Quote of the Day - Sports Edition

"...Though Purdue began the season 1-5, it can become bowl eligible with three more wins. Unlikely as that may sound, consider that of their remaining opponents -- Wisconsin, Michigan, Michigan State and Indiana -- only the Spartans have a winning conference record. 'They can do the math,' [Purdue Coach Danny] Hope said of his players. 'They can read.'" - from today's clueless Kaplan Daily. Yeah, they can do math and read, but they can't score. Wisconsin 37, Purdon't 0.

(Image: Old Style Wisconsin)

Liar, Liar

Loopy Lou Dobbs and the taco terrorists.

Dick "The Dick" Cheney and his tragic case of amnesia.

And, of course, the hive of wingnuttia, the Fox Nutwork 24/7 (hilarious Stewart piece). (BTW, don't expect anything close to this insightful an analysis from Howie "Get That Job?" Kurtz.)

Wingnuts are such crappy liars.

Item: U.S. Navy Ship Fires on Polish City

No Polish jokes, please.

The Most Dishonest Columnist Strikes Again

Wanker extraordinaire and holder of the "Most Dishonest Columnist" trophy Michael "Mushroom Cloud" Gerson has another gem in today's Kaplan Daily. This time he's trying to convince anyone who's been in a coma for the past 9 months to believe it's Obama and the Democrats who are acting "small" by actually pushing back against the unrelenting Rethug attacks. The birthers, teabaggers, town hall clowns, secessionists, socialist/ fascist/ Hitler smears, Limpballs, Boo-Hoo, Manatee, "Waterloo," "Party of No," etc., that's the work of the true midgets in American politics. Oh, add Mushroom Cloud to that list, too.

(Photo: Is this a douche bag or what?!)

Winky and Quayle: Perfect Together

Former VP Dan "Deer in the Headlights" Quayle and former Alaska Governor and snowbilly grifter Winky You Betcha had very similar poll numbers following their appearances at the Rethug conventions of 1988 and 2008, respectively. A significant majority of Americans saw both as unqualified to be President and largely incompetent for their jobs.

Of course, both Winky and Deer were heavily promoted by Wee Willie Kristol and the neocon clown network that is continually seeking candidates for public office that are willing to adopt their neocon/Likudnik message without question or reservation. Will Joe the Plumber be their next project?

Commander-in-Chief

Here's a photo of President Obama doing something that neither Preznit Dumbya nor The Dick had the guts or decency to do: receive the bodies of servicemen killed in either Iraq or Afghanistan. It's called taking responsibility and paying respects. As the Commander-in-Chief, the President is ultimately responsible for our armed forces, and bears the burden of sending them into harm's way. It's one thing to send them off with flags waving and bands playing; it's another thing to accept the consequences of the decisions that you make, and honor the fallen when they return. Obama has.

Expect wingnuts everywhere to find some excuse to criticize this action by the President. But the fact remains, Dumbya and The Dick weren't willing to put themselves with the fallen soldiers as Obama has.

(AP photo by P.M. Monsivais)

Quote of the Day

"You know what's worse than being sick and not having health insurance? Having to sit through the Lieberman filibuster that kept it from you." -- Jon Stewart on the Daily Show.

Lieberliar's Unhealthy Move

Sen. Joe Lieberliar (Aetna-CT) announced yesterday that he would side with his Rethug partners in voting against a public option in the Senate health insurance reform bill. In a typical profile in courage, Lieberliar waited until the Democratic leadership announced that an opt-out public option would be in the Senate version of the bill before peeing in the Democrats' punchbowl. In so doing, he's on record as favoring no change in the status quo. . .big surprise.

Now we see how Lieberliar rewarded President Obama and the Democrats in the Senate after they forgave him for aggressively campaigning against the President in 2008, and allowed him to be the chairman of the Senate Homeland Security and Government Oversight Committee (which he's used recently to pimp the Fux News inspired Obama "czar" phony controversy). At the first strategic opportunity, the Senate Dems need to kick him out of their caucus and strip him of his committee leadership. Let the Rethugs claim him; he was never our 60th vote anyway.

UPDATE: driftglass has a recap of Lieberliar's betrayals here.

UPDATE 2: Paul Begala points out that Lieberliar opposed President Clinton's health care reform initiative in the '90s -- even when it didn't have a public option.

Winky for Mother of the Year

Levi Johnston's talking more about life with former Alaska Governor Winky You Betcha. On the CBS Early Show, Johnston said that Winky often jokingly referred to her Down Syndrome child Trig as her "retarded baby," and that daughter Bristol was more of the mother to Trig than Winky, who was never around (maybe she was practicin' her "fancy pageant walkin'").

Johnston has promised to share more behind-the-scenes dirt on life with Winky and the Wasilla Snowbillies. So Winky's adoring boosters better get cracking on that Mother of the Year award before Levi spills more beans.

From the Rethug Assignment Desk...

...straight to the front page of the Kaplan Daily comes this expose of AARP, which supposedly stands to benefit from their support of health insurance reform. Since House Rethug staffers are quoted freely in the article, one must assume they acted as "reporter" Dan Eggen's assignment editor. Weighing in with equally altruistic motives is a spokesperson for Alliant Group who was a staffer for Sen. Charles "My Assly Is" Grassley (Rethug-IA) before the revolving door transported him to his new career. It would be beyond the ability of Kaplan's crack reporters to cover all the straight-up chicanery coming from the anti-reform side; it's so much easier to just take this weasel smear masquerading as a news story, cut off the Rethug press release header and call it a column. The Fox Nutwork will be proud of you boys!

Department of Unintentional Humor

"A good time to be a conservative." So says the headline of neocon wanker Wee Willie Kristol's op-ed in the Kaplan Post. "A good time" in the sense, apparently, that losing election after election is a good time. And Wee Willie's estimation of where the "center of gravity" will be for the conservative Rethugs in 2012? With Winky, Boo Hoo and Pills, that's who. (Added irony: There's a picture of Winky resigning as governor of Alaska that accompanies Wee Willie's wank. Hee hee hee).

So many times, Wee Willie has been dead wrong in his predictions, but this time we fervently hope he's right. Adding the percentages of Americans who view that trio favorably might get you to 30% in the polls. Which would mean more good times for Wee Willie we suppose.

"Lie, Terrify, Win, Repeat"

Check out Media Matters' latest compilation of the lies and distortions emanating from the right-wing noise machine, led by Fux News.

After 10 months of increasingly unhinged and deceitful attacks against the Obama Administration, the wingnut Wurlitzer is enjoying cover from the Beltway Media villagers, who exchanged their press credentials for pom-poms during the run up to the invasion of Iraq and who now can't see that their "sister news organization" (as ABC's Jake "Tippy" Tapper put it) is a Republican-operative-run political operation geared at bringing down the President and his agenda.

Snowe Daze

Maine Rethuglican Senator Olympia "Sleet &" Snowe has been the lone holdout in the Rethuglican Party willing to bargain with the Democratic majority on the health insurance reform bill. The fact that she's exercising so much influence among her collegues is a testament to the obsessive quest for "bipartisanship" by the Obama Administration. But as Howard Fineman points out in his Newsweek column:

"In case the White House hasn't noticed, Republicans in Congress are engaged in what amounts to a sitdown strike. They don't like anything about Obama or his policies; they have no interest in seeing him succeed. Despite the occasional protestation to the contrary, the GOP has no intention of helping him pass any legislation."

The results of this obsession may be a watered-down bill that doesn't truly reform health insurance, and will cause a drop-off in support for Obama by his base.

So instead of courting a reluctant Sleet & Snowe for "bipartisan" window dressing, the Administration might want to get its act together and get the best possible bill that provides a public option and other reforms. They'll be judged at the polls for that, and not on the makeup of the votes in Congress.

Slurp of the Week

As we've noted, Conventional Wisdom guided missile "Dude" Chris Cillizza loves lists. He's got one in the Kaplan Daily every Monday! Today he's got the 10 most influential GOP pols! And Number 1 is (no, not that Number 1!): Winky You Betcha!! Yes, the same Winky that only gets about 20% in polling of Rethugs' favorite for 2012! The same Winky whose unfavorable numbers are at an all-time high! That won't stop the Dude from slurping Winky!

Notice how fluid the Conventional Wisdom is in the world of Dude Cillizza, comparing last June's list to today's: Dick "The Dick" Cheney is out, as is Perfesser Poot Gingrich; Blowdry Bob McDonnell dropped from #4 to #10; Winky You Betcha wasn't even in the top 5! That Conventional Wisdom is hard to keep up with, even for a Beltway Kool Kid like the Dude.

(Photo: The Dude: "Sluuuurrrrrrppppp!")

Faux Outrage Over Faux News

Joe Conason's article in Salon is a terrific rebuttal to the right wing pundits and the Jake "Tippy" Tapper-style apologists who want us to believe that Fux News is a legitimate news organization, rather than an arm of the Rethuglican Party. He's especially good at reminding them what Nixonian hatred of the press really was, and that it's ironic that some defenders of Fux work for the newspaper that Nixon tried to bring down: the Washington Post. Fux News founder and president Roger Ailes was a Nixon operative, and was one of legendary smear merchant Lee Atwater's colleagues in the Rethuglican apparatus. As Conason notes:

"The objective for Ailes. . .is not fairness or balance. The objective is to win by whatever means necessary. That includes marketing himself and his employees as high-minded truth seekers and innocent victims of snotty liberalism -- much in the mode of old Nixon."

Read the whole article to get a true sense of how misguided the "outrage" over outing Fux as a partisan organization really is.

Limpballs Punk'd

Non-NFL owner Pills Limpballs was punk'd on his radio rant the other day by an obscure humor blogger peddling a bogus Obama college "thesis." Part way through his schtick it was brought to his attention he'd been had and he was forced to back down. Bwahahahahaha!

Given the "morans" in the wingnut media, look for this already discredited hoax to become another Obama birth certificate/ pallin' around with terrorists/ hitlersocialistfascist viral meme for them.

Hasta La Vista, Loopy Lou?

CNN is under renewed pressure to fire immigrant-bashing winger Lou "Loopy Lou" Dobbs, who has been carrying on a nasty campaign for years against undocumented immigrants from Latin America. Embarrassingly, CNN is trying to lure Hispanic viewers through its programming ("Latino in America"), but major Hispanic media organizations and advocacy groups aren't buying it and are accusing CNN of hypocrisy. Loopy Lou is reportedly angling for a job with the Fux Business cable channel -- what a perfect fit that would be -- where he would join the loon John "Pornstache" Stossel, the self-styled libertarian who used to appear on "20/20" and complain about any government involvement in anything. (If he and Pornstache can coexist, that is.)

CNN can't have both Loopy Lou and a significant Hispanic audience. It's a little like expecting Glenn "Boo Hoo" Beck to have an audience of sane people.

UPDATE: According to Fux's house Latino Geraldo "El Moustachio Grande" Rivera, (Li'l Latin?) Loopy Lou won't be coming to his Nutwork.

Quote of the Day

"Factions should compete, but they should also recognize the legitimacy of other factions and, indeed, their necessity for a vigorous self-regulating democracy. Seeking to deliberately undermine, delegitimatize and destroy is not Madisonian. It is Nixonian." -- Obama Derangement Syndrome sufferer and Fox "News" regular Charles "Kraphammer" Krauthammer in today's WaPo, on the "war" that's been declared on Fux "News" by the Obama administration. The irony here, that clueless Kraphammer presumably misses, is this is precisely what he and Fux "News" have been doing since day one of the Obama term - undermining, delegitimatizing, and destroying (or trying to in their own crackpot way) the Obama presidency. When the administration simply points out the truth that Fux is not a news organization, the wingnut wurlitzer (with a few Villagers like ABC's Jake "Tippy" Tapper) goes into overdrive. And Nixonian? Coming from a Rethug like Kraphammer, is that a complement? Or is it simply the talking point put out by Grover Norquist that seems to be in heavy rotation in wingnuttia the past 36 hours?

And, in related news, as Wonkette reports, Politico's Asshat Mike Allen pumps a Roger Ailes run for Preznit (as a Republican, of course). Hee hee. What planet does this guy live on? No Fox bias there!

Send Frank Gaffney to Afghanistan -- In Uniform

Far right-wing chickenhawk Frank "Gas" Gaffney was on Tweety's Hardball show yesterday, and at the end of his extreme fulminations about Afghanistan attacked guest Ron Reagan, who was pointing out the dire situation there, thanks to the previous gang. Gas was fresh from giving felon Irving "Scooter" Libby and The Dick awards for being fellow right wingers at his "Center for Security Policy", which is sponsored by the Scaife Foundation and other far right sources of wingnut welfare. Things heated up when Gas said to Reagan, "your father would be ashamed of you," and Reagan replied, "you better watch your mouth about that."

Gas is one of those neocons who chose not to wear the uniform of their country, but who fancy themselves "tough" military experts unafraid of sending other Americans to their deaths. On an earlier appearance on Hardball, Gas was discussing American troop deaths in Iraq:

"It is regrettable that they had to die, but I believe they did have to die. . . .I'm still delighted that we did what we did."

Since Gas seems to think that Ron Jr.'s opposition to further troop increases in Afghanistan would make Ron Sr. "ashamed," we'd like to see Gas put his ass where his gas is and sign up for front line duty in Afghanistan. That way, Ron Sr. wouldn't be ashamed of him either for sitting another war out on the sidelines.

Party of Winky?

Former Alaska Governor and snowbilly grifter Winky You Betcha has issued an endorsement in a New York Congressional race, using the method for all of her serious policy statements: Facebook. Winky's decided to break with the Rethuglican candidate -- who's apparently not far right enough -- and endorse the Conservative Party candidate for the vacant 23rd Congressional district seat. That should ensure a split vote on the right, and Democrat Bill Owens a great chance to pick up the seat.

Well played, Winky!! We're waiting to hear from Tin Man Steele on your defection. . .waiting. . . .waiting. . . .

Chickenhawk Dick Squawks Again

The Dick is at it again. In a speech to a room full of neocons armchair generals* yesterday, The Dick attacked President Obama's deliberate process in deciding on troop levels in Afghanistan. Saying that the President was "afraid" to make a decision, The Dick claimed that he was hearing "the drumbeat of defeatism" regarding Afghanistan. (Actually, The Dick might want to cut back on the medication to see if that eliminates the drumbeat sound in his head).

To review recent history, it was The Dick's regime in 2008 that rejected the commanding general's request for an additional 30,000 troops for Afghanistan -- the country from which we were attacked on 9-11 -- while we continued to wage war on a country that wasn't involved in that attack, that had no contact with al Qaeda, and that had no weapons of mass destruction. Chickenhawk Dick is all for involving us in military adventures overseas, weakening our military capabilities by stretching them to the breaking point, while at a comfortable distance from the battles.

To review more distant history, no one who claimed to have had "other priorities" during the Vietnam War in obtaining 5 deferments should be accusing anyone of being "afraid." Although given The Dick's "skill" with a shotgun, it's probably best for our troops that he sat out the Vietnam War.
_______
*Postscript: Tweety had a video of the gathering, and sure enough it had the usual neocon suspects: Rummy, Frank "Gaffe" Gaffney, Doug "Flake" Feith, Irving "Scooter" Libby. So much stupid in one place. . .

Does Rep. Boner Know About This?

It seems the stress of Sen. John "Walnuts" McSame's election night beat-down caused Rethug men to suffer a drop in testosterone levels! We're sure it didn't affect Rich Lowry, who had visions of Winky dancing in his head win or lose. But we're wondering if the phenomenon was felt by the likes of Rep. John "Boner" Boehner, or did his Man Tan simply fade a few shades. And how about Pills Limpballs? Gauleiter Hannity? (What are we thinking - they don't have testosterone!) Is this what's known as blue balls?

Most of all, we'd be curious what happened to (M)Ann Coulter's man juice levels...

Dems Get Tough With Big Bidness

Democrats are finally getting attuned to the outrage being felt across the country over big CEO compensation and the protected status of the health insurance industry. Democrats in the House and Senate are moving ahead with legislation to remove the anti-trust exemption from the health insurance companies, which they've held since WWII. Once enacted (and it's received bipartisan support in the House), the Feds can go after the crooks for "price fixing, bid rigging and market allocation." Also, the Obama Administration is going to order pay cuts averaging 90% (!) for the top 25 executives in each of the seven companies that received government bailout monies in the past year. This includes AIG, Bank of America, Citigroup, GM, GMAC, Chrysler, and Chrysler Financial.

Now THAT's what we're talking about!

Of course, there are some who remain clueless.

Bye Bye Bernie

Former New York City Police Commissioner Bernie "Bad Cop" Kerik has been ordered to jail by a Federal Judge after attempting to influence witnesses and jurors in his upcoming trial for corruption. He had been out on $500,000 bail awaiting trial.

As best buds with former NYC mayor and Rethug Presidential washout Rudy "Rudy!" Giuliani, Bad Cop was once Dumbya's pick to be Secretary of Homeland Security at the urging of Rudy!, but had to withdraw as corruption allegations mounted.

We wish Bad Cop the best in doing jail time, but crooked cops usually find themselves at the bottom of the food chain in the slammer. Oh, and he'll need to buy some soap-on-a-rope for those communal showers. . . .

(photo: Rudy! demonstrates the "inmate hug" to Bad Cop)

Fux's Greatest Hits

Fux News apologists in the mainstream media like to pretend that there's a "wall" between Fux's numerous far right pundits (Herr Hannity, O'Liely and Boo Hoo Beck) and their "news" organization. It's obvious b.s. -- one only need look at the Teabagger cheerleading and "town hall" disruptions that Fux engaged in to know that they tried to make the news, more than cover it. Here's a sampling of the "news" organization's clearest journeys over the line to advocacy of Rethuglican issues.

Fux News: The Rethugs R Us.

Rethug Party Identification In The Toilet

The new ABC News/Washington Post poll shows that only 20% of Americans identified themselves as Rethuglicans, the lowest percentage in the 26 years the question has been asked. Other findings indicate that only 19% trust the Rethugs to make the right decisions for the country's future, compared to the President at 49% trust.

Crosswalk over to Sully - he's got a quick hit on Chris "Conventional Wisdom" Cilizza's take on the poll. Hee hee.

(image: A Rethuglican defibrillator)

Wingnut Slapdown!

At a meeting of the Western Conservative Political Action Committee (WCPAC), paleoconservative David "Peachy" Keene (head of the right-wing American Conservative Union) was sandbagged by uber right-wing psycho John "Ladies' Man" Ziegler, an extreme fan of former Gov. Winky You Betcha and an all-around douchebag when it comes to women. At one point after some nasty questioning, Peachy calls Ziegler an "asshole" (accurate and not especially newsworthy), and proceeds to bar Ziegler from the WCPAC proceedings. Hee hee.

Could this start another fracture within the wingnut world? Not with the lightly-regarded, fifth-class Ladies' Man involved, but hope springs eternal.

Lieberliar Hasn't Learned His Lesson. Has Obama?

Following the cue of the wingnut media, Sen. Joe Lieberliar (Party of Joe - CT) will be holding Homeland Security hearings on "czars" in the Obama Administration. This has been one of the phony "issues" that the right wing has thrown against the wall, hoping to gain some traction. Most of the "czars" are holding positions created by Dumbya's Assministration -- but don't tell the wingers.

Lieberliar, of course, was extended the olive branch by Obama, who declined to insist that the Senate strip the sanctimonious weasel of his committee chairmanship after he supported Sen. McSame in the 2008 Presidential race. Note to the President: Learned your lesson?

50,000 More Reasons to Hate Little Danny Snyder

We always suspected the little turd running the Washington Redskins into the ground for the past decade was a Rethug. He had all the characteristics: incompetence, greed, arrogance, selfishness, more money than sense, etc. He also seemed all too willing to shut down progressive voices on his radio stations. But it wasn't until we saw a WaPo listing of contributions to the campaign of Blowdry Bob McDonnell, the Rethug/ Pat Robertson candidate for governor of Virginia, that we had more reasons to hate the little m-f-er: a $50,000 contribution to Blowdry's campaign by "the Washington Redskins."

From now until Little Danny is disassociated from the franchise, this Hackwhacker will be a Packer fan. (Today: Go Chiefs!)

Footnote: The WaPo had a strong editorial endorsement today of R. Creigh Deeds, the Democratic candidate for Virginia governor. Fred must be on vacation.

UPDATE: Chiefs win 14-6!!! Yay!!!! Packers win 26-0!! Double yay!!

(to the tune of "Danny Boy") "Oh, Danny Boy, the Skins, the Skins are all effed up; and you and Vin* are the tools that must be blamed; For the fish, the fish stinks from the head on down; And you and Vin are the fish heads for the Skins"

* Vinnie Cerrato, Director of Player Personnel and Danny's handball partner.
(Photo: 'Nuff said)

Racist Rethug of the Week

Tangipahoa (!) Parish "Justice" of the Peace KKK-Keith Bardwell (Rethug-LA) is facing calls for his removal by Louisiana politicians, including Gov. Bobby "Kenneth" Jindal (Rethug) and Sen. Mary Landrieu (DINO). He's the peckerwood who refused to marry an interracial couple recently, arguing that he's not a racist, he just wanted to spare any future children the couple may have from the heartache of being ridiculed by racists like...um...him. Not to worry. There are millions more like him ready to take his place.

(Image: KKK-Keith Bardwell, "Justice" of the Peace and Proud Rethug Peckerwood)

Quote of the Day

"The floor of a cave called; it wants its batshit back." -- The wonderful Bill Maher, on "Real Time", referring to Rethug nut Michelle "I See Commies" Bachmann.

Check out the entire video, which looks at the right wing phenomenon since the election of President Obama. Stick around for the last 30 seconds or so, when he tackles the unhinged Boo Hoo Beck. Excellent.

Chamber of Horrors

Steven Perlstein's op/ed in today's WaPo, "U.S. Chamber of Commerce Reaping the Whirlwind," nails the cheese balls at the Chamber, starting with its head(cheese) Tom Donohue. Saying "the world is finally catching on to his game" of anti-tax, anti-regulation, anti-government Rethug rhetoric, Perlstein reviews Donohue's / the Chamber's pattern of disingenuousness on health reform, climate change, financial market reform, etc., as they work hand-in-glove with the Rethugs. While one shouldn't be surprised that the Chamber and Donohue love them some Rethugs, the worrisome thing is the tactics being employed - more of the same fear-mongering and false information that characterizes other Rethug operations (the NRA, astroturfing tea baggers, the birthers and deathers, etc. etc.).

You don't necessarily expect that from an institution like the Chamber. Conservative positions, yes; outright lying and distortions, no. The lying has even come into the Chamber's own self-puffery. Perlstein (and others) note that the Chamber's claim of 3 million members is wildly exaggerated - it's actually 300,000. And many of those members aren't eager to be associated with the Chamber's reactionary world view (witness the recent defections of Apple, Nike and PG&E over the Chamber's climate change position). Yet another Rethug disinformation operation that needs some daylight shed into its operations and tactics.

Make Way for the Thirders

You got your NRA second amendment gun strokers, you got your tenth amendment tenthers, and now... the Thirders, in the form of the National Anti-Quartering Association, a group dedicated to "defending cottages, livery stables, and haylofts" from the quartering of soldiers. Boo Hoo Beck, get on this!

(h/t to Germantown bureau chief and job hunter Brian)

Winky's Woes

Former Alaska Gov. Winky You Betcha's ratings are at an all-time low, according to a new Gallup poll, where she's viewed favorably by 40%. (Frankly, it's shocking that after the botched 2008 campaign, her ignorant interviews, the "death panels" flap, her quitting the job as Governor, and her multiple family scandals, that Winky even polls in double digits, but that's Amurica).

The Party of No. . .Shame

If it wasn't obvious that the Rethuglican Party has always been in the tank for large corporate and financial interests -- health insurance, energy, banking, you name it -- you need only look at the vote in the House on a bill to curb the out-of-control financial derivatives industry. With only one Rethug joining the 42 Dems on the House Financial Services Committee, the bill passed 43 to 26, with every Rethug saying "no" to regulation of the industry that nearly brought America's economy to its knees.

As John Cole asks, "the financial crash of 2008 was not enough?" Then there's their efforts to torpedo health insurance reform. . .nice bunch.

What Up, My Man?!

Actually, RNC Chairclown Tin Man Steele's blog should have been named "What Down?" since that perfectly describes the status of the RNC web site that was recently ...um... launched (if by "launched" you mean "crashed and burned"). "What Up?" has now been renamed, after only 24 hours, "Change the Game." ("Change the Name?" No?)

As Germantown bureau chief Brian tells us, there is already reaction to Tin Man's epic fail in Internet tubes wizardry. We particularly like the comment by "Dave Nowak."

The Most Trusted Name In Spin

To no one's great surprise, CNN failed to disclose CNN political "analyst" and Rethug operative Alex "Cash or Check?" Castellanos' ties to the health insurance lobby organization America' Health Insurance Plans (AHIP). Cash or Check's company has been buying media time for AHIP's ads trying to scuttle health insurance reform and maintain the status quo.

CNN says it will disclose Cash or Check's connections to the health insurance industry in the future. Excellent!! He's been "commenting" on health insurance reform issues for months without having to disclose his affiliation, and only now CNN fesses up. Hey, we already have Fuxed News, we don't need Fuxed Lite.

(photo: Cash or Check Castellanos displays the thumb that he had CNN sit and spin on)

Mr. Pigskin

Stung by his rejection for part ownership of the St. Louis Rams, hate radio star Pills Limpballs lashed out, saying:

"This is not about the NFL. It's not about the St. Louis Rams. It's not about me. This is about the ongoing effort by the left in this country, wherever you find them, in the media, the Democratic Party, or wherever, to destroy conservatism, to prevent the mainstreaming of anyone who is prominent as a conservative. . .this is about the future of the United States of America and what kind of country we're going to have."

Well, Pills, it is about you, actually. Your hate speech, which is way beyond "conservative," drew the disapproving attention of the NFL and its billionaire owners, who are hardly left wing radicals. Your racist statements are well documented and clear, so don't pretend this is a vendetta against "conservatism." Then there's the issue of your drug abuse. . .

Oh, and about destroying "conservatism?" You're doing a reasonably good job of that yourself, Drugster. And we wouldn't want to stand in the way of that worthy task.

(photo: Limpalls announcing the formation of a regional football team, the Red State Swine, following his rejection as part-owner of the St. Louis Rams)

"I'm The Cow On The Tracks"

That's the way RNC Chairclown Michael "Tin Man" Steele described himself as opposing the Obama Administration's health insurance reform "train." More like a deer in the headlights, Tin Man. As many have noted, a cow on the tracks isn't much of a match for a train, and neither is Tin Man much of a match for the "train" rolling down the tracks about to make hamburger out of him.

Tin Man was recently lectured in a closed-door meeting of Rethug political leaders that he was not to make policy, and to focus on fundraising and organizing for 2010. Rethug big wigs cringe at his many gaffes and misstatements. But Tin Man, thankfully for the amusement of his many detractors, can't resist the TV cameras, and seems to have a death wish (expressed today in the form of a train bearing down on his sorry ass).

Tippy Toe, Tippy Toe

"All this stuff is the mainstreaming of Rush Limbaugh from off this far-right fringe they've tried to put me. I just keep tiptoeing into the mainstream. And it just irritates them." -- Never- gonna- be- NFL- owner Pills Limpballs, in an interview with NBC recently about the opposition to his bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. Hmmm "...[F]ar right fringe they've tried to put me?" "Mainstreaming?" Pills is more delusional than we thought if he thinks he's within a light-year of the "mainstream" in America. And who's put him in the far-right fringe more firmly than John Wayne Gacy Limpballs himself? What kind of mind-altering shit is Limpballs on now? Someone, call his doctor!

(Image: Limpballs attempting to "tip toe")

Liz Cheney...

...a chip off the old Dick.

(Image: Liz Cheney, on a good day)

Judge to Birther Queen: Pay Up

U.S. District Judge Clay Land is fed up with birther queen Orly "My Ass is Sorely" Taitz's nonsensical challenges to President Obama's legitimacy as a U.S. citizen. Fining her $20,000 for misconduct, Judge Land wrote: "When a lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law, that lawyer ceases to advance her cause or the ends of justice."

Hopefully, "Ass" will refuse to pay, and, following the voices in her head, will carry on her birther crusade forward into additional State and Federal Courts. . .

(photo: dialing up the crazy)

"What Up?" It Ain't You, Tin Man

The cluelessly tone deaf website of Rethuglican National Committee Chairclown Michael "Tin Man" Steele includes a blog entitled "What Up?" It's a hoot and a half, but what else would you expect from Tin Man's most excellent snow-white operation.

Way to "get down" with your "homies," Tin Man! You sho' nuff gonna get them bruthas "jiggy" with this "groove" [sound of fingers snapping off tempo]. Note to Tin Man: Remember to push for a reduction in the capital gains tax on your "hep" blog, and call President Obama a "socialist" non-American while you're at it!

UPDATE: Oooo! Tin Man's effort had the shelf life of a week-old tuna sammich! Change, that's the ticket!!

State Murder in Texas?

Strange how the mainstream media isn't aggressively covering a major scandal in Texas involving the secessionist Rethug Gov. Rick "Hair" Perry. The controversy stems from the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham, who appears to have been innocent of arson and murder in the deaths of his three young children. Read about it in the September 2009 New Yorker magazine, a story which which hasn't gotten the airplay it deserves. The immaculately coiffed Hair signed the death warrant for Willingham, and now appears to be trying to derail the official investigation into his execution by dismissing the board investigating the matter, and replacing it with political cronies.

Hair is being challenged for the Governor's race by fellow Rethug Kay Bailey Hutchinson, and is obviously worried that this scandal -- and his involvement in it and the subsequent effort to bury it -- will turn voters against him. That is, before he gets Texas to secede from the Union. . .

(photo: "Check out this hair, everybody. The roots are well fertilized with manure.")

Merrie England May Be Less Merrie Now

Lachrymose loser Glenn "Boo Hoo" Beck is on the telly in Britain, thanks to Rupert "Fux" Murdoch's Sky Television, which is broadcasting Boo Hoo's show there. Alex Massie has a Brit's take on Boo Hoo and his apocalyptic glibertarianism, so different from the conservatism being practiced in Britain and elsewhere in Europe. A few choice takes:

"...[I]t's dispiriting to see quite so many decent Americans in thrall to such charlatanry..."

"...[Beck] sometimes resembles a snake oil salesman's dim-witted assistant accidentally promoted to the top job..."

Quote of the Day

"They don't want a swine owning a Ram." -- Sports writer Dave Zirin, on MSNBC's Morning Meeting, referring to the NFL Players Association's opposition to Pills Limpballs wanting part ownership of the St. Louis Rams.

Zirin also mentioned that NFL owners were concerned about Limpballs' past racist statements about African Americans, as well as his "extracurricular" pharmaceutical history. (Alas, no mention of him winning the John Wayne Gacy look alike contest a while ago).

"Let's Not Pretend They're A News Network"

White House Communications Director Anita Dunn really nails it in an interview on CNN's Reliable Sources with Zowie Howie Kurtz:

"The reality of it is that Fox News operates as either the research arm or the communications arm of the Republican Party. . .take their talking points, put them on the air, take their opposition research, put them on the air, and that's fine. But let's not pretend they're a news network the way CNN is."

With veteran Republican operative (Nixon and Reagan Administrations) Roger Ailes, and conservative media mogul Rupert Murdoch in charge of Fux, with the vast majority of their pundits on the extreme right (Wee Willie, Kraphammer, Turdblossom Rove) and with their stars consisting of Herr Hannity, Boo Hoo Beck, O'Liely, and the Fox and Friends wingers (Steve Douche and Co.) how could anyone reasonably argue against that?

No Joy in Mudville

A pair of fearsome woodland mammals, the Badger and the Wolverine, were beaten by a woody (Hayes?) tree and a fictional scout, respectively. Oh, yeah, and the Terrapins lost to a devilish preacher (Pat Robertson?!?).

More salt on the wound: the Deadskins make it an 0-fer weekend!

Quotes of the Day

"I congratulate President Obama on receiving this prestigious award. I join my fellow Americans in expressing pride in our president on this occasion." -- Sen. John "Walnuts" McCain (R-AZ), offering the classy Republican alternative to the general frothings of Obama Derangement Syndrome sufferers over President Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.

"Stick it up your ass!" -- Rep. Ike Skelton (D-MO) addressing Rethug homophobe Rep. Todd "Head" Akin (Rethug-MO) on the House floor, purportedly over opposition from Head Akin and other Rethugs to the inclusion of a provision, in a defense policy bill, to extend federal hate crimes law to include violence based on sexual orientation. With all the closeted gays in the Rethug caucus, they should have a pretty good idea what the "it" is that goes up the ass.

'Nuff Said

Headline: "Husband killed soccer mom/gun advocate during video chat"

Meleanie Hain, of Lebanon, Pennsylvania, gained attention last year when she fought to carry a holstered handgun to her daughter's soccer games (!!) She was shot by her husband while on a video "chat" with a male friend ("how big is your gun's 'barrel' -- hee hee. . . bang!").

Her holstered gun was near the front door, where she must have expected an attack from another soccer team.

Why Does Limpballs Side With the Taliban?

It's because of President Obama, of course. Hate radio talk host Pills Limpballs on the President's selection to receive the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize:

"Something has happened here that we all agree with the Taliban and Iran about and that is he doesn't deserve the award."

Country First! (Except when a black man is elected President).

Boo Yah!

(photo: Limpballs won the John Wayne Gacy look alike contest a few years ago)

Can't More Dems Be Like This?

Florida Rep. Allan Grayson is fast becoming the Democrats' most vocal proponent of health insurance reform. He's taken to the House floor to blast the Rethugs' utter lack of reform proposals that don't manage to perpetuate the status quo -- or make the insurance companies even wealthier -- and to refuse to apologize for pointing out that over 44 thousand Americans die each year because they lack health insurance.

Here's his latest tour de force. He says to the Rethugs, "America doesn't care about your feelings." Why can't more Dems speak up like Rep. Grayson? We're waiting.

A Colbert Classic

Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert has whacked Fux's resident loon Glenn "Boo Hoo" Beck several times in the past, but this week's handling of the crying psycho is an instant classic. Colbert's theme is that Boo Hoo is as sincere as he is about what he does. A few quotes:

"It's like looking into a mirror. . .after you've done a ton of coke off it."

"They are attacking the silver gopher. . .just because he dominates the demographic of 18 to 49 year old voices in his head."

"His show is like a dramatization of the pain chart on a pediatrician's wall."

Again, a classic takedown.

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize

After less than 9 months in office, President Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel Committee honored the President for his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." The Committee indicated that the decision was unanimous.

Congratulations to the President; just another stark contrast with the past eight years to have the current leader of the free world recognized by this prestigious award. Wingnut heads should begin exploding in three, two, one. . .

UPDATE: The Democratic National Committee hits back at the churlish Rethuglican reaction of party above country.

Worth Quoting. . . .

Seen in Andrew Sullivan's blog today:

". . .If the reform proves popular, then the GOP will be for ever tarred as the party that refused to help more people get health insurance or to tackle health care costs."

Good to remember.

Rethugs and Rape

Jamie Leigh Jones, a contractor employee of KBR in Iraq, was gang raped by several co-workers and locked in a shipping container so that the crime could be covered up. When she tried to sue KBR, she was told that her employment contract with them required her to go to internal arbitration rather than the court system.

On Tuesday, freshman Sen. Al Franken succeeded in getting an amendment to the Defense Appropriations Bill which would bar contractors from Department of Defense work if they required mandatory arbitration for assault cases, rather than allowing the victim their day in court. One would think this would get nearly unanimous bipartisan support, but the amendment passed, 68 to 30, mostly along party lines.

The shameful part of this story is that 30 Senate Rethuglicans -- 70% of their Senate members -- voted against the amendment, and presumably for corporate interests in keeping sexual assaults on their employees from going public.

Quote of the Day

"But if, God forbid, you wind up in jail, it's not going to be a good thing for the inmates to see on reruns." -- Jimmy Kimmel, interviewing former Rethug leader Tom "Bug Man" Delay about his stint on "Dancing With The Stars." Yeah, the red pants and high heeled boots might send the wrong signal. . .

BTW, Bug Man had a frozen grin on his face for much of Kimmel's mocking interview.

Nepotism Among The Villagers

We just saw Luke "Little Timmeh" Russert doing a broadcast from Capitol Hill on MSNBC. Little Timmeh is the 24 year old son of the late Villager potentate Tim Russert and writer Maureen Orth. Little Timmeh just graduated from college in June 2008, and he's already an on-air personality, ostensibly covering "youth issues." OK, how about this issue: unemployment among recent college graduates. The solution: have a celebrity as a parent!

(photo: I get by with a little help from my last name)

Getting Ready To Stick A Fork In Him *

There is growing evidence that the Rethuglican candidate for Governor of New Jersey, Chris "Jumbo" Christie has peaked and will likely lose the upcoming election to incumbent Dem Gov. Jon Corzine. Rethuglican National Committee Chairclown Tin Man Steele has put the resources of his organization behind Jumbo, but Jumbo has no message beyond "don't vote for the other guy." Tin Man's involvement in political races seems to be the new "kiss of death."
_____
*but be prepared to run like hell if you do; there's a lot of gas in there.

(photo: "I'll have three hot dogs extra mustard and ketchup. Extra fries, and a double chocolate shake, too")

Shep Smith Stumbles on the Truth

The Fux Channel's Shep Smith seems to be off the Roger Ailes/Rupert Murdoch/right-wing noise machine reservation when it comes to health insurance reform. Today, he took Wyoming Rethug Sen. "Bare Ass" Barrasso to school, declaring,

"Every vote against the public option is a vote for the insurance companies."

Shep, be careful now. Fux won't like your Obamacare speech. Then again, maybe you're angling for a spot on another cable channel.

Unholy Mackeral!

There's word that wingnuts at Conservapedia -- a far right alternative reality version of Wikipedia -- are editing the Bible (!) in order to make it more wingnut-friendly through some nutty effort called the "Conservative Bible Project." After all, who needs that stuff about compassion, healing the sick, the meek shall inherit the earth, turn the other cheek, etc. liberal propaganda? Not the followers of St. Ronnie of Hollywood!

Jesus' General has it down to some pithy recreations of Biblical passages. Enjoy. . . and praise Wingnuttery!!

Waiting For A Porn Case To Ask Questions?

Think Progress notes that new Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor (yes!) has asked more questions during oral arguments in one hour than right-wing Justice Clarence "Uncle" Thomas has asked in several years. Uncle Thomas once went three years without asking a question during oral arguments. That's hard to believe; the Court must have had pornography cases to consider during that time. . . .
(photo: Uncle Thomas asks, "Could I see those pictures again?")

Working Overtime

Ghost writer alert! It seems Obama Derangement Syndrome sufferer Charles Kraphammer is working overtime over at the Kaplan Daily. Today he wrote screeds under the bylines of George "Quill" Will and Richard "America's Concern Troll" Cohen. Surely that's the only explanation for the churlish, sneering tone of both op/eds. Quill Will is a pompous ass capable of such things, of course, but usually spends his columns talking about the global warming hoax or what an erudite student of Cubs baseball he is. Cohen's either yakking about what a great sense of humor he has or how deeply concerned he is about keeping Roman Polanski free (so that, should they ever meet, Cohen can pummel him with his tiny fists of rage). So the suspicion naturally falls on Kraphammer who has nothing to do all day except foam at the mouth.

What we won't be doing today is linking to the profile of birfer queen Orly "Taint" Taitz in the "Style" section of the Kaplan Daily. The Taint profiled in the Kaplan Daily. 'Nuff said.

(Dicky Cohen image from Rising Hegemon)

Ooooo! That Smarts!

We just saw the total, forceful dismantling of right wing health insurance industry shill Betsy "Death Panels" McCaughey by Dylan Ratigan and Rep. Anthony Weiner on MSNBC's Morning Meeting. McCaughey, who was the originator of the "death panels" lie about health insurance legislation, kept ducking Ratigan's direct questions, until he and Weiner went into prosecutor mode and had Death Panels backed into a corner, hemming and hawing, mouth dry like cotton. We'll try to find a clip later and post it here for your amusement.

UPDATE: Huffington Post has the goods.

(photo: Death Panels on an earlier Daily Show appearance, looking through her notebook of lies, misinformation, and misleading factoids)

More, Tin Man, More!

As noted below, Rethug National Committee Chairclown Tin Man Steele can't keep away from the microphones, and apparently thinks he's the equal of President Obama. Mfff mff. . . (Not quite, but let's not puncture Tin Man's fantasy, let us encourage his delusions of grandeur). Like, for example, today, when he blasted the American Medical Association for backing health insurance reform in an event at the White House Rose Garden: "The AMA. . .does not have credibility on this healthcare issue. . .", Tin Man declared rather presumptuously.

Yes, the organization representing the nation's physicians doesn't have credibility on health care issues, according to Tin Man, a purely political hack who owes his job to Rethug contributors trying to deny Americans (and President Obama) the health insurance reform that would take obscene profits from the major health insurance companies and apply it to actual health care. Well played, Tin Man! May you continue to play the fool as the representative of your pathetic party.

Congressional Rethugs to Tin Man: Shaddup!

The GOP's gift that keeps on giving, Tin Man Steele, has been told by Rethug leaders in Congress to stop meddling in policy. The heated discussion, which took place last month according to Politico, may have been prompted by Tin Man's release of his own seniors' "health care bill of rights," which included a robust defense of Medicare. The dim bulb has been under the delusion that he, not Pills Limpballs, Boo-Hoo Beck, or Winky You Betcha, is the nominal leader of the Rethugs; that, mixed with his irresistible desire to be in front of a camera or microphone, has been a problem for the Rethugs from day one. We wish them more of the same!

Continue to speak out, Tin Man!

A Time to Remember

Yesterday, at Brookside Gardens in Maryland, my son and daughter-in-law celebrated their wedding with many of their friends and family, some coming from as far away as Japan. The ceremony took place at the Japanese Tea House (pictured here) with the reception in the Gardens' visitor center. Much laughter, happy tears, and boogying ensued (we can only guess what the bride and groom and their immediate circle were up to into the wee hours in the downtown Dupont Circle area!). We love you and wish you all the happiness life can bring!

To Brian and Chi:

"May you always have walls for the winds,
A roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
Laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
And all that your heart might desire!"

Quote of the Day

". .my honest view is that she would not be a winning candidate for the Republican Party in 2012, and in fact, were she to be the nominee, we would have a catastrophic election result." -- McSame campaign chief strategist Steve Schmidt speaking at the First Draft of History conference yesterday, referring to Winky You Betcha. "It's fairly inconceivable she could be elected."

Actually, we like the thought of a "catastrophic election result" for the Rethugs. Go Winky!!

The Villagers Push a Meme

For a perfect example of how the "mainstream media" (aka the Villagers, Beltway Kool Kids, etc.) takes its lead from the Drudges of the world, then do a "what if" and "it could be" piece of dog crap analysis, look no further than AP's piece on the "fallout" from Obama's attempt to get the 2016 Olympics for Chicago. The "piece," by Jennifer "Can't Get No" Loven and Julie "Slow" Pace, wants to set the table for the failed Olympic bid, which should be a two-or-three day news event, to be possibly "emblematic" of President Hussein Omuslin's failing administration. Clip and save for "Journalism 101 - How to Make Beef Stew Out of Thin Gruel."

More "Why Do They Hate America?"

Answer: Because B. Hussein Omuslin is "president," that's why! Must explain the great joy abounding in wingnuttia about the President's failed effort to swing the Olympics for Chicago. Patriots at (D)RedState, Wee Willie's Weakly Standard, and Michelle "Eva Braun" Malkin's sites are triumphantly bleating about the failure of the President to sway the Olympic committee. These clowns, like their brethren in Congress, would rather see Obama fail than the country succeed. Assholes.

The WaPo's Pollution, Cont'd.

Matt Yglesias writes about the WaPo's contempt for its readers in continuing to allow the valuable space on its op/ed page to be used by global climate change denier George "Quill" Will. The same critique would apply to pathological Obama-hater Charles Kraphammer, who has yet to write an op/ed that doesn't include a churlish ad hominem attack on the "Messiah complex" he ascribes to the President, but that exists only in his own twisted mind.

With the Congressional Quarterly/Hill papers, and the WaPo itself having laid off numerous reporters in the name of corporate profit maximizing, wouldn't it be nice if a George Soros, for example, would hire some of them and finance a new, progressive paper in the Washington area to compete with the Moonie Times and the Kaplan Daily?

Quote of the Day

"I'm not sure I would pick him out of a lineup" -- Texas Gov. Rick "Hair" Perry (Secessionist-TX) on his cousin Larry Don Wheeler, 74, who was killed in a shootout with sheriff's deputies this past Saturday. Odd. Wheeler is listed as a member of Perry's 2006 reelection steering committee. I guess hair is thicker than blood.

A New Hero In The Fight For Health Insurance Reform

Florida Representative Allan Grayson stood up on the House floor the other day and said what needed to be said: that the Rethugs weren't interested in doing anything but obstructing Democratic health insurance reform. Over 40,000 Americans die each year because they lack health insurance, and the obstruction is guaranteeing that more will die unless universal health insurance is realized.

The Rethugs know that if health insurance reform succeeds, not only will their insurance industry patrons suffer, but the Democrats will have won a popular fight and will have likely Congressional majorities and the Presidency for years to come. Rep. Grayson's not taking his comments back. Good for him. It's refreshing to see a Dem that stands up and refuses to let lies go unchallenged. And refuses to play the apology game, when he's only telling the truth.

Why Does Fux News Hate America?

The White House is pushing back on the lies that Fux News is spreading about Obama Administration activities. Their latest phony "issue" is the President's active involvement in trying to get the 2016 Olympics awarded to the U.S.
Wingnuts are whining that he should be staying home -- to clean up the messes they made (But remember how Dumbya spent several days in Beijing last summer, patting the asses of some volleyball players and drinking? Guess Dumbya's time isn't as important as Obama's, even to the wingnuts.). In particular, mentally disturbed Glenn "Boo Hoo" Beck gets his share of smack down:

"Once again Fox News' Glenn Beck program has shown that nothing is worthy of respect if it can be used as a part of a partisan attack to boost ratings."

As the title of the White House statement puts it, they're trying to turn a point of pride into a moment of shame.