics" that would, needless to say, be impacted by health care reform. He's also represented by the same p.r. firm that did the Swift boating on Senator Kerry. Did we forget anything? Oh yes, he has a connection with the Fox Nutwork.

Fraud, conflict of interest, sleaze, and lies. The perfect wingnut storm!

(Photo: Slimeball Rick Scott)

Quote Of The Day

"I was waterboarded. . .so I know it is torture. I'll put it to you this way, you give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders." -- former Minnesota Governor and Navy SEAL Jesse Ventura, on "Larry King Live." Well put.

The Talking Dick Tour

Andy Borowitz over at the Huffington Post imagines former (Vice) President Dead Eye Dick Cheney in a sound truck outfitted with the latest loudspeakers travelling to every village and town spreading the message: "Be Afraid." Springing from his undisclosed location, The Dick has unzipped his mouth to opine on torture (OK with him), national security (The Dick kept us safe) and the future of the Rethuglican cult (Limpballs!). Some have speculated that he's trying to build resistance against possible criminal charges that he violated U.S. and international law; on Sunday's "Face the Nation," The Dick said that Dumbya ordered the torture measures and was every bit as aware of what was going on as he was (hard to believe we put the words "aware" and "Dumbya" in the same sentence). I'm sure Dumbya appreciates that bit of disclosure from Mr. 15 percent approval rating.

Actually, Rethuglicans who worry about their disastrous electoral position must cringe every time The Dick erupts. The more he talks, the more independent voters turn Democratic. We here at Hackwhackers want to know how we can contribute to buying gas for The Dick's sound truck.

Fux Fail

The above graphic via Rising Hegemon provides the context of recent polls that show President Obama's approval level remaining high: the Fux Channel's attempts to "teabag" the President on April 15 were an awesome FAIL.

There was a good jab at the Fuxers at Saturday's White House Correspondents dinner, when Obama, after joking that the media voted for him, paused to say, "apologies to the Fox table" to the laughter of the entire room. After 8 years of coasting as supposedly legitimate members of the mainstream media, Fux has become a punchline, a joke that everyone gets.

Time To Change Their Nappies?

It's funny to watch the Rethuglicans trot out this trio on Sunday talk shows: the Rethugs' "new faces." This is the political equivalent of the shuffleboard/Geritol/early bird special crowd. Maybe Michael "Tin Man" Steele can take this trio to his "urban/suburban hip hop settings" and see how they go over.

Headline Of The Day

"Cheney Backs Limbaugh Over Powell On GOP Future"

Because the Rethuglican Party always picks their leaders wisely and carefully.

Just For Laughs

As they do every spring, the Villagers of the beltway media gathered last night in Washington for their annual White House Correspondents Dinner, a black tie affair that mixes elite journalists and celebrities. It's their time to feel important and part of the inner circle, but it's hard to imagine an old-time journalist, with a rumpled suit and worn heels, showing up for one of these glitz fests, but that's where mainstream journalism/infotainment is these days. The New York Times' Frank Rich has a column this morning on this very subject.

President Obama delivered some good one-liners. On Rethuglican boss Pills Limpballs, Obama said that he "doesn't qualify as a troubled asset." (Just drop the "et" from the last word, and he would qualify, Mr. President).

On Dead Eye Dick Cheney: "He is very busy working on his memoirs, tentatively titled 'How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People."

On House Rethug leader John "Man Tan" Boehner: "He is a person of color, although not a color that appears in the natural world."

Poking fun at himself: "I believe that my next 100 days will be so successful I will be able to complete them in 72 days -- and on the 73rd day I will rest."

(photo: Getty Images)

Rethug Sex Blotter, Maryland Edition

Rethug Anne Arundel County (MD) Executive John R. Leopold has been accused by several women of making unwanted advances or of physically abusive behavior. Now the NAACP is getting involved because one of the women charging Leopold with unwanted advances is African-American. The NAACP is asking the Maryland State Attorney General's office to look into the allegations. The latest allegations come three months after Leopold was found in the back seat of his car at a shopping mall parking lot by police investigating a 911 call about people having sex in the car. Police ruled that case "unfounded." (Perhaps Leopold was mastering his domain?)

Hedge Fund Speculators Fold

"The small but staunch lenders group that stood against the sale of Chrysler disbanded Friday, removing the only major obstacle in the Obama administration's plan to quickly restructure the automaker in bankruptcy court...In a televised speech last Thursday, Obama characterized the holdouts as 'speculators' who 'endanger Chrysler's future by refusing to sacrifice like everyone else.'" News item in today's WaPo.

These pieces of s**t are of the same cloth as those that helped bring about the financial crisis we're in today. Yet these Gordon Gekkos were still out for #1. Masters of the Universe, indeed.

"Outrage"

Opening in many theaters this weekend is the Kirby Dick (it's o.k. to laugh) film "Outrage," a documentary about the sexual hypocrites that apparently fill the Rethuglican congressional caucus. The "outrage?" That these deeply closeted clowns (think less-risk-taking Larry Craig types) consistently rail and vote against gay rights by day while getting a little on the down low at night -- well, in Craig's case, not even waiting until night. As Rep. Barney Frank puts it, gay pols "have a right to privacy but not a right to hypocrisy."

The WaPo's Dan Zak has the review, which indicates that a Rethug pol unnamed in Zak's review (but named by, um, Dick in the movie) is a prime focus of the documentary; Zak says only that he may be bound for the 2012 presidential race (well, he might have been until the movie comes out).

Can't wait to see who the mystery stud is. I might've guessed Missy McConnell or Lindsay Graham, but neither of them is a prospective 2012 presidential possibility. Gov. Crist? Not in Congress. Hmmm. We'll have to give that some thought. Any ideas welcome.

UPDATE: A more careful reading of Zak's review reveals that the unnanmed hypocrite with 2012 ambitions is not necessarily in Congress. Therefore, it could be a Governor, former officeholder, etc. So that pretty much leaves it wide open.

UPDATE-IER: According to "Rightpundits.com", the sanctimonious sodomist IS Gov. Charlie Crist (FL). Not a big whup... old news.

(Image: the newest logo of the Rethuglican Party? (= sigh = if only there were a Sen. Ben Dover (R-Ucrazy), this would all be so easy!)

Falling Apples

You have to check out this hilarious satire on the Colbert Report of Fux buffoon Sean "Manatee" Hannity's goofy "Tree of Liberty." Manatee's as dumb as a box of rocks, and is a surefire gift to the folks at Comedy Central. Enjoy.

(illustration: I'll have some apple sauce with the pancakes)

Preemptive Sliming: A Case Study

If you want to understand how a right wing smear develops and is propagated, read John Cole's summation of the excellent piece by Glenn Greenwald in Salon about the New Republic's smearing of Appeals Court Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Sotomayor is one of a number of female judges that would be under consideration to fill Justice Souter's chair when he retires. Apparently, anonymous weasels on the right wing launched a whisper campaign to preempt Judge Sotomayor's consideration by President Obama, and they used a two-legged turd by the name of Jeffrey "Slimer" Rosen, writing in the New Republic, to do the job on the Judge. The article was full of catty, unattributed smears, something that belongs on a bathroom stall.

Bear in mind that Sotomayor, a Princeton (summa cum laude) and Yale-educated jurist, has served on the Second Court of Appeals for over 10 years, and is well regarded as a centrist by the American Bar Association. Undoubtedly, the fact that she worked her way up from a working class Puerto Rican family in the Bronx makes some right wing, silver-spoon elites nervous, as they observe her from their clubs and the cocktail circuit. Tough torts. There are a lot of great choices for the President, but this episode has made us root for Judge Sotomayor all the more.

Advice From Dead Eye Worth Heeding

Former (Vice) President Dead Eye Dick Cheney has offered some advice to the Rethuglican Party: don't go moderate. We strongly urge the Rethuglican Party to follow Dead Eye's sage advice, because if you do adopt more moderate positions, you might actually win some elections outside of the reddest states. We don't want to see that.

One particularly ironic nugget from Dead Eye's musings on Rethug "beliefs and values" was on the "role of government in our society and our commitment to the constitution and constitutional principles." Ah, yes. The role of government, like warrantless wiretapping and politicizing the Justice Department? Like gutting financial and environmental regulations and inserting itself in the Terry Schiavo case? And "commitment to the constitution?" The Constitution that Dead Eye tried to undermine as a "fourth branch" of government, from an "undisclosed location"?

At this point, even a number of Rethuglicans would rather not be reminded of Dead Eye and his follies. But to the extent that he reminds America of what went wrong, we say "keep talking, Dead Eye!"

"More Catholic Than The Pope"

E.J. Dionne's op/ed in today's WaPo, "The Stakes at Notre Dame", has the priceless observation, "We now know that the reaction of right-wing Catholics to Notre Dame's invitation to President Obama falls into the category of 'more Catholic than the Pope.'"

Dionne notes that L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican's official newspaper, offered a quite positive analysis of Obama's approach to "life issues." As Dionne notes, the article demonstrates that the right-wingers' "over-the-top response is rooted at least as much in Republican and conservative politics as in concern over the abortion question."

Dionne goes on to quote from an editorial in the current issue of the Jesuits' America magazine which criticizes the wingnuts' "highly partisan political edge" which has "not escaped the notice of the Vatican." Oops, wankers, you might want to spend less time reading Rethuglican talking points and more time reflecting on what should be left to God and what to man.

Has He Flushed The GOP?

Rethuglican poster boy Joe (not his name) the Plumber (not a plumber) is saying that he's so upset with Rethuglican spending that he's quitting the party. He, of course, was unable to say what spending he'd cut, but that it wouldn't be defense, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, which is two thirds of the Federal budget.

Since the fall presidential campaign, Sam Wurzelbacher has been propped up by Rethug contributors and right wing outfits like "Pajamas Media," delivering monosyllabic remarks to enraptured wingnuts, and posing as a "reporter" covering the conflict in Gaza and barely able to distinguish a Palestinian from a pizza. The Rethug Party philosophy is deeply hostile to real working Americans, and has always fought for the interests of the most wealthy. Covering up this fact is a necessity for them, or they'd never win an election outside of Palm Springs. That's why they need phony props like "Joe the Plumber." Losing "Joe" is a good sign that the Rethug Party has yet to hit bottom in its popularity.

(photo: "Joe" getting his daily intellectual fix from the Cartoon Network)

"He Who Shall Be Obeyed" Is Obeyed

Just the other day, some Rethug elites, including Jeb "Little Shrub" Bush, Eric "Cancer" Cantor, and Willard "Mitt/Mutt/Mousse" Romney, went on a bogus tour to "listen to the American people" in an attempt to con the public after two disastrous losses at the polls. Well, "He Who Shall Be Obeyed" apparently didn't sign off: Pills Limpballs is angry that these Rethugs are "listening" and not lecturing the American public on what a great mistake they made in not voting to continue the awesome policies of Chimpy, Dead Eye, and their wingnut Rethuglican Congress.

Now the Rethug elites have backed down, and are claiming they weren't listening to the people after all. (pause to snicker) As good dittoheads, they just listen to Pills.

(photo: the effects of OxyContin and cheap cigars have taken their toll on Limpballs)

Critical Meetings Today

This is a critical time for President Obama to meet with Afghan President Karzai and Pakistani President Zardari today in the White House. The situation in these neighboring nations is ominous, especially in Pakistan, where the Taliban and al Qaeda have made significant gains since the Iraq war began. Of significant concern is the security of Pakistan's nuclear weapons, with Taliban forces within 60 miles of Pakistan's capital Islamabad. This is one "war" we have to succeed in.

Payback's a Beotch

Senate Democrats seem to be keeping their distance from Sen. Arlen "Weather Vane" Specter: they voted unanimously to strip him of his seniority, so he'll be the lowest ranking Dem on each committee that he sits on. Small wonder. As a new Dem, he voted against the Administration's budget and other bills, said he opposed the Employee Free Choice Act, said he didn't want the Administration's plan for health care to pass, wished Rethug Sen. Norm "The Loser" Coleman would remain in the Senate, and denied that he was a "loyal Democrat."

Maybe there's still time for him to join Sen. Joe Lieberliar's "Party of Joe."

Again, Pakistan

From the earliest days of our blog, we've noted that al Qaeda was not governed from Iraq, but from the Pashtun areas of southern and eastern Afghanistan and western Pakistan. The Iraq war debacle is a 6-year diversion from the fight against the group that attacked us on 9/11. Dumbya and Dead Eye never finished the job, and al Qaeda was allowed to rebuild and reconstitute itself in nuclear-armed Pakistan.

The Obama Administration appreciates the problem, and is focusing on Afghanistan and Pakistan in order to minimize the chances for another, more serious 9/11. Complicating things immensely is a fragile regime in Pakistan, where the civilian government has little or no control over the military and intelligence organizations, much less its territory. Pakistan is insisting that it has firm control over its nuclear weapons, and publically the Administration is going along with those assurances. Hopefully, signs that Pakistan is taking on the Taliban in the Swat valley will be more than just a show, and be the beginning of real progress.

Winky's Followers Target Mittens -- Literally

We love it when the Rethugs start to circle the wagons and begin firing inward. The latest example is a video from Winky's militia, taking, um, a shot at Willard/Mutt/Muff/Mittens Romney, presumably in retaliation for Mittens' dig at Winky over the weekend. Don't you love the way the wingnuts take the idea of assassination so lightly?

Oddly, the two of them are all surface and no substance - like the figures on the top of a wedding cake. A perfect match!

UPDATE: Speaking of circular firing squads, Senate Rethug leader Sen. Mitch "Missy" McConnell has his own fellow Kentucky Rethug Senator Bunning to worry about. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Photo: Winky, loaded for bore)

Weiner Savage Banned in Britain

Right-wing hate radio crackpot Michael Weiner (aka Michael Savage) has been banned for travel to Britain. (Pause here to snicker) The savage Weiner was put on Britain's "name and shame list" which will keep him out of Britain indefinitely. Others on the list announced recently by the British Home Secretary: a neo-Nazi, an Arab extremist, skinhead and KKK leaders, and a homophobe "pastor." The savage Weiner is in good (that is, bad) company.

(Photo: The Brits sure know how to Pick-a-dilly: the savage Weiner)

It's Cinco de Mayo

Take off the surgical masks for a while, and go have a cerveza. Salud!

In-Specter-Clues-0

Several Democrats have warned newly-minted Democratic Sen. Arlen "Weather Vane" Specter that if he doesn't shed some of his Rethuglican positions, he'll face a challenge in the Democratic primary next year. Former Democratic National Committee chair Gov. Howard Dean and AFL-CIO Secretary-Treasurer Rich Trumka are indicating that Specter's acceptance as the Democrat's Senate candidate isn't a given, especially if he goes against the union-backed Employee Free Choice Act and against Obama's health care proposals. He's already voted twice against the Obama Administration, so the signs aren't good that Weather Vane has a clue about which way Pennsylvania political winds are blowing.

Quote of the Day

"I did not say I'm a loyal Democrat." -- Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen "Weather Vane" Specter, on Sunday's "Meet the Press," when asked by Dancin' Dave Gregory whether he told President Obama that he was a loyal Democrat.

This makes it a lot easier for loyal Democrats like Rep. Joe Sestak to run against Weather Vane in the Democratic primary. And let's hope the Obama Administration doesn't put all their eggs in Weather Vane's basket on any issue.

Villager Cokie: "Journalistic Ambien"

Jack Shafer at Slate.com has a razor sharp piece on Villager emeritus Cokie "Okie Dokie" Roberts' NPR stints. We've long noticed Cokie's (hmmm, coke - e) narcotic effect on Steponaflagpinopolous' Sunday morning gas bubble, This Week. Rarely one with an original thought, Cokie likes to parrot whatever last month's conventional wisdom was, attempting to sell it as fresh insight. Shafer hits the Villager on the head when he refers to Cokie's morning radio rap as "journalistic Ambien." One hopes that drivers listening to her won't fall asleep at the wheel.

"From Derangement It's A Small Step To Madness"

In contrast to the increasingly intolerable WaPo editorial page (soon to be renamed the L Street Journal?), we have the NY Times, now 100% Wee Willie free. In particular, see today's op/ed by Frank Rich, taking on the potential for hubris in the Obama Administration and Villager fickleness, and the crystallizing of the Rethugs into a rump party of angry crackpots and delusionals (the latter nicely summarized by Rich).

From today's WaPo. Watch what you step in. (Click on cartoon to enlarge)

Rudy Toot Toot's Not Friends With "Fruits"

Rudy "Toot Toot" Giuliani ducked the wedding of his gay "friends" and former roommates, Howard Koeppel and Mark Hsaio yesterday in Connecticut. The former New York mayor had stayed with the gay couple in their Manhattan apartment while going through a messy divorce from his wife, Donna Hanover, back in 2001. So much for loyalty.

Rudy Toot Toot did his utmost to portray himself as a hero to the American public, despite denying firefighters the necessary communications equipment which would have saved lives on September 11, and who earlier had the city's emergency operations headquarters relocated to near ground zero so that he could be closer to his mistress. Images of him walking aimlessly around lower Manhattan trying to communicate with authorities after the Twin Towers collapsed merely reflected the result of that selfish decision. So much for courage.

Jack Kemp

We are saddened by the death of Jack Kemp, former Republican VP candidate, congressman and HUD Secretary, who died yesterday at age 73 from cancer. It was in his role as HUD Secretary under Poppy Bush that W. Hackwhacker had the opportunity to observe him professionally. Kemp was a supply-side Reagan Republican who also supported immigration reform and helping the poor, minorities and disenfranchised. His heart was generally in the right place even if his politics weren't. In that sense, he was much more the model of the "compassionate conservative" than Dumbya could ever be.

We don't see many of his kind left in his party. We regret that just as we regret his passing.

Great! Another WaPo Wingnut

With this morning's op/ed, "Detroit's CEO in Chief," the WaPo introduces its latest "free market" wingnut, Eva "Hoover Was Right!" Rodriguez. Whoopee! Just what the Post's readership was crying out for: another right-wing columnist, this one concerned about big bad gummint fouling up the auto industry. Whazzat? I was under the impression the "free market" meatballs had done that over the past 30 years.

Why add another Rethug, and why now? One can only assume George Will, Michael Gerson, Kathleen Parker, Charles Krauthammer, Wee Willie Kristol, Fred Kagan, and Paul Samuelson were feeling surrounded by the likes of... Eugene Robinson, E.J. Dionne, and Harold Meyerson??? Chalk this up as another win for Fred Hiatt and Marcus Brauchli, the Rethugs running the Post these days. Rodriguez, who began her career in Miami, represents the Fulgencio Batista wing of the Rethug party. We look forward to her next op/ed on Obama's surrender to the Castro regime.

Whistling Dixie

Now it seems like one-third of Georgia Rethuglicans are mulling over secession from the U.S., at least according to a new Daily Kos/Research 2000 poll. Some 32% of Georgia Rethugs think it might be a good idea for Georgia to become an independent country. (Pause for derisive laughter) Without a doubt, these were probably the loudest voices shouting "traitor" at anyone who opposed Dumbya and Dead Eye. Now who are the traitors, peckerwoods?

Well, the U.S. would certainly be better off without the inbred, low-IQ, trailer park, tea-bagging Klan followers in the Georgia Rethug movement. Better still if they formed battle lines and challenged the full force of the U.S. Army and Marines -- see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

They are the "dicks" in "Dixie."

Praise Th' Lord, And Pass Th' Waterboard

One of the more interesting phenomena of American life is the fact that people who identify as fundamentalist, conservative Christians are the most likely to support military adventures abroad and, it now appears, torture. In a survey conducted by the Pew organization, 54 percent of the Bible-thumpers said that torture was "often" or "sometimes" justified in the interrogation of suspected terrorists. Ah yes, such good Christians.

Actually, listening to the sermons of Southern evangelical or pentecostal "ministers" would break any terrorist quicker than waterboarding.